The story of Vagineer


 * NOTE

Vagineer is a TF2 character edited on Gmod. If you do not know who he is, search on You Tube

"Vagineer is hungry", "What happens if you try/ succed to backstab Vagineer" and "Vagineer is hungry 3" before reading this. You might want to play TF2 as well.

Okay, you still here? Good.

From this point on, I will tell the story of how the person came to be.

Chapter 1

There was a team.No, not a team, not even close. A nine- man army.

They always dressed in red. Never green or blue, but RED.

When looking over all of them, you decide that the person with the bald head and ferocious Minigun would have the best odds of winning a battle. However, some things are not as they seem...

One of them stook out like a sore thumb. He had oil on his clothes, you could always see him carying a rusty wrench around and he had a badly shaved grey beard. Not to mention the hardhat. He had a name, but everyone called him "Engineer." The reason for that nickname is because he built machines to give his team mates energy, machines to teleport them places and, when the situation was desperate, tripod mounted, camera controlled guns. His motto, "Use more gun." Now, as much as he loved his machines, the best thing about them was upgrading them. After all, it does get boring watching your gun shooting people to death until they shoot missiles.

His best friend, everyone called "Pyro." Pyro had a gas mask that s/he wouldn't take off, so nobody knows what Pyro's face looks like, let alone the gender. It has been said that not even Pyro's parents know. Pyro and Engineer met in Year 7, and since, have been each others only friends. Pyro's job was setting people on fire. Everyone on the enemy team is afraid of/ hates Pyro. Engineer, on the other hand, was an easy target.

It was almost lunchtime. Engineer went over to Pyro. " Hey Pyro, I've just built my 23rd sentry. Can I rest now?" Sentry was the code word for his tripod mounted, camera controlled guns.

"Mppphh- mppphhhh!" Pyro replied. Since Pyro kept the mask on 24/7, it caused him/her to speak in a muffled voice. What Pyro said was somthing along the lines of " Okay, I'll go defend our intelligence!"

The intelligence was a small briefcase containing all thier plans. If the enemy got thier hands on it, they would be screwed.

"Hey knucklehead!"

Engineer turned. It was the teen everyone called "Scout." Scout was very weak, but he was very fast. He loved to drink a soda called "Bonk! Atomic punch!" For some reason, he thought he was better than Engineer in every single way, even when Engineer proved that he was superior.

"Hey overalls, you SUCK!"

Engineer sighed. There were no invasions, no wars, he was bored and now he had some asshole insulting him.

"Look, Scout, go back to your home in America. My sentry still has all of its ammo. Make us both happy."

"Shut up, hardhat!"

"I could build an Asshole- repellent machine. You want that?"

"Yeah, whatever, I'm still the best at cusses!"

See what I mean?

"Hey Engie!"

"WTF is it, Scout!?"

At this point, Engineer could take it no longer. He aimed for the head and fired.

"You'll never hit me! You'll never hit my tiny head!"

Pyro sighed. Put Engineer and Scout in a room and they're bound to argue. It took 40,000 anger management counsellers to shut them up for 12 seconds.

"Mmmpphphphphphhh?" Pyro butted in.

"If you want me to hear you," Scout shouted, "Speak up!!!"

But he didn't. Not because he wouldn't, but because he couldn't. The ground shook.

Chapter 2

"BLU TEAM! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!"

The BLU team were close enemies of the RED team. If you haven't noticed, Engineer, Pyro and, of course, Scout, were on the RED team.

Not only could they get killed, but that meant that BLU Spy would be there. Engineer hated BLU Spy. He would use his Electro- sapper to destroy all his buildings. Not only that, but he could be anyone.

He knew that if the BLU team DID manage to get through the defenses, the Sentrys would stop them.

... Right?

One blink was all it took to see that each and every sentry was now a pile of junk. Scout raised his knife. Scout didn't usually have a knife, except if he was a...

"Spy!"

Scout- or, more properly, BLU Spy, ran as fast as a regular Scout- that is to say, fast- to the RED Intelligence.

Engineer then shouted, "WE ARE SCREWED!!!"

BLU Spy then ran with the Intelligence. However, Engineer noticed he was carrying somthing else. Spy had a triumphant grin on his face.

He was carrying a bucket of acid.

Engineer could not shoot him, as Spy then sloshed 7 litres of acid into his face.

His face was burning as he fell to the floor, helpless and melting. Spy stood over him laughing.

"You suck, Engie. You don't like me, I don't like you. No offense."

Engineer was rolling now, frantic to stop the acid, but he couldn't. He was doomed now, and surley, death would close in...

Then, Engineer felt a new strength surge into him. He felt his face rearranging. Spy's laughter was cut short by a BOOM!

Spy was now the one on the ground. Engineer didn't know what he was doing, going crazy, but he knew he had to do it.

He picked up Spy and started speaking... in reverse?

He opened his mouth wider than he ever did and then, swallowed Spy in one gulp.

Engineer felt powerful, but, had he been looking, noticed that this corpse was an empty shell. Spy was right behind him...

Spy stuck the knife into Engineer's back.

This would've killed Engineer, but Engineer just got mad. He punched Spy so hard that he flew over the BLU base and banged his head really hard.

Spy was finally dead.

Engineer looked in the mirror. He didn't know what he was, or who he was, but he said he looked like...

... A Vagineer.

To be updated 20/03/2012