ココロ (Kokoro) 心

Transcript
(Toronto; Chris' house)

Chris: Time to watch TV; Don's taken over because of two reasons: the first being that he's my cousin, and the other being that he gets paid more. In fact, he always sends his weekly paycheck to me; I wonder how Don's doing right now.

(Chris turns on the TV; a news report is on)

Announcer: We interrupt the CFL game between the Montreal Alouettes and the British Columbia Lions for this Global News Special Report.

News anchor: We'll get back to your CFL game in a bit, but for right now, we've got breaking news. Don Jones has been killed in London, England; the host of the unofficial seventh season of Total Drama was walking around London when he was killed by an American spy near the London Eye. Donald Steven Jones was found dead at the area's Cool Zone by Owen and Noah, two teenagers who are reality show professionals; as more teams arrived, they saw the dead body. More information about how Mr. Jones got killed will come to us as it becomes available; for right now, we return you to the Alouettes-Lions game.

Announcer: This has been a Global News Special Report; we now return to the CFL game between the Montreal Alouettes and the British Columbia Lions.

Chris: DON??? KILLED??? I'M CALLING CHEF AND BLAINELEY!!!

(Chef's house)

Chef: McLean, Christopher M? Wonder what Pretty Boy wants?

(Chef picks up the phone)

Chef: WHAT IS IT, CHRIS? YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION!

(Blaineley's house)

Blaineley: McLean, Christopher M? Wonder what he wants?

(Blaineley picks up the phone)

Blaineley: What do you want, Chris?

(15 minutes later; Chris' house)

(Chris is sitting at the kitchen table; Chef and Blaineley are with him)

Chef: Your cousin got killed?

Chris: In England; near the London Eye. He was found dead at the area's Cool Zone.

Blaineley: Who found him?

Chris: Owen and Noah.

Chef: I don't know why, but I'm turning on the TV; there's an NHL game between the Montreal Canadiens and Vancouver Canucks.

(TV is turned on)

Announcer: We interrupt the NHL game between the Montreal Canadiens and Vancouver Canucks for this CBC News Special Report.

News anchor: We'll get back to your NHL game in a moment, but we've additional information about the killer of Don Jones in London; the killer has been identified as Donald Trump. Trump recently denied access to the American capital; the United States government immediately impeached Trump, causing Mike Pence to be sworn in as the 46th President of the United States. Trump then joined an international spy organization; his first mission was to go to London and kill a reality show host. Joining us on the phone is Total Drama creator Tom McGinnis; Tom, thanks for joining us.

(5 days later)

Chris: Well, this is it; Total Drama has been permanently cancelled. So, has anyone thought about what the future holds for them?

Owen: Izzy and I are getting engaged and moving to Miami.

Gwen: Trent and I are getting married and moving to Los Angeles.

Duncan: I would've gone back to the prison that you put me in, but it's overcrowded; thus, Courtney and I are getting engaged and moving to Chicago.

Heather: Alejandro and I are getting married and moving to Mexico City.

Mike: Zoey and I are getting engaged and moving to Phoenix.

Shawn: Jasmine and I are getting married and moving to Honolulu.

Lindsay: Tyler and I are getting engaged and moving to Detroit.

Dave: Sky and I are getting married and moving to Orlando.

Sierra: Cody and I are getting engaged and moving to Seattle.

Brick: Jo and I are getting married and moving to San Antonio.

Bridgette: Geoff and I are getting engaged and moving to Houston.

Scott: Dawn and I are getting married and moving to New Orleans.

Chris: That's good; but guess what?

Chef: What is it, Pretty Boy?

Chris: I'm marrying Blaineley and moving to New York City.

Alejandro: Why?

Chris: Because I'm just not fit to be hosting reality shows such as Total Drama; I guess it's better if I just leave that to the professionals. I'd rather be a game show host rather than do reality TV; well, I guess it's time for us to part ways and move on to the more important things in life. Farewell.

(The following night; Columbus, Ohio, USA)

Announcer: Welcome to a special edition of RAW, where Mr. McMahon is going to make an announcement; this is why we decided not to do our usual opening sequence.

Mr. McMahon: I apologize for the way I acted at that unofficial WrestleMania last night; I'm giving the Triple Threat match a do-over, this time using real WWE wrestlers. The wrestler will be guided to the ring by a Total Drama host; the wrestler will have a temporary tattoo that has the name of the one they will represent on their back while the host watches from outside the ring wearing a nametag stating the name of the wrestler that they chose. Without further ado, let's begin! BRING THEM OUT!

(John Cena's entrance theme plays)

Arena announcer: Representing Christopher Matthew McLean, John Cena!!!

(Shaemus' entrance theme plays)

Arena announcer: Representing Topher Michael Jacot, Shaemus!!!

(CM Punk's entrance theme plays)

Arena announcer: Representing Donald Steven Jones, CM Punk!!!

(15 minutes later)

Arena announcer: The winner, the representative of Christopher Matthew McLean, JOHN CENA!!!

(Mr. McMahon enters the ring)

Mr. McMahon: Chris McLean, you can keep your job.

Chris: Thanks, Mr. McMahon; thanks to you too, Mr. Cena.

John Cena: You're welcome, Chris.

Mr. McMahon: Can Topher and Don step into the ring, please?

(Don and Topher climb into the ring, with Topher having trouble getting in)

Topher: A little help?

(Shaemus helps Topher climb in)

Topher: Thanks, Shaemus.

Shaemus: You're welcome, laddie.

Mr. McMahon: Don, Topher,...YOU'RE FIRED!!!

(Don and Topher get tazed, cuffed, pepper sprayed, and escorted out of Nationwide Arena by police officers)

Mr. McMahon: Chris, you're now going to host an official seventh season of Total Drama.


 * Chris :iconsaysplz: At least MY show never had almost people die on it. [Don's eye twitches....
 * Don :iconsaysplz: And at least I never had to go to prison for turning a kid feral AND turning an island into a dump.
 * Chris [jeering Don.... :iconsaysplz: Says the gay boy [Don snaps at the last comment....
 * Don :iconsaysplz: THAT'S IT! DIE! [continues to beat up Chris...
 * Chef :iconsaysplz: Shut it! You know why? Neither of you are in charge of the next season of "Total Drama".
 * Chris and Don :iconsaysplz: WHAT?
 * (insert annoying flipscreen effect from TDROTI, TDAS, and TDPI)
 * Don :iconsaysplz: Why me?
 * Chris :iconsaysplz: I have been the greatest host.
 * Don :iconsaysplz: I am the nice one.
 * Chris :iconsaysplz: He (Don) took my job.
 * (Chef blasts Don and Chris from the Cannon of Shame)