How Two and a Half Men Should Have Ended

Transcripy
Berta, Alan, & Walden sat on the deck, smoking cigars, drinking scotch, & talking.

"I don''t know. I'd like to think we could be friends," Walden said to them.

Berta & Alan laughed. "Yeah right," Berta said.

It turns to seeing the helicopter flying, carrying a grand piano. It turns to the front door. Charlie walks up to the door & rings the doorbell. The piano crashes on top of him, then the camera turns off the sound stage to Chuck Lorre.

"Winning," he says & a piano crashes down on him.

It fades to see 2002 Charlie Sheen in deep though.

"Charlie," Chuck says.

"Hmm, Yeah?" he responds coming out of his thought.

"So, what do you think? You gonna do the show?"

"Yeah, I don't think so," he gets up from his chair & starts walking to the door.

"Why not? You play a drunken rich guy who has a brother that will perpetually never move out of his house after his wife throws him out."

"That sounds awful. Do you really think I'm the best pick for that? Nah. I've got tiger blood," he says then walks out.

"Huh. Alright. Let's call John Stamos. If he won't do it, Ashton Kutcher. He could use a kick in his career, that little punk," he says, dialing his phone.

Men...