The Caucus Race (Alice version)

Alice floated through the tears in the bottle. The sun was rising and Alice could see what she had literally cried an ocean of tears. Just then, she heard someone singing. She turned and saw an unusual sight.

It was a black crow wearing a brown bowler hat, a red and white striped shirt, and a blue vest. He also wears light purple spats and he was carrying a cigar. His name was Jim Crow. He was riding on a yellow cab named Benny and another crow name Lil' Urle was pushing him through the sea. Jim Crow began to sing again:

Jim Crow: Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me

How I love to sail on the bounding sea

And I never, never ever

For the weather never ever does a thing for me

Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me

Tiddley-um (honks his beak twice) Da dum dee-dee

And I never, nev...

"...ahoy! And other nautical expressions! Land ho, by Jove!" the crow shouted.

Lil' Urle saluted him and said, "Where away, Jim Crow!"

"Jim Crow?" Alice said to herself.

"Three points to starboard," Jim Crow said. "Follow me, boys! Have you at port no time at all now, ha-ha! Oh!"

"Mr. Jim Crow," Alice called.

The two crows sail away, as he began to sing again:

Jim Crow: Jo-ho-ho

And a bottle of sea

We love each time...

"Please..." Alice called. "Please help me!" Just then, two men were riding on a boat. Their names were Jasper and Horace. "Um, pardon me, but, uh, would you minding helping me?" said Alice, but neither Jasper or Horace seemed to hear her. A canoe passed by. In it were three boys named Ed, Edd, and Eddy. Also in the boat were three animals named Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa. "Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Help me! Please! Help me!" she called. She stood up, causing the bottle to sink temporarily. "Help me!" Alice cried from underwater.

The bottle resurfaced and she saw a group of toons on the shore. Lil' Urle, Simba, Timon, Pumbaa, Jasper, Horace, Eddy, Ed, and Double D were all running around a rock. Jim Crow was on top of the rock and singing:

Jim Crow: Forward, backward, inward, outward

Come and join the chase!

All (except Alice): Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus race

Backward, forward, outward, inward

Bottom to the top

Never a beginning, there can never be a stop

(The water starts to rise again and Jim Crow lifts up his campfire to prevent it from going out.)

Jim Crow: To skipping, hopping, tripping

Fancy free and gay

I started it tomorrow and will finish yesterday!

(The water lowers and, surprisingly, the runners are completely dry.)

All (except Alice): Round and round and round we go

And dance forevermore

Once we were behind

But now, we find we are...

(Alice gets out of the bottle and a wave washes her to the beach.)

Forward, backward, inward, outward

Come and join the chase!

Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus race.

Jim Crow: Backward

Jim Crow suddenly saw Alice and said, as he used a cigar to breathe in and out, "I say! You'll never get dry that way!"

"Get dry?" asked Alice, as Lil' Urle bounced off her head.

"Of course, little girl!" Jasper shouted.

"You have to run with us, kid!" Timon shouted.

"First rule of the caucus race!" Double D added.

"But, how can I-?" Alice began, before she started to run.

"Now, that's more like it!" Pumbaa said.

"You'll be dry in no time!" Lil' Urle said.

"But no one can ever get dry this way!" Alice said.

"Nonsense!" Jim Crow said. I'm as dry as a bone already!"

"Yes, but-" Alice began, before a wave covered the group again.

Alic saw Cody washed up on the beach, riding in an umbrella. He turned it over and was drenched in water.

"Alright, boys! Lets head now! Look lively!" The crow said.

"The ten year old boy!" Alice exclaimed. "Mister Boy! Mi- Mister Boy!"

"Oh my goodness," Cody yelled, as he ran off into the woods. "I'm late! I'm late!"

"Oh, don't go away!" Alice shouted. 'I'll be right back!"

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Cody said.

As Alice ran after the boy, she could still hear the crow talking.

"Horace, don't step on the black bird!" Jim Crow shouted. "Double D, there won't you stop kicking Pumbaa! Eddy, Ed..."