Villain's Pub (Gotham HISHE Bonus)

Plot
This is a short story that takes place in the "How Gotham Should've Ended" one-shot fanfiction. Rated: Fiction K - English - Parody/Humor - Words: 1,319 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: Nov 29 - id: 13442774

Transcript
Villains Pub (Gotham HISHE Bonus)

The villains pub music starts playing as the logo is being shown.

"Making your way evil today sure does take a lot. Thinking of ways to distribute hate takes everything you've got. Wouldn't you like to rule a place? Sometimes you wanna go. Where everybody hates your face. And the villains share your rage. You wanna be in the evil seat. Heroes are all the same. You wanna go where everybody hates your face."

The next scene shows Loki and Voldemort having a conversation at the bar in the villains pub. "So without any hesitation I quickly stole the Tesseract and used it to escape from the avengers before they could send me back to Asgard with my annoying brother Thor." Loki said "I'm surprised that no one actually saw you teleport away when you took the Tesseract."

Voldemort said

"They were all too distracted helping that dumb Tony Stark after he was having some kind of heart attack with his metal chest plate." Loki said

"Heroes are so annoying." Voldemort said

"Yes they are." Loki said

Loki and Voldemort notice that two other villains have entered the pub. It was none other than Penguin and the Riddler. The two villains sat at the bar and waited for the bartender to get them some drinks. Emperor Palpatine then approached the two villains and greeted them.

"Welcome to the villains pub, what can I get you two?" Palpatine asked

"Just a couple of beer for us." Penguin said

"Coming right up." Palpatine said

Palpatine then used the force to bring them there drinks. During that same moment Loki and Voldemort could tell that those two villains were very pissed off so they decided to talk to them about it.

"Hey why do you two look so angry?" Voldemort asked

"None of your business." Penguin said

"Come on it can't be that bad." Loki said

"Riddle me this, an opportunity is given, but yet it is a false promise. What could it be?" Riddler asked

"A revenge plot gone horribly wrong." Loki said

"Exactly." Riddler said

"I know how you feel, I've had my fair share of revenge schemes not always working out for me like I want them to." Voldemort said

"Oh please all you've been trying to do for the past few years was try to kill one person who manage to defeat you as a baby." Penguin said

"Hey, he was a magic baby and for your information I actually did manage to kill Harry Potter." Voldemort said

"Yeah, but you still loss in the end after he came back to life and killed you." Riddler said "Shut up." Voldemort said

"So how exactly did you two fail with your revenge plans?" Loki asked

"It all started when I was released from Blackgate prison after being locked up in there for 10 years. I then proceeded to get my revenge on Jim Gordon by having him kidnapped and brought to the docks so I can kill him." Penguin said

"I was in a similar situation I was locked up in Arkham Asylum for a decade and then all of a sudden a random security guard helped me escaped. I then woke up in a warehouse and someone left me a brief case filled with explosives that I can use for an evil plan. I assumed it was Penguin, because there was note that said it was him that orchestrated my escape. After that I decided to kidnap the mayor as a hostage and have the explosives strapped to him and have it be broadcast live on TV at the new Wayne Enterprises building." Riddler explained

"So what happened next?" Voldemort asked

"Just when I was about to kill Gordon at the docks this freak dressed like a bat came out of nowhere and beat me up." Penguin said

"I was attacked by a vigilante to, but it wasn't some guy dressed like a bat. Instead it was a woman dressed like a cat and she carrying some kind of leather whip. She beat me up and ruined my plan of blowing up the mayor with a bomb." Riddler said

"Wow that sucks." Loki said

"Yes we know it sucks." Penguin said

"So what happened next?" Voldemort asked

"After the vigilantes foiled our plans we got captured by the police, but thankfully we manage to escape and that's how we ended up here in the first place." Riddler said

"That is quite a story." Loki said

"I know right, I mean it was bad enough that we had to deal with the GCPD and now we have to focus on getting rid of these vigilantes." Penguin said

"More importantly we need to find out who they really are." Riddler said

"Or you could just concentrate on killing them instead of trying so hard to find out their secret identities." Loki said

"What do you mean?" Riddler asked

"I mean it's pretty obvious that your real problem is that you two don't always think things through with your plans." Loki said

"I agree with Loki." Voldemort said

"Are you kidding me?" Penguin asked

"No I'm not and you want to know why Penguin, because you let your ego get the best of you. You act like nothing will go wrong for you until it's too late." Loki explained

"That's ridiculous." Penguin said

"You have no right to criticize us." Riddler said

"Oh you're the one to talk Mr. I love using riddles for every evil plan." Voldemort said

"How dare you insult my riddles. I use riddles to challenge the citizens of Gotham in order to prove that I am smartest person in the city." Riddler said

"Yeah I get that, but you literally leave clues for the police to figure out what you're doing, which is pretty stupid when you think about it. I mean I thought he whole point of your riddles was to distract the police so that way they don't find out what your planning, but instead you do the exact opposite and let yourself get captured." Voldemort explained

"Screw you." Riddler said In that same moment Palpatine interrupt the conversation between the four villains.

"Hey, no fighting in the villain's pub." Palpatine said

"But they started it." Riddler said as he was pointing at both Loki and Voldemort.

"I don't care, if you and Penguin start causing trouble again I'll zap you both with my force lightning." Palpatine said

"That's not fair." Penguin said

"Well if you don't like it then go to some other villain's pub." Palpatine said

After the conversation was over Palpatine went to go serve the other customers at the bar. Loki and Voldemort left the bar to go hang out with some of the other villains in the pub that were playing pool.

"None of these other villains understand us." Penguin said

"You said it, those villains think they're so cool, because they see themselves more superior than the rest of us." Riddler said

"We'll show them that we're just as awesome as they are." Penguin said

"Yes indeed." Riddler

As Penguin and Riddler drank their beer they were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"You know it's funny I use to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realize it's a comedy." A random voice said

Penguin and Riddler turn around and find out that the person talking to them is Jeremiah Valeska. The insane man was wearing a purple suit with a green vest, a tie, and yellow gloves. He had red lipstick on his mouth and his whole face was pale white while also looking deformed due to the wrinkles on his skin. Not only that, but most of his hair was gone and there were only a few strands of it on his head and they are also green now.

"Uhh F%#k" Both Penguin and Riddler said

THE END