Jack Spicer's Great Adventure

Jack Spicer beamed aboard Spaceball One, the pride of Empress Wuya's Imperial forces! His mission was to find the self-destruct button and activate it! Jack left his children Darry and Kaylee aboard his ship! Jack began to look for the self-destruct button!

On the bridge of Spaceball One, Colonel Sandurz, the commander of Spaceball One, informed Dark Helmet that there was an intruder on the ship! The Dark Schwartz Lord informed Empress Wuya of this! Empress Wuya dispatched Chase Young to kill Jack Spicer!

Jack found the self-destruct button and was just about to activate it when Chase Young entered the room! A fierce battle began! Jack and Chase battled! Jack eventually gained the upper hand and knocked Chase Young into the self-destruct button, activating the self-destruct sequence! Jack then beamed back to his ship!

Colonel Sandurz and Dark Helmet realized that Spaceball One's self-destruct mechanism had just been activated! Colonel Sandurz said "Attention! This is Colonel Sandurz in forward command! Abandon ship! Abandon ship! All personnel proceed to escape pods! Close down the circus! Evacuate the zoo! The self-destruct mechanism has been activated! Abandon ship!"

Everybody headed for the escape pods, except for Dark Helmet, Chase Young, and Colonel Sandurz! The three searched for the cancellation button! They found it, but it was out of order! Dark Helmet said "Fudge! Even in the future, nothing works!" The computer then counted down: 10, 9, 8, 6!

Dark Helmet said "6? What happened to 7?"

The computer said "Just kidding! 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Have a nice day!"

Dark Helmet, Colonel Sandurz, and Chase Young said "Thank you!"

Spaceball One then exploded! What remained of Spaceball One crashed into the Planet of the Apes! The apes saw Chase Young, Colonel Sandurz, and Dark Helmet coming out of the ship! One of the apes said "Oh shoot! There goes the planet!"