Becoming Female

Becoming Female is a Harry Potter fanfic written by Venus God. It has been described as My Immortal with "sexists" in place of "preps".

General Information

 * Title: Becoming Female
 * Author(s): Venus God
 * Genre(s): Romance/Humor
 * Date of Publication: March 16, 2010
 * Rating: T
 * Status: Complete

Characters

 * Crystal Potter (formerly Harry Potter) - The protagonist of the story and, needless to say, a gigantic Mary Sue. She dates Draco and spends most of the story acting like a stupid fangirl.
 * Draco Malfoy - A handsome, heroic gentleman who bears no resemblance to his canon self.
 * Ron Raper (formerly Ron Weasley) - Ron is "sexist". This is literally his whole personality now.
 * Albus Dumbledore - A good guy, but a total ninny. He becomes a nudist halfway through the story and starts going around naked all the time, but this is considered okay because his beard is long enough to cover his "private wahoo".
 * Gilderoy Lockhart - The new Herbology teacher and some kind of perfect superhero who apparently really did do all the things he said he did in his books. Crystal thinks he looks exactly like Robert Pattinson.
 * Sirius Black - Returns from the dead wearing a Twilight T-shirt and is promptly hired to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, but the subject drifts and he eventually renames the class "Flirting 101".
 * Pansy Raper (formerly Pansy Parkinson) - A "slut" whom is Ron's girlfriend and eventual wife.
 * Parvati and Lavender - A pair of "sluts" whom Crystal hates for no reason.
 * Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Padma - Crystal's friends. Don't have much personality beyond being an echo chamber for her.
 * Lucius Malfoy - Draco's "sexist" father. Lucius works for Ron of all people, at one point greeting him with "I bow before you, my sexist master!"
 * Ludo Bagman: Briefly replaces Gilderoy as Herbology teacher. After Bagman gambles away the money he was supposed to use put on a talent show, it's concluded that he's "retarded" and he's sent away to St. Mungo's.

Sequel and Jokegirl war
There was a sequel called Being Female, but it was deleted at some point. During the writing of the sequel, Venus God got into an Internet war with someone named "Jokegirl". Jokegirl was a regular reviewer, who repeatedly accused Venus God of being a troll while hilariously leaving exactly the sort of flame reviews a troll would want.

In chapter 12, Venus God inserted Jokegirl into the story, portraying her as a fat cheerleader in need of a lobotomy. Jokegirl retaliated by rounding up several of her friends to flame the story. Venus God decided that all of Jokegirl's friends were sock puppets. It later turned out that Jokegirl actually was using a sock puppet, unfortunately lending credibility to Venus God's insanity. To make matters worse, Jokegirl's sock puppet had commented sarcastially on wanting to be inserted into the story too, causing Venus God to conlude that Jokegirl was only flaming because she wanted more appearances in the story. Jokegirl mostly gave up at this point while Venus God went on to accuse anyone who hated the story of being a Jokegirl sock puppet.

The sequel was later reposted, though without the reviews we can only see Venus God's side of the feud. Jokegirl later changed the name on her account to, according to Venus God, "something stupid." The current identity of Jokegirl is unknown.