Shere Khan Gets a Bath

Downstairs, the pot in the fireplace was boiling rapidly. Minnie immediately got up, changed back into her blue dress, matching bow, and slippers and ran downstairs to it. She removed the lid from the pot, stirred it up, and tasted it.

Meanwhile the seven jungle cubs were peeking from the top of the banister where Kaa had stuck his head into a hole in it. They sniffed the air, breathed in deeply, sighed, and shouted, "Ahhhhh! Soup! Hurray!" Louie, Shere Khan, Baloo, Mungo, Bagheera, and Hathi, who were not stupid enough to stick their heads through the banister, ran to the table, each one stepping on Kaa's back. They were arguing over the food, each one wanting to be the first. "Wait for me! I'm coming too!" Kaa tried to follow them, but his head was in the banister. "Ugh! I can't--I mean--" After several bumps, his head finally popped through, and he flew backwards into the wall. "Here I come!" Aching from the pain, he slithered down the stairs, only to end up tumbling. He got up and quickly slithered to the table and into his chair, but his chair fell backwards, and he went rolling out of it. He stood up in his chair and sat down to join the argument. Soon, all seven jungle cubs were fighting over bread rolls and knocking Kaa out of his chair again. "Hey!" They were just about to bite into them when Minnie stopped them.

"Ah, ah, ah! Just a minute!" Minnie called to them. The jungle cubs stopped fighting and turned their heads to listen.

"Supper's not quite ready yet," said Minnie. "You'll just have time to wash."

"Wash?" Louie, Baloo, Mungo, Bagheera, Hathi, and Kaa questioned in wonder.

"Ha! I knew there was a catch to it!" Shere Khan grumbled, throwing down his spoon and crossing his arms in defiance.

"Why wash?" asked Bagheera.

"What for?" asked Baloo.

"We're not going anywhere, are we?" asked Kaa.

"It's not the New Year." said Louie, as Bagheera, Baloo, Hathi, and Kaa shook their heads.

"Oh, perhaps you have washed." Minnie smiled.

Louie pondered for a moment. "Perhaps we..." Then he remembered what Minnie meant. "Yes, perhaps we have!"

"But when?" asked Minnie, crossly putting her hands on her hips.

Louie kept waffling about when he and the other jungle cubs had already washed. "When? When? You said... Ah, last week, month, ye..., why, recently!" he finally said.

"Yes, recently!" said Baloo, Mungo, Bagheera, Hathi, and Kaa.

"Oh, really?" said Minnie. "Let me see your hands."

Louie, Baloo, Mungo, Bagheera, and Hathiplaced their hands promptly behind their backs backed up a bit. But Kaa only kept his tail on the floor, and Shere Khan his arms defiantly.

"Let me see your hands!" demanded Minnie.

Finally, Louie held out his filthy hands.

"Why, Louie! I'm surprised!" exclaimed a shocked Minnie. Louie giggled bashfully and his hands once again.

Minnie looked at Bagheera. "Come on. Let's see them." Bagheera held out his paws as well. "Oh, Bagheera, my, my, my..." The panther cub blushed and hid his paws again.

Then she looked at Hathi. "And you?" Hathi held out his hooves, and Minnie tsked at the sight.

Baloo rubbed his hands on his legs and held them out for Minnie to inspect. "Worse than I thought." Minnie said sadly.

Kaa held out his filthy tail. "Oops!" he said, as Minnie laughed, making him drop his tail.

Finally, Mungo held out his paws. Minnie gasped at the sight of his filthy paws. "Oh! How shockin'!" Mungo quickly hid his paws.

"Goodness me! This won't do at all!" said Minnie.

Shere Khan looked at his paw and angrily shoved it back down.

"March straight outside and wash or you're not gonna get a bite to eat!" Minnie ordered the jungle cubs.

Sadly, the jungle cubs, other than Shere Khan, looked at Louie, who nodded and led them outside the open door, whose doorknob was remarkably fixed!

Naturally, Kaa was not looking where he was going and slithered straight into the wall on the wrong side of the door. He runs out and around the door to the outside while most of the cast has trouble containing their laughter.

Toad says, "Eh," and turns to glare at the wall again. "What's the matteh?" Rogue asks. "Cat gotcha tongue?" Toad, looking shocked at such a statement, sticks his very long tongue out at her and proceeds to march straight into the door. Rogue laughs, "Aw, did ya hurt yourself?" "Hmph!" Toad answers and marches outside, slamming the door. He sits on a barrel and grabs a wheat stalk and sticks it in his mouth. "Eh, women!" "Courage, men, courage," Beast tells the mini-mutants. "Don't be nervous." Toad watches as they approach the horse trough. They peer at the water nervously. Kitty sticks her finger in it, "Gosh, it's, like, wet!" Tabby sticks her finger in it too. She quickly pulls it out with a "Brrr!" She shakes, "it's cold too!" Kurt speaks up, "Ve ain't gonna do it, are ve?" "Well," Hank says, "It would please the Princess." "I'll, like, totally take a chance for her!" Kitty says. "Me too," says Tabby, Kurt, and Jean. Scott suddenly starts having a seizure and must be tied down. "Hmph," Toad says from his barrel, "her wiles are beginning to work, yo! But I'm warning you, you give them an inch, they'll walk all over you!" "Don't listen to that old warthog!" Hank says to the other shrunken mutants. "Hey! That not nice, yo!" Toad complains. "It's in the script!" Beast says, sighing, "Come one now, men!" Tabby scrunches up her nose, "how hard do you scrub?" "Will it hurt?" Jean asks. "Do you, like, get in the tub?" Kitty asks. "Do you have to vash vhere it doesn't show?" Kurt asks. "Now, don't get excited," Hank tells them. "Here we go! Step up to the tub. It ain't no disgrace. Just pull up your sleeves and pin them in place. Then, scoop up the water and rub it on your face and go, 'Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!' Pick up the soap. Now, don't try to bluff." They all pick up the soap, besides Toad, of course, who is still sitting on the barrel. They work up a lather in their faces. Beast continues. "Work up a lather, and when you got enough, get your hands full of water and you snort and you snuff and you go, 'Brrr! Brrr! Brrr'!" Then, he starts to sing. In the meantime, the IAR fly that bothered Jean before makes it's return by buzzing around Jean's head. Then it lands on the soap and starts scrubbing. "Bunch of old nanny goats! You make me sick, going, 'Brrr! Brrr! Brrr'!" Toad hollers at them. Beast then takes a floor scrubbing brush and scrubs Tabby's, Kitty's, Kurt's and Jean's heads. He tries to scrub Evan's, but Spyke ducks. He keeps trying to avoid the brush and Beast gets mad and knocks him into the trough with it. "Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!" Evan shouts from under the water, kicking his feet frantically. Click, goes Pietro's camera. Beast, then, scrubs Evan's butt with the brush instead. Pietro takes another picture. While Evan is barely able to drag himself out of the water,Toad is still making fun, "Ha! Next thing ya know she'll be tying your hair up in pink ribbons and smelling you up with that stuff called perfume!" He spits out the chewed part of the wheat stalk as if it were tobacco. "And just what it wrong with pink ribbons!" Tabby says glaring. "Yeah!" Kitty says. "Everything!" Raven growls. "Now stick to the script before I give you nightmares so bad that you can never look at a pink hair ribbon again!" The mutants go back to washing. Beast is drying his glasses carefully when Kitty shakes like a dog to dry her hair and soaks both him and his glasses. Spyke hits himself in the head to get the water out of his ears. Then, he shakes his head and hears water sloshing around. "Guess his head's that empty," Logan says, trying to hide a chuckle. "Sadly, yes," Storm answers. "Auntie O!" Evan cries out. "Well, you can't expect me to lie about such a thing!" Ororo protests. "As much as we all could listen to Evan's shortcomings all day. . ." Raven says. "Let's get on with the play," Lightning finishes. Evan, glaring at his aunt, sticks his finger in his mouth and blows. The water comes shooting out. "Funny how that didn't take any special effects. . ." Forge mutters. Tabby can't see, so, she grabs the first thing she touches to dry her face off with. It happens to be the back of Jean's undershirt. Kurt can't see either and grabs the front of Jean's top shirt to dry off his face. This causes Jean to lift up off the ground. When they're done, they drop her painfully on the ground. "A fine bunch of waterlilies you turned out to be, yo!" Toad says to them from his barrel. Beast glares at him. "I'd like to see anybody make me wash, if I didn't wanna!" "We'd all like to see that!" Lance shouts from off stage. "And you will, if you stop interrupting!" Raven growls. Toad whimpers. Hank clears his throat and motions for the others. They gather in a football-esque huddle. Beast whispers and points at Toad, who doesn't seem to notice. Kitty looks up and laughs. Evan looks up and smiles dumbly. Kitty reaches up and grabs his head and drags him back into the huddle. Whistling, they make their way to surround Toad, who notices to late. "Get him," Hank says calmly. Toad tries to hop away, but he is held in place by Raven's telekinesis and the others quickly grab onto his arms and legs. He is kicking and screaming. "Help! Help! Don't do this! The water will kill me! Help!" Raven shrugs, it's not in the script, but it works. "Get him to the tub!" Beast cries, "Get him to the tub!" They start carrying him towards the horse trough. "Let me loose, you fools!" Toad hollers, "Let me loose!" "Get him up into the tub!" Beast orders, "get him over in the dub, tub! Don't get excited!" They manage to get him in and in the process, Evan falls and rolls over onto Beast. He lands with his arms around Beast's neck and he looks up at him lovingly. Beast pushes him off and orders through clenched teeth, "Get the soap!" Then he runs off stage and throws up. They pause the cameras until he returns. "I'm sorry about that," he says to Raven and Lightning. "No worries, we'd have done the same thing," Raven says. Lightning nods in agreement. The play continues, as Evan nods at Beast and goes to get the soap. But he trips and gets up and runs past the soap. He stops, goes back and gets it, but it slips out of his hands ten times. "Steady, men," Beast says to those who are holding the tortured Toad in the water. The soap lands on Evan's head and bounces off. He sneaks up on it and pounces on it. That only causes it to slip out of his hands and bounce off of Jean's butt and down Evan's throat, nearly choking him, but it goes down. "Did we have to use real soap?" he asks, feeling sick. Raven's eyes glow yellow and Lightning answers. "Once again, Evan, you have a non-speaking part! Don't talk!" "Sheesh, never mind," he groans, really feeling sick. He pretends not to notice the fact that he just swallowed an entire bar of soap and looks around for the missing soap. He can't find it of course. He hiccups and bubbles come out of his mouth. He keeps looking around until he hiccups bubbles again. He pats his stomach and feels the bar of soap. He keeps hiccuping bubbles and feeling sicker and sicker. During all of this the others are scrubbing Toad's face and laughing. Tabby washes his hair. Kurt and Jean hold him down. Kitty scrubs his forehead and Beast scrubs his teeth. They are all singing. Evan is still hiccuping bubbles. One hiccups is so hard that his shirt comes up over his head and the bubble lifts his hat. The bubble pops and the hat lands on his head. By this time they are tying blue bows into Todd's hair. "Ain't he sweet?" Beast says. Tabby sniffs and says, "Smells like a petunia." Kitty places a wreath of flowers in his hair and announces, "He sure is cute." "You'll pay dearly for this!" Toad screams, meaning ever word. Rogue taps the spoon against the pot and calls out, "Suppeh!" "Supper!" Beast says happily. "Food! Hurray!" the others says, dropping toad in the trough and making Scott squirm against the bonds that hold him to the floor. "Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!" Toad screams. When he sits up he says, "Hmph!"