Lisa Ukume

BIOS
eXtreme seXy eXplosion:

Having immigrated to London from Nigeria at only 20 years old to pursue a double career in modelling and acting, Lisa has been in a number of romantic dramas, with some having fared well with film critics and others, not so much. With the release of her newest movie, "The Difference of Color," drawing near, Lisa enters the eXtreme seXy eXplosion as part of her campaign for it to be nominated for and win at least one special award.

X-CITERS
Scorpion Kick: Lisa stands on her hands and delivers a backwards kick to the opponent's head, knocking them down if it connects. Also useful as an anti-air move. Meter Burn increases the damage and range of the kick. (Clothes Destroy: No)

Handstand Helicopter: Lisa stands on her hands and does a spinning handstand kick with both hands, travelling towards her opponent as she does so, for two hits total if it connects. Meter Burn increases the range of the attack for three hits total. (Clothes Destroy: No)

Capoeira Cartwheel: Lisa does a multi-hitting aú cartwheel kick that does two hits total if it connects. On Meter Burn, she also does a powerful chapa de costas kick which launches her opponent into the air for a free hit. (Clothes Destroy: No if normal; yes if Meter-Burned)

Negativa: Lisa crouches down and performs a negativa that allows her to easily evade crouching attacks. Cannot be Meter-Burned. (Clothes Destroy: No)

XXX-PLOSION ATTACK
British Capoeira Queen: Lisa freezes in mid-fighting stance, then does a low capoeira sweep, followed by a few Lynx Tail-like kicks that cause her opponent to juggle for four hits total and an upwards handstand kick that launches them into the air, during which she declares, "These are the techniques..." Next, while the character on the receiving end of the XXX-Plosion attack is still airborne, the immigrant model-actress does three queixada kicks, the first with the right or left leg, the second with the left or right, and finally, the third with the right or left leg again, during which she continues, "That were developed by slaves from Mother Africa!" She then finishes off with a powerful chapa giratoria kick that sends the opponent flying through the air and knocking them down on the arena floor. (Clothes Destroy: Yes)

WIN QUOTES
(mirror match) Are you sure you're not an actress cast to play me in a biopic about my life?

(vs. Pua) Oh, it's so nice to meet a fan of mine! ♥ The more, the better.

(vs. Emi) Sorry, I'm not branching out into the action genre. I normally only do romance films.

(vs. Mingzhu) Well, since you asked nicely, sure, I'll come grab a bite at your workplace.

(vs. Papillon) You know, I've been thinking about doing some filming in your country lately.

(vs. Jay Bailey) I don't think your insulting attitude is going to get you far in life.

(vs. Antonia) I understand how much of a pain having kids to raise can be.

(vs. Shahrzad) It's good to see you do some good for your country after all it's been through.

(vs. Maria) So, you fight to help the zoo you work at? I, too, am an advocate against animal cruelty.

(vs. Trudy) You certainly, completely erode negative stereotypes of rich people. Marvelous, I say!

(vs. Honua) Most of the male leads I've worked with had muscles as strong and perfect as yours.

(vs. Kwang) I see you've decided to take up football. It's quite a popular sport where I live.

(vs. Muriel) Not to sound mean, but the '80s are over. Have you considered a wardrobe change?

(vs. Ailis) Please don't assassinate me. I'm not your assigned target.

(vs. Camila) You kind of remind me of a certain other Spanish fencer... Inigo What's-His-Name?

(vs. Olga) You look the same as another "swan princess," and your name also begins with the same letter as hers! ♥

(vs. MaX) Surely you know what being a victim of sexual misconduct does to an actress' career.

(vs. Athena) I'm dreadfully sorry to hear about the poor state of the economy where you live.

(vs. Jae-sang) It's amazing how technologically advanced the East is compared to Europe.

(vs. Feramulher) Your manners are quite unbefitting of a proper lady.

(vs. Seireen) You don't seem OK to me. Should I call the police? An exorcist, maybe?

(vs. Elisabeta) While I absolutely despise gun violence, it's good to see you put yours to good use fighting demons.

(vs. Nkosazana) Fighting you was tough, but at least it gave me a chance to connect with my African roots.

(vs. Zoe) I see no bad blood between the Aborigines and you, despite your people taking their land long ago.

(vs. Valerie) No, I've never suffered an on-set injury before. Why do you need to ask that?

(vs. Pizza Girl) Do you have any healthy, thin-crust options? I'm trying to watch my weight.

(vs. Qingmei) Whoever this "Hodari Jasiri" is, I'm pretty sure he knew an ancestor of mine from the pre-colonial era.

(vs. Jodiana) You live underwater, you say? I have already done a kiss scene there once before.

(vs. Maggie) No, I'm not in league with this "Big Henry," but I heard he died in a prison fight earlier this year.

(vs. Rita) I fight like Michelle Francis, you say? They say, "Blacks have to stick together," so I suppose I should meet her.

MISC. INFO
Voice Actress: Estelle (Steven Universe)

Stage: Red Carpet Premiere

Rival: Bao Mingzhu

Clothes Destroy Animation: Her dress explodes into what looks like a hip-baring one-piece swimsuit, and her shoes also explode, leaving her barefooted.

Intro Sequence: Lisa arrives to the arena in a black limousine, then exits the vehicle, which then drives away. She then proceeds to sexily walk into the fight, gyrating her hips as she does so, saying, "This'll be quite the scene," then goes into her fighting stance.

Round Win Sequence: Lisa does two queixada kicks, one with the right or left leg and the other with the left or right leg, asking, "Let's do another take, shall we?", and goes into her fighting stance again.

Outro Sequence: Lisa freezes in mid-fighting stance for a few seconds, then does two banda kicks, one to the right or left and one to the left or right, followed by a right or left armada kick, and lastly, the sequence freezes on her as she does a jumping 270° clockwise or counter-clockwise queixada kick.

PROLOGUE
(We first cut to a panoramic landscape of downtown London, where the Big Ben and London Bridge can easily be seen, at daytime, with some traditional Nigerian tribal music playing throughout.)

Lisa: (narrating) This is London. This is where I've lived since I came here from Nigeria when I was only 20. (In the second mid-narration cut, Lisa can be seen in her battle outfit on a runway, strutting her stuff for, and being cheered on by, everyone present in the audience.)

Lisa: (narrating) I'm a runway model, always showcasing and looking good in the latest fashion trends.

(The third and final mid-narration cut has us flash back to the 2009 filming of one of Lisa's past movies, the romantic drama, "One Last Chance," where she, in just a pair of black intimate wear that exposes her midriff and ample breast cleavage, does a romantic scene with a hot male British Caucasian actor, who is shirtless with a pair of dark grey dress pants for the scene, which a director is seen shooting, and during which a mildly-depressing piano score is heard, the man hovers over Lisa as she lies flat on her back on an antique-style bed in a mansion bedroom.)

Lisa: (narrating) And, in addition, I'm also a film actress. Romance is my genre of choice, and I especially enjoy doing romantic dramas.

Hot Male Co-Star (as the male ex-lover): Although the strain in our relationship, Susan, as well as your family's objections to you dating a white man, has caused us to break up, to live separate lives and separate careers, I am still conflicted about whether I should ignore this pain you caused in my heart or not.

Lisa (as Susan, the female ex-lover): Then why don't we give this love... one last chance before you leave and we never see each other again?

Hot Male Co-Star: All right. If you wish it.

(Then, as her co-star wraps his arms around her waist and grips her round, juicy butt with his right hand, Lisa takes him by the right side of his face with her left hand and the back of his neck with her right, drapes her bare legs over him, and softly kisses his lips twice, then they start passionately kissing, which goes on for seven seconds, during which Lisa runs her lighter-colored right palm across the back of her "ex-lover's" neck and moans into his mouth and the piano score continues to play.)

Director: And.... cut! That was simply perfect, I won't lie.

(We're then taken to the talent agency in London, where Lisa is speaking with her agent.)

Talent Agent: Ms. Ukume, something came in the mail for you. (hands Lisa an red wax-sealed envelope) Would you care to open it for me, please?

Lisa: Sure. I hope I find out what's in it... Something important, maybe? (opens the envelope, then reads the letter it contains) "Ms. Ukume, you have been cordially invited to compete on my show/fighting tournament, eXtreme seXy eXplosion. Sincerely, yours truly, MaX eXXposure!"

Talent Agent: Wait... You've been invited to a fighting tournament? I wouldn't want to see any of my film actors badly hurt, now would I?

Lisa: Definitely not.

Talent Agent: Well, whatever the case, take care out there. ...Also, you only have a few more days left before the release of your newest film, "The Difference of Color."

Lisa: Got it.

(We then cut to Lisa being driven to an airport in a hackney carriage and nearing her destination.)

Lisa: (narrating) Well... Here's hoping I bring home the award gold after this tournament and the release of my new film.

RIVAL BATTLE - vs. Bao Mingzhu
(Cut to a beachside arena in California, surrounded by log fencing and marble statues of bikini-clad women, with several people, men making up the majority, in attendance, standing on wooden bleachers, where Lisa and Mingzhu stand a foot away from each other, looking at each other.)

Announcer: All right, dudes and dudettes (well, mostly dudes, considering that this is a dudette vs. dudette fight), the match you are about to watch is the last one before the winner goes off to face the tournament host, MaX eXXposure! (the audience cheers) So, without further ado... (motioning to Lisa as she enters) On the left side is, originally from Lagos, Nigeria, now residing in London, England, the silver-screen seductress, Lisa Ukume! (motioning to Mingzhu as she enters) On the right side is, from Beijing, China, the "Dragon Waitress," Bao Mingzhu!

Lisa: Have you come to ask for an autograph?

Mingzhu: Actually, méiyŏu (no), but I've come to ask... Maybe you'd like to come to the restaurant where I work? You could try our dim sum!

Lisa: Yes, sure, I could do that. (going into her fighting stance) I would advise saving it for after this fight, though.

Mingzhu: I knew you'd be one of our last customers before the place gets bulldozed... (goes into her fighting stance as well) which I won't let happen!

FINAL BOSS BATTLE - vs. Max eXXposure
(After the fight, a badly-beaten Mingzhu is down on one knee and one hand.)

Lisa: Normally, I'm not much of an action actress, but fighting you was quite exhilarating, to say the least.

Mingzhu: I can't believe... that I had to fight a famous actress... This is going to haunt me forever.

Lisa: Oh, there's no need for regrets. (helping Mingzhu up) You did fight well against me, I'll admit.

Mingzhu: Well, xièxiè (thanks), I guess. You weren't so bad yourself.

Lisa: (appreciatively hugging Mingzhu, who accepts) I'm very glad you think so, dear. Now, if you'll excuse me... (she and Mingzhu let go of each other) I've got to go see... (Lisa walks off) if the tournament host will help me get nominated for my new film.

Mingzhu: All right. Zhù nĭ hăoyùn! (Good luck!)

(Cut to the eXtreme seXy eXplosion live show stage, three seconds later.)

MaX: (appearing on stage) What do you need to get John and Yoko back together? One more bullet!

Audience: (off-screen) BOOOOOO! (they start throwing Beatles memorabilia at MaX)

MaX: Great to have you on my show, Miss Ukume. (takes Lisa's hand and kisses her there as a welcome greeting) Now, THAT'S a real chocolate beauty I'm seeing here today! I think I might be catching jungle fever.

Lisa: That's exactly what some of the male leads I've worked with said prior to filming their scenes with me.

MaX: They say, "once you go black, you never go back," and that's exactly, and undoubtedly, why you were invited to compete by me, MaX eXXposure, host of this reality show, slash fighting tournament!

Lisa: Yes, and I have only a few more days before the release of my newest film, "The Difference of Color," which is, basically, a mix of 12 Years a Slave and Romeo and Juliet.

MaX: If you beat me and win eXtreme seXy eXplosion, you can have your ten-million-dollar prize to do just that! If you lose, however, you're gonna be mine forever!

Lisa: Yours forever? Look, I'm not interested in any involvement with sexually-inappropriate men like you, Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, or Louis C.K.. I mean, you don't want to end up like them, do you?

MaX: When I win and make you my bed buddy, ours is gonna be a sex scene worthy of an Oscar!

Lisa: It seems I have no choice but to spoil this final battle for you. (goes into her fighting stance) You're going to spend until you die of old age without a girl to shag!

MaX: You know what? If you're gonna reject my hanky-panky offer... (going into his fighting stance as well) there's nothing I can't do to change your mind!

ENDING
(After the fight, a badly-beaten MaX is down on one knee and one hand.)

Lisa: So... What happens now? Is my dream of being nominated for and winning an award for my new film finally realized?

MaX: (handing Lisa a check for $10,000,000) A-all right, fine. Take the prize money you wanted. You're gonna need it more than I do.

Lisa: (taking the check) Oh, I could never be more thankful for this opportunity. Film awards, here I come!

(Cut to inside a movie theater auditorium in London, where Lisa's new movie, "The Difference of Color," in which she plays an African-American slave named Bella in the Antebellum South, is seen playing. Among the people seeing the movie are the Kameāloha sisters, Emi, Mingzhu, Papillon, Antonia, Shahrzad, Maria, Trudy, Muriel, Kwang, Camila, and Olga, as well as hidden characters Athena and Jae-sang, pre-order bonus character Feramulher, and DLC characters Elisabeta, Nkosazana, Zoe, Valerie, and Pizza Girl, all in their casual wear, which includes shirts of varying sleeve lengths that have logo designs and/or slogans that best suit their character on them, in a manner reminiscent of the Disney Princesses in the upcoming Ralph Breaks the Internet. Some of the audience members have popcorn and drinks with them.)

White British Actor Playing Antebellum South Farmhand: Ya know, Bella, I have always done loved you, despite the attempts of the barrier of race an' color to keep us apart.

Lisa (as Bella, with a thick Southern accent): Yes, my master, with mountains of dough to his name, who runs the local sugar plantation, forbids this love. However, as much difficulty as you an' I see in changin' what has done been written in the stars, it appears to me that you an' I are destined to be together forever. (she and the actor playing the farmhand then wrap their arms around each other and kiss to a rousing, Oscar movie-style orchestral score)

BRITISH PERSONS' ACHIEVEMENTS IN FILM AND TELEVISION AWARDS (BPAFTA), LONDON, ENGLAND, THREE MONTHS LATER

(We then cut to a lavish theater auditorium, which houses what looks like an Oscar awards stage, and where the BPAFTA 2018 award ceremony is taking place. Among the formally-dressed people in attendance are, again, the Kameāloha sisters, Emi, Mingzhu, Papillon, Antonia, Shahrzad, Maria, Trudy, Muriel, Kwang, Camila, Olga, Athena, Jae-sang, Feramulher, Elisabeta, Nkosazana, Zoe, Valerie, and Pizza Girl, all of whom have formal dresses on.)

Ian McKellen (voiced by Tom Kane): And the British Persons' Achievements in Film and Television award for Best Actress goes to... Lisa Ukume, for "The Difference of Color!" (handing the Best Actress award trophy to Lisa the very moment she steps onto the stage) Congratulations, Miss Ukume.

Lisa: (taking the award) Thank you, thank you. (speaking in front of the people in attendance) This has been a great opportunity for me, and I would like to thank all of you for it. No special event in my life could make me happier. In fact, being nominated for, and eventually winning, a film award is much greater an opportunity for any woman of any race than one can possibly imagine, and I have so many people to thank, my fans, for being there to support me in my quest to win an award for my newest film, and the critics, for liking it so much, they thought that the man who directed it could easily be the next Jordan Peele or Ryan Coogler, as well as the other women I battled and subsequently befriended in the eXtreme seXy eXplosion fighting tournament and my parents and cousins back home in Nigeria, being among them.

(Meanwhile, a now-incarcerated MaX sits in contempt as he is forced to watch the BPAFTA awards in prison. Then, back at the award ceremony, the crowd watching Lisa's award acceptance speech are so impressed that they stand up and clap in applause.)

(Cut to pre-credits roll, where Bomb Factory's "Deadly Silence Beach" starts playing starts playing as we are treated to short animations of all the characters, shown in full-body, in their home stages, with the names of their voice actors/actresses on their left or right. Afterwards, the credits start rolling and the song continues playing.)

DID YOU KNOW?

 * Estelle, Lisa's assigned voice actress, is best known for voicing Garnet in the TV cartoon, Steven Universe.
 * The recent sexual misconduct accusations against ex-film producer Harvey Weinstein and entertainers Kevin Spacey and Louis C.K. are lampooned in her final boss dialogue.
 * If you look closely enough at Pua and friends' Ralph Breaks the Internet-inspired casual wear when they see Lisa's new movie, "The Difference of Color," in her ending, you can see the following artworks and/or slogans on the girls' tops: a surfboard in front of Kahanamoku Beach (Pua), Koneko no Senshi's cat mask (Emi), a red Chinese dragon with Mingzhu's hairstyle with the Chinese characters "龍女服務員" ("Dragon Waitress") below (Mingzhu), a blue and purple butterfly (Papillon), Antonia's gloves with the words "Sock-'Er Mom" below them (Antonia), an MPT-9 machine gun crossed with one of Shahrzad's sickles in front of Dasht-e Lut with the kanji "軍事のくノ一" ("Military Kunoichi") below it (Shahrzad), the Filipino flag on Maria's whole tanktop, the NYC skyline with "$$$" above it and lots of American dollar banknotes below it (Trudy), Muriel's face on what looks like the cover of Muriel Dacq's "Tropique" album (Muriel), Honua's muscled torso with the words "Island Muscle Goddess" in front of it (Honua), the Bangkok Elephants women's soccer team logo (Kwang), Camila's rapier in front of the Spanish flag colors (Camila), Olga's swan-wing eyeshadow with the Cyrillic script "Лебединая Принцесса" ("Swan Princess") under it (Olga), Athena's shield in front of her xiphos and spear (Athena), Jae-sang's tech visor with the hanja "서울 기술" ("Seoul Tech") under it (Jae-sang), Feramulher's clawed hands out with the words "Besta de Selva" ("Jungle Beast") below them (Feramulher), a Catholic cross with Elisabeta's guns crossed over it and the words "Demon Vânătoarea" ("Demon Huntress") in front of it (Elisabeta), the words "MMA Africa" with yellow African triangle designs to the left and right of it (Nkosazana), Zoe's Aboriginal tribal face paint in front of her oversized boomerang (Zoe), the Red Cross symbol instead of a maple leaf inside the Canadian flag (Valerie), and a slice of pepperoni pizza with the words "Delivering Cali Style!" in front of the bottom of it (Pizza Girl).