Olive Hill: the Movie/Transcript

''[Car tyres screech to a halt outside. We see the Conley's silhouettes as the family make their way to the church door. Their conversation can also be heard.]''


 * Allen: Oh, come on. I hate being late!
 * Beavis: (chuckles) Uh..... when are we getting started?
 * Barney: [puts his hand on Beavis' shoulder] Take it easy, Beavis, You know church can't settle your life down.
 * Beavis: Do we want our town to be destroyed?
 * Barney: (unhappily) Of course not!
 * The Fried Dynamite Kid: Can't I worship the Lord in my own way, by praying like hell on my death bed?
 * Butthead: (chuckles) Uh.... Fried Dynamite Kid, they can hear you.
 * The Fried Dynamite Kid: Oh, relax, you blockhead! You know those dummies can't let everything happen while they're busy talking to their phoney-baloney God!
 * Shane: Here we are! [Breaks in the door with his arms open wide.] Welcome to the Boondocks, people! How do you do? I'm Shane Tackett! [The family enter the church to total silence and angry looks. They make their way to their pew.]
 * Shane: [waves at various people]How ya doin'? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus. [The family sit down next to David Waddell who is already there, playing with a Gameboy-like device and plays a game called 'POLICE KILLER'.]
 * Reverend: And this all of you people is how the story began about how Olive Hill was the number one town in the universe. And I know something dark will happen for all of you, people -- that you're really scared of something about the war coming today, unlike you guys being bullied but the staff considered that you might be afraid that one of you would have amnesia coaxed in your heart. Okay, any questions?
 * Christian:  (raising arm) Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
 * Reverend: (smiles nervously) Yes, Christian?
 * Christian: How does Lord pray for people?
 * Reverend: (laughs) Very funny, Rivers. Okay, if there aren't any questions, we'll take a lunch break, okay?