User blog:RRabbit42/Sunset, part 1

Sunset part 1

“You passed the stables about eight miles ago.”

I nearly stumbled on the rock I was about to step over. Inwardly, I cursed. “It had to be you,” I muttered.

“What was that?”

I turned to face her. “Diane, this is my one day a week to be alone. It’s the one thing I’ve requested privacy on, no questions asked.”

“We know, Kenny. It’s just that when you come back, you’re happy. And yet, it’s a forced happiness, for our benefit, to hide a sadness that lurks just behind the smile. You’re not yourself during this time.”

I was stunned. If she could see this, how many others could? I knew that she had a strong sense of empathy. It had helped her in her training. She was well on her way to becoming our finest rider. At least, she would be our finest since.… Before I.....

“You’re sad again.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Does this have anything with the trophies with no name or the stall that’s always empty?” she asked.

There was no venom in that question, but I winced. She knew where to strike.

“It does.”

When I didn’t immediately elaborate, she prompted me, pointing at what I held. “Is that why you’re carrying them?”

“I use my day each week to remember a dear friend and to honor her wishes. These are part of those wishes.” I began walking again. Diane moved to my side.

“Kenny, from day one, you’ve stressed that honesty is paramount. You’ve quoted Callahan’s Law more times than I can count. ‘Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased.’ You’re always there for us when we’re hurt, be it emotionally or physically. You’re obviously in pain. Why have you never let us help you?”

We walked in silence for a while. She didn’t pressure me for an answer. I mulled this over. Should I ask for help, or should I continue to bear this burden alone? As we climbed another hill, I realized that we had arrived. The decision had been made for me. Maybe it was time to let them help.

“I lost her twelve years ago. On this day, in fact. She needed something I couldn’t give her. Something we should have seen. Something I should have seen.” Did I see it? Did I dismiss it, convince myself I was wrong? Doubts about what could have been were my constant companion on these days.

I continued. “She left. It was on that day that I realized I had failed her. We talked before she left, and I promised to do something and to take care of someone special. That’s her up ahead.”

Diane crossed her arms over her heart. “Oh, Kenny, she’s beautiful!”

On the crest of the next hill was a horse. When she saw us, she began trotting over, flicking her tail with excitement. She was a chestnut mare with a white forehead and similar colorations along her cannon and fetlock.

The mare slowed as she approached and stopped about ten feet away from us. She appeared to be looking Diane over, evaluating her. Diane was oblivious to the scrutiny. She was starstruck.

“Is she an Arabian? I’ve only seen pictures of them. Pictures don’t do the breed justice.”

“No, they do not. But this one is special. One of a kind.”

As if on cue, the horse got down on one knee momentarily, then stood back up.

Now Diane was stunned. “Did that horse just bow to me?”

“She did. I’ve told her all about you. She approves.”

“You’ve talked to the horse about me?”

“Yes, I’ve talked to her about all of you, but you’re the first to meet her. She’s my secret confidant in all things equestrian. How do you think we’ve won so many competitions?”

“I thought it was just the training. I mean, we’ve had some especially talented riders. And weren’t you considering me for...”

“I am. It’s now confirmed. You have her offical blessing. We’ll hold the ceremony next week.”

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you!”

“It isn’t me you have to thank. She knows you, but you haven’t introduced yourself. Here. I find this always is well received.”

I was watching the horse while I handed the carrots to Diane. Because she was looking at my hand, Diane didn’t notice the horse roll its eyes.

“What’s her name?” Diane asked. I showed her the stamp on the saddle. “That’s a lovely name. Very fitting. Oh! That’s the name on the stall! Why have I never seen her in there?”

“It’s always been ready for her. I’ve made sure of that. But she seems to prefer the outdoors. Fortunately, it doesn’t get very cold around here. I think she also feels that the stables are for the other horses, not her.”

“That’s a shame. She’d be welcome anytime.” She took a deep breath. “But anyway, to business. Here goes nothing.”

Diane stepped forward about six feet.. She bobbed in a small curtsey, then said, “Hello. I’m Diane Jacobs. I’m very pleased to meet you. Um, would you like a carrot?” She held one out, almost like a wand.

The mare gently bit into the carrot, pulling it out of Diane’s hand and proceeded to eat it. When Diane offered the rest, she just as daintily retrieved them one by one.

“Horses don’t normally eat like that, do they?”

“No,” I confirmed. “I told you, she’s special. Impeccable manners.” The mare whickered, but I could almost hear a chuckle hidden in there.

“Can I touch her? Her coat looks so luxurious.”

“Yes, go right ahead. In fact, she needs to be brushed. You take one side and I’ll take the other. You know what to do. You’ve it done often enough.”

“I never knew until now why you insisted on the extra emphasis. Don’t get me wrong, it made their coats look great. I just didn’t understand why that much was necessary.”

“It’s something I added to your regimen, something I thought would be appropriate for my promise.” The mare turned her head to look at me, seemed to accept it, then faced front again.

When we completed that task, I checked her hooves and verified the horseshoes were still secure. I put the blanket across her back and fitted her with the saddle. When I had made sure the bridle, bit and saddle were properly in place, I started to climb up, paused, then dismounted.

“Diane, would you like to ride her?”

“I don’t know, Kenny. It wouldn’t feel right.”

“It’s okay. She’s gentle. She won’t let you fall or get yourself into trouble.”

“If you’re sure…” she said dubiously.

“She’s sure. You’ll be fine. She’ll take care of you.”

Diane put her left foot in the stirrup and I helped lift her right leg so it would clear the croup. She seated herself in the saddle and took the reins. I gave her a few last pieces of advice.

“Give her a light hand. She knows the area better than you. Just sit up straight and enjoy the ride. If she wants to trot or run, let her and lean forward. Watch what she does, and lift yourself out of the saddle slightly as she moves. It will be easier on the backside if you learn to rise and match her rhythm, but you already know that.” Diane nodded and gave the reins a small flick. The mare headed out at a walk.

As they left, I sat down to watch. No one was better for horseback riding than this one.

Diane and the horse explored the surrounding area at an easy pace, never straying out of my sight. If they went behind a hill, they were back in view in no more than a few minutes. Soon, the mare switched to a trot. Diane had no problem adjusting.

Left to myself, the memories began flooding back. It was easy to keep them at bay when I was riding her. But here, in this place and temporarily alone, I had no such diversion.

Like I had told Diane, it had happened twelve years ago....

♦ part 2 ♦