Lucifer Welcomes Osama bin Laden

The US Navy Seals killed Osama bin Laden and dumped his body into the Indian Ocean. His soul went down to Hades. Lucifer met him at Hades' gate. Lucifer said "I've been waiting for you!" Osama said "Where is Heaven and my 86 virgins?" Lucifer said "There's none of that nonsense down here. You will not find a single virgin, let alone 86 of them." Osama said "What? That cannot be!" Lucifer said "Enough of this bull poppy! Take your shovel and head to the furnace of Hades and shovel coal into it!" Osama said "No way, man! You can kiss my Arab butt!" Lucifer reached out with his trident shaped pitchfork and zapped Osama in the butt with blue lightning. Osama said "Ouch! Knock it off!" Lucifer said "I said get to work!" and he zapped Osama again and again. Osama said "All right! All right! I get it!" Osama took his shovel and headed to the furnace of Hades. He looked around the room and saw Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein, Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, Genghis Khan, Gaddafi, and Hirohito all shoveling coal. Idi Amin said "None of us have had a break or rest since we got here!" Osama said "That sucks whale poop!" Hitler said "Well, get used to it!" Mussolini said "You're not going to win or escape from this place! Keep on working and you will be left alone! Screw up or rest and pain will find its way to you!" So Osama started shoveling coal. Hirohito said "Osama!" Osama said "What your butt want?" Hirohito said "You're going to be here for an eternity, so accept it and get on with your afterlife existence!" Osama said "I have no choice!" Everyone said "No, you don't!"