Nostalgia Critic - Rio

(We start off in H-E-Double Hockey Stick/Hell as the screams of the damned fill the air. Inside a red room is Satan (played by Malcolm Ray) looking at his phone before nodding to his assistant, who turns on the webcam to speak to the legions)

Assistant: Minions of Hell, (that makes the minions turn to face the monitor) I give to you the one and only master. The Lord of Darkness, Satan.

(A thunder clap is heard as Satan goes to take his seat)

Satan: My trembling subjects, for a while you've known that I kept the reveal of my daughter a secret. Well, no more. It's time for you to witness the true terror of the Antichrist. The horror of my offspring. The undeniable evil that will destroy what's left of your souls. (Another thunder clap) Behold, pitiful maggots, the fearsome face of darkness: Evilina.

(Coming in is Evilina (played by Rachel Tietz) wearing a tiara and a blue shirt with white polka dots.)

Evilina: (singing) It started when an alien device did what it did, (showing a crayon drawing of Ben Tennyson) And stuck itself upon his wrist with secrets that it hid, Now he's got super powers, he's no ordinary kid, He's Ben 10!

(This leaves the minions confused)

Assistant: Technical difficulties.

Evilina: Can I put it on the refrigerator pleasepleaseplease?

Satan: Be back in a few. (he goes to turn the camera off)

Evilina: Ben 10!

(And the camera goes off)

Satan: My princess of pestilence, what's wrong with you? This isn't the little hellspawn I raised!

Evilina: I love you. (she drapes a pink feather boa over her daddy's shoulders)

Satan: What is this fecal matter you call Ben 10? And what's all this talk about superheroes?

Evilina: I love them, daddy.

(Camera zooms in on Satan's scared face before turning and pointing)

Satan: Get me my wife on the phone!

(On Earth, we see someone trying to cut an apple with a pizza slicer. The woman's (also played by Rachel) phone rings and she picks it up)

Woman: Hello, Kim Kardashian.

Satan: What in the Hell have you done to our daughter!?

Kim: Look, all I know is that TV you've been showing her has resulted in her spinning her head and puking ecto cooler.

Satan: That's what she's supposed to do! She's the seed of evil!

Kim: So I decided to show her some more boys-only shows. Like Ben 10.

Satan: Ohh!

Kim: Superman.

Satan: Ohhhh!

Kim: Adventure Time.

Satan: Ohhh!

Kim: Ultimate Spider-Man.

Satan: Okay, that's not too bad.

Kim: And Batman.

Satan: (Disgusted) YOU WHORE OF NO VIRTUE! One more outbreak like this and I'll take away your artificial husband.

Kim: Actually, that's fine. I think the one you gave me is broken. (looking at her phone, there's a picture of Kanye West on it)

Satan: Oh no matter. It'll take something much more amazing to get our little girl back to normal.

Kim: Like what?

Satan: Oh I created something long ago. A children's film so good and fantasic, no man could stop it. Bring me.... Rio.

Kim: I got rid of it.

Satan: (Shocked) What!?

Kim: It got a bit too good for her. for her, so I threw it into the human world.

Satan: (Explodes in rage) CERBERUS'S NINE BALLS! YOU THREW IT INTO THE HUMAN WORLD?! Mankind is not ready for something so depraved. God help the poor soul who comes across that nightmare sadism.

Kim: Don't worry. I know some poeple who sure review it for you.

(And of course, those people are Annoying Orange, the crew of HISHE, the crew of Channel Awsome and Nostalgic Critic, who are having a drink while looking at the movie)

Nostalgic Critic: Well, if the moive is good we sould review it.

Pear: Yeah.

(The Opening appers)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgic Critic....

Annoying Organe: ....I'm Annoying Organe....

Daniel: ....I'm Daniel Baxter and this is the special review of a movie.

NC: Let's us ask you a something about film. If a movie is so bad and everybody hates it...then why is it still a big hit?