Jim Crow Gets a Bath

Downstairs, the pot in the fireplace was boiling rapidly. Kilala immediately got up, changed back into white short-sleeved blouse, blue vest, gray skirt with the yellow Mickey Mouse logo, pink tie, white socks, and black shoes and ran downstairs to it. She removed the lid from the pot, stirred it up, and tasted it.

Meanwhile the seven animals were peeking from the top of the banister where Dumbo had stuck his head into a hole in it. They sniffed the air, breathed in deeply, sighed, and shouted, "Ahhhhh! Soup! Hurray!" Timothy, Jim, Big Daddy Lou, Lil' Urle, Zachariah, and Tyrone, who were not stupid enough to stick their heads through the banister, ran to the table, each one stepping on Dumbo's back. They were arguing over the food, each one wanting to be the first. Dumbo tried to follow them, but his head was in the banister. After several bumps, his head finally popped through, and he flew backwards into the wall. "Here I come!" Aching from the pain, he flew down the stairs, only to end up tumbling. He got up and quickly flew to the table and into his chair, but his chair fell backwards, and he went rolling out of it. He stood up in his chair and sat down to join the argument. Soon, all seven animals were fighting over bread rolls and knocking Dumbo out of his chair again. They were just about to bite into them when Kilala stopped them.

"Ah, ah, ah! Just a minute!" Kilala called to them. The animals stopped fighting and turned their heads to listen.

"Supper's not quite ready yet," said Kilala. "You'll just have time to wash."

"Wash?" Timothy, Big Daddy Lou, Lil' Urle, Zachariah, and Tyrone questioned in wonder.

"Ha! I knew there was a catch to it!" Jim grumbled, throwing down his spoon and crossing his wings in defiance.

"Why wash?" asked Zachariah.

"What for?" asked Big Daddy Lou.

"We're not going anywhere, are we?" asked Tyrone.

"It's not the New Year." said Timothy, as Big Daddy Lou, Zachariah, Tyrone, and Dumbo shook their heads.

"Oh, perhaps you have washed." Kilala smiled.

Timothy pondered for a moment. "Perhaps we..." Then he remembered what Kilala meant. "Yes, perhaps we have!"

"But when?" asked Kilala, crossly putting her hands on her hips.

Timothy kept waffling about when he and the other animals had already washed. "When? When? You said... Ah, last week, month, ye..., why, recently!" he finally said.

"Yes, recently!" said Big Daddy Lou, Lil' Urle, Zachariah, and Tyrone.

"Oh, really?" said Kilala. "Let me see your hands."

Timothy, Big Daddy Lou, Lil' Urle, Zachariah, Tyrone, and Dumbo placed their hands, wings, and hooves promptly behind their backs and backed up a bit. But Jim crossed his wings defiantly.

"Let me see your hands!" demanded Kilala.

Finally, Timothy held out his filthy hands.

"Why, Timothy! I'm surprised!" exclaimed a shocked Kilala. Timothy giggled bashfully and his hands once again.

Kilala looked at Zachariah. "Come on. Let's see them." Zachariah held out his wings as well. "Oh, Zachariah, my, my, my..." The tall crow blushed and hid his wings again.

Then she looked at Tyrone. "And you?" Tyrone held out his wings, and Kilala tsked at the sight.

Big Daddy Lou rubbed his wings on his legs and held them out for Kilala to inspect. "Worse than I thought." Kilala said sadly.

Dumbo held out his filthy hooves, only to fall flat on his face and make Kilala laugh.

Finally, Lil' Urle held out his wings. Kilala gasped at the sight of his filthy wings. "Oh! How shocking!" Lil' Urle quickly hid wings.

"Goodness me! This won't do at all!" said Kilala.

Jim looked at his wing and angrily shoved it back down.

"March straight outside and wash or you're not gonna get a bite to eat!" Kilala ordered the animals.

Sadly, the animals, other than Jim, looked at Timothy, who nodded and led them outside the open door, whose doorknob was remarkably fixed!

Naturally, Dumbo was not looking where he was going and flew straight into the wall on the wrong side of the door, which is actually the closet for storing pots and pans. He flew out and around the door to the outside.

"Humph!" said Jim, as he glared at the wall again.

"Well, aren't you going to wash?" Kilala asked the cigar-smoking crow.

Jim ignored her.

"What's the matter?" asked Kilala, "Cat got your tongue?"

Jim only turned to face Kilala and stuck his tongue out at her. Then he stomped outside, only to bump into a wall. making her laugh.

"Awwww, did you hurt yourself?" Kilala asked empathically.

"Humph!" Jim pouted. And with that, he marched straight outside, slamming the door behind him. He sat on a barrel, took the cigar out of his mouth, tapped the ashes out of it, threw it on the ground, grabbed a slice of buckwheat cake, and stuck it in his mouth. "Humph! Girls!"

"Courage, boys, courage," Timothy told his friends. "Don't be nervous."

Jim watched his friends and brothers approach an empty horse trough. They peered at the water nervously. Big Daddy Lou stuck a wing in the water and swirled it around. "Gosh!" he said, "It's wet!"

Tyrone stuck his wing in it, too. He quickly pulled it out, shivering. "Brrrrr!" he complained, "it's cold too!"

"We're not gonna do it, are we?" Fidget asked nervously.

"Well," said Bill. "It would please the princess."

"I'll take a chance on her!" Old Blind Joe spoke up.

"Me too!" Peewee Pete, Fidget, Max, and Bartholomew said in unison.

"Humph," John said from on top of the barrel. "Her wiles are beginning to work! But I'm warning you, you give them an inch, they'll walk all over you!"

"Don't listen to that old warthog!" Bill said indignantly. Then he turned to face Old Blind Joe, Peewee Pete, Fidget, Max, and Bartholomew. "Come one now, boys!"

"How hard can you scrub?" Max asked.

"Will our clothes shrink?" Peewee Pete asked.

"Do you get in the tub?" Old Blind Joe asked.

"Do you have to wash where it doesn't show?" Fidget asked.

"Now, don't get excited," Bill told them. "Here we go!" Then he began to sing.

Bill: Step up to the tub Oh! T'ain't no disgrace Just pull up your sleeves And pin them in place Then, scoop up the water And rub it on your face And go, "Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!"

Old Blind Joe, Peewee Pete, Fidget, Max, and Bartholomew picked up five separate bars of soap and began working up a lather on their hands and faces.

Bill: Pick up the soap Now, don't try to bluff Work up a lather And when you got enough Get your hands full of water And you snort And you snuff And go, "Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!"

In the meantime, the fly that bothered Peewee Pete returned by buzzing around Peewee Pete's head. Then it landed on the soap and started scrubbing.

Bill: You douse and souse You rub and scrub You sputter and splash All over the tubYou may be cold and wet When you're done But you gotta admit It's good and clean fun So splash all you likeT'ain't any trick As soon as you're through You'll feel mighty slick

John: Bunch of old nanny goats You make me sick Going, "Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!"

John then spat at them.

Bill then took a scrubbing floor brush and scrubbed Old Blind Joe's, Peewee Pete's, Fidget's, and Max's heads. He tried to scrub Bartholomew's head, but he ducked several times, avoiding the brush. Bill got mad and knocked Bartholomew into the trough with it.

"Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!" he shouted underwater, kicking his legs frantically, as Bill instead brushed his rear end with the brush.

Meanwhile, John was still making fun of his friends. "Ha! Next thing you know, she'll be tying your fur up in pink ribbons and smelling you up with that stuff called perfume!" Then he spat out the chewed part of the buckwheat cake.

Meanwhile, the thugs went back to washing. Old Blind Joe shook like a dog to dry his fur and clothes and soaked Bill.

Bartholomew hit himself in the head to get the water out of his ears. Then, he shook his head, only to cause the water to slosh around. Finally, he stuck his finger in his mouth and blew hard, making the water comes shooting out of his ears.

Max couldn't see, so, he grabs the first thing he touched to dry his face off with. It happened to be Peewee Pet's vest. Fidget couldn't see either and grabbed Peewee Pete's shirt to dry off his face. This caused Peewee Pete to be lifted lift up off the ground. When Fidget and Max were done, they dropped the little mouse painfully on the ground.

"A fine bunch of waterlilies you turned out to be!" John said, still sitting on top of the barrel. Bill glared at him. "I'd like to see anybody make me wash, if I didn't wanna!"

"Hey!" snapped Bill. But then he calmed down a bit, cleared his throat, and motioned his friends to come. They were all gathered in a football-esque huddle. Bill whispered and pointed to John, who didn't seem to notice. Old Blind Joe looked up and slightly laughed. Bartholomew looked up, smiling at John, but Max reached up, grabbed his head, and dragged him back into the huddle.

Whistling, Bill, Old Blind Joe, Peewee Pete, Fidget, Bartholomew, and Max made their way to the barrel to surround John, who noticed that it was late.

"Get him!" Bill cried.

John tried to run away, but the others quickly grabbed onto his arms and legs. Now he was kicking and screaming while the other thugs carried him to the trough, while taking off his hat, vest, shoes, pants, and sweater. "Hey! Let go of me!" shouted the chubby mouse.

"Get him over to the tub!" cried Bill, "Get him over to the tub!"

"Let me loose, you fools! Let me loose!" shouted John (who was now naked).

"Get him up on the tub!" Bill continued crying, "Get him up! Hang onto him! Get him up on the tub! The tub, the tub! Don't get excited! Don't get--"

They managed to get him in, and, in the process, Bartholomew fell off of Max and rolled over with Bill. He landed with his arms around a dazed Bill's neck and looked up at him lovingly.

Bill pushed the drunk mouse off of him. "Get the soap!" he commanded, as Bartholomew nodded at Max while going to get the soap. But he tripped, got up, and quickly ran past the soap. He stopped, went back, and got it, but it slipped out of his hands ten times.

"Oh! Steady, boys!" Bill said to those who were holding the tortured mouse in the water.

The soap landed on Bartholomew's head and bounced off. He snuck up on it and pounced on it. That only caused it to slip out of his hands, bounce off of Peewee Pete's rear end, and go down Bartholomew's throat, nearly choking him, but it went straight down. "Did we have to use real soap?" he asked, feeling sick. Luckily, Bartholomew pretended not to notice the fact that he just swallowed an entire bar of soap and looked around for the missing soap. He couldn't find it of course. He hiccupped, and bubbles came out of his mouth. He kept looking around until he kept hiccupping bubbles again. He pat his stomach and felt the bar of soap. He kept hiccupping bubbles, feeling sicker and sicker.

During all of this, Bill, Old Blind Joe, Peewee Pete, Fidget, and Max were scrubbing John's face and laughing. Max washed his fur while Peewee Pete and Fidget held him down. Old Blind Joe scrubbed his forehead while Bill scrubbed his teeth. Bill began singing again, and the other thugs joined in.

Bill: Now scrub good and hard It can't be denied But he'll look mighty cute As soon as he's dried

Bill, Old Blind Joe, Peewee Pete, Fidget, and Max: Well, it's good for the soul And it's good for the hide To go--

John: "Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!"

Bartholomew was still hiccupping bubbles. He tried holding them in until he hiccupped so hard, sending his skyrocketing in the air. He hiccupped one last time, causing the last bubble to come out of his mouth, followed by his top hat, and pop, causing the hat to land back on his head. "Whew!" sighed the mouse, "I feel much better already."

By this time, Bill, Old Blind Joe, Peewee Pete, Fidget, and Max were tying blue ribbons in John's fur. "Ain't he sweet?" Bill smiled.

Max sniffed the chubby mouse. "Smells like a petunia." he said.

Old Blind Joe placed a wreath of flowers on John's head. "He sure is cute." he said.

"You'll pay dearly for this!" John snarled.

"Supper!" Olivia called to the thugs, banging the spoon against the cauldron.

"Supper!" Bill exclaimed happily.

"Food! Hurray!" Old Blind Joe, Peewee Pete, Fidget, Max, and Bartholomew cheered, as they ran back inside, dropping John into the trough.

"Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!" John screamed underwater. When he popped his head up out of the water, he sat up and pouted. "Humph!"