Nabriho'ulbon's World: Chapter 13

'''AUTHOR'S NOTES: OMG ITS MEH AGAN AND WELCUM 2 DIS CHAPAR OF NABRIH'OLBON'S WORLD. B4 U RED THO, I MUST WORN U DAT DIS CHAPTAR WONT GONNA BE ALL DAT CHEERFUL. IT'S GONNA HAV A BUNCHA BAD THINGS HAPPENING TO PEOPLE AND THEYRE ALL GUNNA BE REEL SAD ABOT IT ALL. WHAT R THEY ALL SDA ABOT? WILL THERE SADNEES BE CLENSED? REED 2 FIND OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND ASLO, I WANTED 2 TRIE SPICING UP TEH REEDING PROCESS 4 U GUYS, SO THER'LL BE CUE 2 SONGS 2 ACCUMPANY SCNEES 2 ADD MOR 2 DA EMOITONS, I HOPE U GUYS ENJOY DA NU FEETURE AND PLS LET ME NO HAU U FELTED ABOT IT AFTA REEDGIN IN DA COMMETS.'''

''Real Author's Notes: (18+) This chapter you are about to read contains sex, tentacle porn(sort of), and lots of gay sex. Reader discretion advised.''

HEAR R DA LINKS 2 PREVIOS CHAPTARS:

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_1

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_2

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_3

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_4

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_5

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_6

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_7

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_8

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_9

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_10

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_11

https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Nabriho'ulbon's_World:_Chapter_12

Omg dis is Nabriho'ulbon agan and im soooooooooooo gald dat chrismas is cumming soon and i cant weight 2 open lots of persents and gets lot of gams lik Eternal Filena and Rhapsody: A musical adventure. 2 celebate da upcumming holyday, i derssed in a a sescky brite red top with wite fur anf it lukt liek a bra buy iddnt hav starps it was held up by mah tittehs. Im aslo wareing a short brite red skirt with white fur also anbd it maches my top and in caxe u dident get it by nau, im derssing liek Santa. Aslo im wareing plane white glovs, carchol baclk kinky boots that lukt wuite kinky with golden sqare belt thigs on dem, and for 4 teh ehl fo it, lite gren garterbelts layerd behind my boots. My haer is lite bron with neon red and geern hilites kinduh lik christmad lighs and its sitll gorwned al teh way 2 mah nick. Im only wareing pink blush with birte red lipstick 2day because i dont wanna look all slutty and alfa bitchy dis chirsmas i wanna look all wholesum and pure and good so i wanna sho dat by not dressing or looking lik a slut. Anyway, heers da sotry :3.

Drive to the Reunion
[Cue: Elevator Music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBlFHuCzPgY]

I was sitting on da coch with mah room8es Edd Tom and Matt and we wur all wahincng The Nitemare b4 Chirstmas becus christmas wood cum soon and we wur all preparing 4 dat. I was also on my 3DS praying I Love You Kernal Sanders i chose dat pacific game 2 play dis chirstmas becus i herd dat in jpaan people in japan eat KFC on christmas and i wanna honour dat tradition cus i want 2 and stuff. I had neerly cumpleted da gam and was abot 2 witness my chatacrer kiss him fianlly when suddenly, i wus interupped by my phone ringing. I shutted da 3ds of then garbbed my phone and turned it no 2 find dat sum anonimos persun was texting me. I flicked it on 2 Messagner and i texted "Hu r u i dont u i shudnt be takling 2 stragners im Nabrih'ulbon Nikrausarthbert and if im not teh rite persun, then pls close off and giv meh sum pirvacy, im trying 2 be meen im just teling u so you dont waist ur time ok?" but b4 i culd sedn it, teh persun sented me "Hey, is dis Nabriho? Tis is meh, Petunia Solana: Fromer leeder of da pink armeh and nau a botanist. Is di d rite persun?" i deleted wati texted eaerlier and repsodned "OMG Petunia, hey! Its me alrite ;)! It bin lik so long since we last talked i cant belive ur texting meh nau!" "Yeh watever. Listen i need 2 tell u sumthin." "Ok." "Hu r u texting Nabriho?" assed Edd i repsodned "U wont belive meh but...its my old frend Petunia!!!"

"OMG! Dat gurl form a logn tiem ago!" Shortly after he finisehd sayinged dat, Petunia finiished her text and texted "Well, jsut like a perducted, teh affects of teh pill i tooked dat rmeoved my pnis wore of and i gotted it back and it felt all horrible and it was so fucking awful and horribal. Fortunately thanks 2 da momey u gaved meh b4 i left, i wasnent all dat mad and sad nad i immediatly started trying 2 find a sirjun hu wood remov teh dammed fishstick. It tooked a while, but recentyly fuonded a avaliable serjun and a few days ago, he cut of my dcik and 2day's ym last day in hosptial before i go home. Im rly glad dat u gaved meh dat moeny and i wish u and ur roomates cud cum over 2 ware i liv and saty 4 a little bit and we can celebra8 Christmas 2gethar. I liv in a smol town close 2 Lundon caleed Littlewich its a rather smol town ompared 2 Londom and theres no lanes and streets and stuff its al just 1 town but i sitll lik da place beuace nostalgia. Anyways, teh palce is close 2 London so the drive shudnt be long and once u get there, there will be dis big luking hopsital called "Hope Hosoital" im in 1 of teh rooms just tell the nurse my name and shell take u 2 da location. I havent ben able 2 work these past feew days butt fortunately Snowball's doing all the work for me while im gone so theres no need 2 worrey abot dat." "Wat did she say?" "She wantes taht us 2 drive 2 Littlewich and visit her at the hopsital and stay there 4 a little while."

"Ok them. Dat cna be maganed. Hey huys, git ur stuffs, we're going out of town 2 visit Nabriho's friend Petunia in Littlewich 2 celebr8 Christmas." Edd delcared 2 Tom and Matt on teh couch "Yey Chirstmas!" M@ cheered as he lept of teh coch "Does teh Chirstmas paert even meen anything?" Groaned Tom "I h8 dat hooliday with a bruning pashun it's jsut sum stpid excuse 4 peole 2 chher abot pointless shit dat doesnt matter and stu-" "Tom!" Edd ejaculated in a admonisign but still polite tone "We're jsut going sumware 2 see sum1 and we'll be back hoem in abot a day or 2. Anyways, ill get da car reddy, u guys w8 hear." and then Edd gotted off teh couch and walked in2 teh garage. Tom sat back down on teh coch and sighed "Well, at leest 1 persun heer feels da sam way." "What do u meen?" Matt assed he rpeldid "Jsut the voice inside my hed Eridan. As im talking, hes going on a long rant abot hau Christams is pointless and servs as nothing moar but a exucse 4 christuns 2 flaunt there status as teh ultim8 religun by having ther own holiday dedicated 2 teh birf of Jeuss and dat they r being mind controlled by angels 2 do so. He may be odd, butt hes rel8tabel." "Oh ok" "Hey guys, da cars reddy." Edd called fro in teh garage. I closed my 3ds nd phone and we walked 2 teh car and i got behind Edd who was in teh drivers seet and Matt sat next 2 me and Tom sat in front of him. "Hey. Y dont we lsiten 2 teh radio on teh way htere 2 make things a lil bit less boring." Edd turned on teh radeo 2 We like to Party by Vengaboys as he droved out of teh driveway "Huh?" "..." Tom was cumpletly slient amd Matt was jsut strating off in2 space. "Is dis fine, Nabriho?" he turned 2 me i repsoend "Yeah omg i like Tehcno eurodace things stay there." "*Chuckle* at leest sum1 heer liks dis. Well, lets go 2 Littlewhich!" then we drove off.

TOMS POV

As teh car pulled on2 the rode, i stayed satted down at teh seet all board and shit and becus i was board and shit i though 2 Eridan ''"Hey..." He rpleid bacc interupting his rant "Wwat?!?" "Well, im feelin kinduh board at teh moment, and sumthing tells meh il'l be feeeling dat way 4 a littel whil, so i was wondering if u culd hlep a littl bit." "Help u hau?" "Mayb u cud giv me suhjjeshuns on, y'no, things 2 do 2 pass the tem." "It doesnt rly luk liek theres anythin in dis shitey car dat wwood bee wwroth ur intrest or tiem, an...Oh gawd!...Wwat teh hell evan is dat playin in teh backround! ughh...is dis rly teh kinda nusic dat people r listenin 2 nawdays?! Dis peppyness and all dese...MEENINLESS LRYICS...gog dam man liek hu wwood evan wwaist there tim making theese conksuck songs anyway...TEH DYEUHBEATTEAS IS OVERFLOWIN MAH ERDURMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Jesus MAN just calm THE fuhck DOwn!"'' "Hey Edd wil u pls chang teh channle 2 sumthing esle, aynthing else is fine just change it ok?" i assed Edd and he rpeid "Depp don, i nu u wood say dat. Im not rly shure dis song's really doing aney favors 4 u 2. Nabriho, ur fine wiff meh changing da chanel rite?" she nodded and then he swuitched 2 a nother stastion playing When The Wild Wind Blows by Iron Maiden. After dat Eridan let ot a sy of relif and sed ''"*Sigh* thnk god 4 dat, sumthin of quality, y culdnt things haVv stayd dat way?" "Well, maybe we culd...talk 4 a bit." "Talk?" "Yeh, liek, sum things abot ur lyfe, b4 u..." "...Wwell, ok then."''

I assed ''"Fisrt of all, wat is it wiff u and dis "Power" and "Wrold conkuest" shit u alwys talk aboy? Ever sice the beginin, u talk abot it all teh tim lik its sum intropant milestone or ascension u want me 2 do sins u cant do it nau dat ur ded." "Dats becuse those thins are intropant mylstones i wwanted 2 accomplish bacc wwhen i wwas aliv. Srsly, havvin all dis powwur in ur graps, bein abel 2 do wwatever u wwant, nothin standin in ur wway 2 tell u wwut u can or cannut do, its liek dis hi scop god game only u dont havv all dis bullshit lik harwwaer limitations limitin ur frredum. Dat wwas the kindof life dat all dese badasses like Mao Zedong and Joseph Stalin wwur livin! I sitll rmeeber that day wwhen i stol and readed dis book from teh library abot teh almity Adolf Hitler and red abot all dis kewl stuff he did in his rule like kill all dese poeple and so experiments on dem 2 advance sighants and stand 4 aminal rites an ever since dat day, its becummed my sexual feiths of sorts(not nazi porn, i meen a deep intrest in dictators but not the sexul parts abot dem) dis luvv 4 dictatorship, dose kinds of people r lik my role models! I've always had dis fantasy of mine of 1day goin over 2 a contry and TAKIN IT BI FORS, RULIN IT WITH A IRON FIST AND MAKIN ALL HU DONT OBAY MY WWURD PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!" "i wwunder if ur perants spent hours lecutring u abot dis "fetish" of ur's." "Lecture? Wwat r u tlakign abot. The only parent i nu wwas my dad and abot 90% of teh tim, he was outta da haus goin off 2 flurt wwif gurls or smoke sum cigs leevin me home along wwhne i wwood return from skool, meanin i culd run around and do wwaterver i wwanted 2 menin mostly i technicalyl wwas ruling a contry with a iron fist, eatin evvrythin outta the frige and reedin all his books like 50 Shdaes of Gray and A Russian Bear and Ulysses, all teh god shit all the adults red dat dose shitty "yung adult" novvels like Twiligh dont giv u."''

I coudlnt help ut hink 2 mysself ''"Dang, whoevr dis kid's dad is, there's no doubt he passed a good chunk of his jeans 2 him, maybr 2 many." "I herd dat! Dont u dare juge my faehr dat wway! At frist galnce, he may luk liek a typical hopeliss ronamitc hu cant hlod uo a jawb 4 2 m0onths, but dont u there dinigh dis man's services 2 the pleshore of mankid! Evvry nite, he goes outta da haus, pulls open his jackit, and puts all a dem drugs he keeps in his cabints on sale. And wwhen i say "evvery nite", i do meen EVVERY! SINGEL! NITE; nau dat's undenyable DEVVOSHUN!!! Hau hav i lernd abot dis man's hardcore deovviton 2 badassery? Many of teh kids at skool tolld me dat! They keept on reportin seein dis guy stadnin in a alleyway offerin durgs adn i nu wwoh dat guy wwais! I dont givv a fryin fuck wwat all dose drug PSAs tell me; if theres anythin dad's showed meh, its dat DRUGS R AWSUM AND TEH CLOSEST THING WWE HAV 2 REEL MAJICK! And if theres anythin Hatty Potta's showwened mii, its dat MAIGC'S TEH MOST BADASS AN FUCKIN GEINUS SHIT EVER CONCEIVED THRU HUMEN MINDS EVEN THO ITS NOT REEL!!!" "Suonds lik u rly luv ur dad." "FUK YEH I DO! Adn another thing, wwhenever he cums home, sumtimes he talks abot hau he wants 2 becum a humam and cunsider's himself "Humankin". He's not jsut supportin teh humen race, HE WWANTS 2 BE DA HUMEN RACE!!!! All dem ids at my skool sed dat i wwus a horribal eprsun 4 supportin dem things BUT THEY JSUT DONT UNDERSTAND!!! MY ROLE MODELS R PREFECT REPRETATIONS OF WWAT DESTRUTION TEHY R CAPAPAL OF AND I FULLY SUPPROT DAD 4 HIS BELIFES FO WWISHIN 2 BEE DEM!!! THEY R EXAMPLES OF ULTIMATE HUMANS OF HI POWA WHO RITEFULLY ERNED THER FREEDOM OF SHOWIN THER FOLOWWERS THEIR RULES!!! AND ALL POELPE WWHO DONT FOLLOW DEM DESERVE 2 DIE 4 THER CRIMES!!!!!"'' "we're hear" Edd (thankfully) interupted.

Reunion at Hope Hospital
[Cue: Trauma Center 2 - Gentle Breeze https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJsy5jJ7Dp0]

NABRIHO'S POV

After a logn dirve, ilooked outside th wondow as Edd porked in a uotside porking lto adn swa a neerby sign redaing "Hope Ohspital" which menat i was at Hope Hospital which was in Littlewich meening i was nau in Littelwich at the hospital wheer my frend was. I stepped out after Edd amd Tom came out soon butt Matt wus sitll in teh car staring in2 space and so Edd opend teh door and sed "Wer hear Matt." Matt jilted a lil bit b4 he truend arond and chuckled "Oh sorry Edd, i was jsut thinking abot... things, i mena, not liek there dat intorpant or aneythin." then he setpped out of the cra. We thgen all walked over 2 Hope Hospiatl which was this lorge 1 sotry builfing dat had dis exquisit looking arkitekshure dat looked vereh nice and decilste 2 be honest anyway we walked inside teh building inside dis w8ing rom where all theer wur w8ing on teh neerby chares. Edd walked over 2 a nruse wearing pink nurse cltohing with brown hare in a bun and sed "Hey, im Edd gould and thees hear r mah roomaeets Tom Matt and Nabriho and we're hear 2 see Petunia Solana 4 uh vizit." "Y'meen r town Botanist? Shes in teh secid rum 2 da rite on teh 2nd flor." "ok then." adn so we gotted in teh neerby elvator 2 2gether and Tom perssed the up booton and teh elevateor started goin up until shortly after, it stopped in teh floor jsut above teh w8ing room we wur in erlier.

Nowing the diractins 2 Petunia's room i waled over 2 the second room on da rite and i pulled teh curtian and walekd inside teh room with teh rest following me. I then sawed Petunia layingg in a hopsitl bed and there was a brown hared man wearing a white shirt with dark blu rims and navy blu ptants and blac shu's standing neer teh bed and tey both turned 2 us as we stepped in. "Nabriho! Im so glad u and ur roomates camed over." "Nice 2 see u agan Petunia. Hey, who's dat man standing next 2 u?" i assed, he turned hjs hed 2 mii and introducted "Oh me? I'm Doctar Derek Stiles. I am teh surjun dat oprated on ur freined her ea bot a week ago i tihnk." he sayed 2 me "I was jsut abot 2 tell her dat sh was reddy 2 go hoem when u gyus came in." "OMG UR DERKE STYLES FRUM TRAMAU CETNER I REALLEH LUV DAT GAM!!! OMG UR SO AWSUM!!!!" "Y tjhans madamn. i quite a well-nown surgun arond deese parts, and 4 good reson; i really no my ways with all teh hopsital equipent and hav masterd my surgety skills over the yeers. So needless 2 say, i wus da rite persun 4 da job 4 her opration, and it was all jsut smuth saleing 4 me, and a miracle 4 her." "Dr. Styles! A pashunt's in ned of ur asistants!" Interuped a nurse with pink hare "Ill be there rite away! U all stay hear 4 a lil bit. I shuld be back in abot 5-10 minutes." and he dahsed out teh door like the flash and town teh hopsital corridores.

After dat, teh dor clossed begind us and i turned back arond 2 Petunia, who had dis content smile on hre face, a deep comtrast frum her othurwize feisty nature but it was understandable becus she had her penis dat she didnt want removed a while ago and she was glad abot so i ws glad too. She them got up of teh deb and walked over 2 me and huged me as smol taers fromed in her eyes she lukt idrectly at me and sed "T...Thank u Nabriho *sobs* thanks 2 u... *sniff* i dont hav 2 liv wiff dat crused "thing" aneymoar *sobs*..." "It's okay Peutnia..." i sooothed 2 hur ass i wiped teh teers off her face "Its ok..." i then pulled her in2 a kiss and we made out! Her thourt tasted like a strawberry sundae fused with a mixture of teh ripest cashew and almons and sum of teh juivest rasp lube and black berrehs dat wur growed in haven by sum of teh moist experianced farmer arch angels. After a whiel i piulled bak form hur and giv her 1 last kss on check. "Hey Matt." Petunia turned 2 Matt and assed butt hwe was luking at da cieling 4 sum reeson. "Matt? Matt! MATT!!!!!!!!!!!!" she ejaculated as hse sotmped her fott garbbing his attention. "O h-h-hey agsin Petunia." he stutterd. Petunia then trued 2 Edd all frutstesated "Wat teh fuck is hjs deel?!" "IDK. iI'll go ask ihm." butt as she was abot 2 ask him then suddenly Derek Styled opened teh door.

"Okay then now dat im back u guys can go hoem nau." "Well, cna we saty heer 4 a lil bit lgner, there's dis thing i hav 2 do-" "Im sorrey sur butt a pashunt will arrival hear so u cant saty long. Nau if u may, pls leev nau b4 i hav 2 clla authoritys which i dont wanna do butt dats wats Hopsital policy 2 kick out people 4 doing dat so u guys muts go nau b4 authorys kick u out." not wantign dat 2 happa, we all immediaty dashed out of teh door and down teh eleveater then once it went down 2 teh w8ing we all dashed str8 ahed 2 teh fromt door and opend it. We stopped 2 take our breaths 4 a lil bit b4 Petunia grabbed my hand and sayed "I no teh way 2 mah haus, follow meh." and so we all gotted back up and followed her acroos a dose yellow line things on eh road dat was 2 teh rite of us. During teh wlak, we had 2 cross a lot moar roads 2 get 2 diffrent siedwalks in fact 2 hda 2 corss so maney not even i culd cuont dem an im a maff geinus. Fortuanately 4 us however dat was all we had 2 deel with becus ther werent aney gangstas or pedofiles dis tiem raound ad teh most dander we had 2 deel with was teh thrat of turcks running us over and odgs triyng 2 infect us with rabies. At 1 ponit on our jourmey, a alien invasio happend and the Vortex Queen landed on teh strett jsut a few inches away from us and started shooting fireballs nad laser guns at us. 2gether with a few passerbys, we mangaed 2 defet the alien manece and after all the alienas wented back gome, us and every1 in da citie agredd 2 never mention it agan and me Tom Edd Matt Eridan and Petunia contieud wlaing 2 teh place.

After a while, we stoped at a smol apartment building with pink brick walls and was deisnged like the rite sied of the Sunset Arms place form Hey Arnold. Aneyways, Petunia walked up 2 teh door nad opend it and walked inside but kept held on 2 da door as we stepped in side the building. We walked past all teh dors 2 teh left and rite of us and then walked up teh stares 2 teh next floor and after wlakign past maor dors, Petunia stoppd at a rom whic red "Room 705". She then opend the door and stepped inside her room wich had snow wite walls and a plane wooded florr and there wer shelves which had Inuit souveneirs on dem becuase Petnuia was of Inuit descent so it made sence 4 her 2 hav dat stuff. "W8, i thought u had a normak haus and not a aarptment." i questioned her "I do liv in a normal haus neerby dis is jsut ym other room wehr i keep my sourveneirs as storagge becus i hav alot of sutff. i want 2 sho u guys sumthn, so w8 on da flor whiel i git et." hse then wlkaed ouver 2 1 of teh shelves nad statred digging thru it. "Matt?" Edd faintly asked Matt who then repsonded "What it is Edd?" "well, i sed we wood talk abot sumthing soon so nau's teh time. U've been actinf so wierd recently; u keep straing off in2 sapce, like ur tihnking abot sumthing. Culd u tell me wat it is?" "Im not shore u'd want 2 no, its jsut personal stuff nothing 2 worry abo-" "Matt! Pls tell me. I dont care wat it is, if its bothing u jsut tell me, im ur frned after all anf hleping other friends is what friends does." "*sigh* ok then...but i dont tihnk ur gonna liek it..."

[Cue: Investigation - Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zZHIDGghP8]

He then suddenky pllued out hjs phone frum his pockeit and I truned around adn swa him tunr it on and he wented 2 hjs masseges. "U rmeebrer wehn u retruned heom from the mudlraking spto adn are haus was a conplet wrekc and then welll...bscaly the redt ois history[READ CHAPTR 4 AND/OR 5]?" "Yes." "Well, earlier dat day whiel u guys wur at the mudarlking spot, *temporarliy goes off messages back 2 ap menu and flicks scren left til theres a screen with KinkOn in the bototm rite croner and piotns at it with ish thimb* I installed dis app hear and nviited all dees goffs 2 our haus 4 a partie and shorltly ater they all cmae, we got in2 a goffic orgiy. I fkuceked alot of popple at dat praty, tho I culdnt relly remberner the eckact detales...until nau." he then wented bacc 2 his masseges and scroled dwon teh scren reaveling a list of contactes with numbers dat I dident no abot. He then started taping on da unknowed contecs showing dees texts froms deese people saying things abot hmi being the father of their child anf asskigng 4 chilf support. He opend and exited 10 conteatcs until he sotpped and placed his hands on his face as teers fromed in his eyes. "W8, UR TEH FAFUR OOF TNE OTHUR KIDS!?!?!?1/1/!?!? Y DIDNET U TLLE MEH ANEY OF DIS!?!?!?!?!?" "Edd, don't u udnerstand?!? Child support for just 1 chilf is bad enouf, but 10!?!?!? I DONT HAV DAT KNID OF INCUM EDD!!!"

"I'm soorey Matt. I wood luv 2 help but altho I hav a god incum… I don't think its god enouf 4 dat, snd I don't wanna piss of Tom bi dueenly saying dat he'll 2 pay 4 ur kifs." "And its not like I cna jsut go get a part time job when we rutnern or anyithng; I alreddy got my ass kicked out fo all of dem, an drivving hear 4 a part tiem wood taek 2 long. *sobs* I don't no wat im gona do Edd, simpley put *sniff*…I'M FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" them he brusted in2 heers. evey1 truned around 2 Matt whos eyes wur 2 Niagra falls rivurs on 50 puonds of crakc and sobbing uncomtrollably on the flor. Petunia immediatly stuck sutmhing in her pockit dat I didn't no what it wus and dashed ovur 2 Matt as Tom plainly stood staring below at him. "Arleight wat the fuck id going on hear!!!" Petunai ejaculated in repsonde 2 the cummoitons Edd stated 2 her "M@ jsut tolded mii dat he was the father or 10 cihlfren after he imgrenated al these people at a goff perty he had omtns ago and he doesn't hadve the incum 2 pay 4 it all." "Thn y dont u do ot?" "I wood but my incums not good enouf either." "Then y notask him 2 do it *pitns at Tom with a furios look*!?!?" "BUT I CANT FORCE DIS GUHE REPOSIBILTY ON HIM SO SUDDENLY!!!!!!" "IS IT CUS UR AFRIAD OF HIM COMPAINING N SHIT!?!? WELL MAYBE HE SHUOLD LERN 2 FINALLY GET OFF HIS ASS AND DO SUMTHING 4 ONCE IN HIS LIFE, THAT SCRWANY LOOKIN GUY LOOKS LIKE HE HASNT WORKED A DAY IN HIS LI-" suddenly, there arguing was interuppted by a distant crying noise.

The Loss of a Bandmate
[Cue: Aerith's theme - Final Fantasy VII https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpsDpKFuGPY]

Petunia then slamed teh foor 2 her room oepn and wlaked uot and i ranned 2 her and assed "WAT R U DOING!?!" but she dident repsonde. She stood in fornt of teh dooor dat wus next 2 hre room which i culd hear the crying from and se grabbed on2 da handel and thursted teh door opne and it hitted teh wall and maed a luod *BANG!!!!!* which im curtain evey1 in teh whoile buidling culd hear and she yelled "WHAT TEH FUKK IS GOING ON HE-" but ater she flunged teh door oepn she stopped and she gasped! I lukt lukt insided da room as Edd Tom and Matt camed running in and did teh same and what we swa wus so shoking it cased us 2 let a loud uniconous *GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*! Inside teh room as Ssytem of a Down anbd Serj was sitting on da coch but he was crieng and Jonh adn Shavo wur there trying 2 cumfort him but he was sitl busy bein all sad. I shuvd every1 aside and stped in and ejnaculated "Whats hapin hear!?!?!?!!?!!!?!!?!?!!?!?!!" but theres not response and teh rest of us stpepd in. Tom turned arnod a bit and assed "Where's Daron?" and Serj eviscereated "*Snif* he's...*sniff*...HE'S DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then he proceded to crie further with his crieing embiggend nau and in repsonse i letted out a loud *GAAAAAAAAAASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* dat shatturd evevy windoe in da haus and i aslo herd many other glass shatturing sounds so dat probably ment i shatterd every window in teh building. I then yeleed out "R U SERIOS!?! HAU IS DAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!!!!!" sErj was 2 buisy crying 2 rrspond but Shaov truned arond and sed "Let meh explanate."

YESTERDAY: THIRD PERRSUN POV

[Cue: Tricolore Airlines - atsuzoukun https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bsk3qnT0JAY]

Serj, Daron, Shavo, and John were sitting in their personal prvit plain soreing abvoe teh skie. Ther deitsanation was Littlewich wear they wur gona perofrm becasue dats wat bands do they perform and make msuic and they wur on a plane fliyng 2 LItllewich where they wur gonna perform. Serj was sitting in teh vereh up passagner seet 2 da rrite sipping Kavat Cofee while reeding teh news, Johnwas sitting next 2 him lookng out teh window next 2 Serj, Shavo was 2 da left in 1 of da middel seets smokin weed cus dat's his thing and he was allowed 2 do dat becus dis was a personal plain and they cud do watever they wanted, adn meenwhile Daaron was in teh back room with all teh lugege protecting it because it aws imporntant sutff and it was his trun 2 watch oever it dis flite. In teh driver's room, 2 pilots wur sitting in teh chares drivng teh plane cus dats what there supposed 2 do and its there job so they wur drivng the plain. The head pilot, a man with short black hare named Yanov, turned 2 his rite 2 teh other pilot, a yung bot wareing a whit hat and clothes sucking on a lollipop and sed 2 him "I must day kid, 4 a frist timer, ur doing quite well. Im really glad i took u along, tho..." he then reeched in2 hjs pockit and pulld out a photo of his BoyFriend Yuu, a man with blond hare like Tom's but blonde and he had eyes "I sitll ifnd it a shaem dat he culdnt cum. I can only hope he's resting well."

He them tooked out his coffe frim his pokcet and tok uh spi then turned agan 2 fac te kid agan "Y' want sum?" he ask. The klid simplely nooded and Yanov then started handing him teh cup while he tutorialized "Hear kid. Jsut bee shore 2 nut sipll any on teh cotronl panle." teh kid then grabbed teh cpu wiff boph f hjs hans. He rmoevd 1 of his hands as he was moving teh other 2 da handel when suddenly, teh cup sharted staking abd a DROP escaped and was about 2 land on tghe BUTTON TH ACTIVATED DA BACK DOOR BUTTON! Yanov gasped out a horrifyed gasp as...the kid cot da dorp with teh pcu. He then letted out a sigh of relive as the kid drabk the coffe "*sigh of relif* u had me scared dare 4 an minate." he the nhanded the cup back 2 Yavon woh held on2 it bi th handel with his fingers then took a sip. [Cue: Cornered - Ace Attorney https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFcJmOs8DRQ] he was abot 2 lay it down on teh flor but then his fligners silpped and the ENTIRE CUP landeded face donw on the COTRNOL PANLE, and the liquid contensts started leakign out spredding across teh panel as eeltricaity started cumming out of the panle. "Oh no!" he ejaculted as teh siren started beetn and he flung da soor oepn and dahsed acroos teh empty hallway 2 teh bakc rom as he rambled "Oh god!, oh god no!" wjehn he reechd there he lfugned teh back door oepn and saw the back plane door and all this things wur flying out nad he ejeaculated "What is. Happening!!!" [A.N: YANOV HEAR SEZ IT DA WAY ITS DONED IN GARGOYLES ANGLES OF DARKNESS BY RHAPSODY OF FIRE, SOTRINING AT 14:38]

iN da vereh cetner was Sejr wjho wus holding on 2 Draon neer th egde 0f the plain by 1 hand and they wur both surtggling 2 hldo on. "EVERY1! RETURN 2 THE PASSANGUR HALL NAU! THE OTHUR PILOT WILL TAK CARE OF TEH DOOR, NAU HURY AND GRABB WAT U NCA!!" yanov adnomished and Shavo and John reeched 4 ther stuff and tossed it behind teh pilot and they ritred 2 reeched 4 Darons hand but they culdnt becus they couldnt reech him and insted they sed "Try 2 hold on Darno!" then ranned inside. Serj stayed however and was sitll trying 2 oldh on 2 Daron evan ass his hand statted slipping away from his hand ans Serj cried "HOLD ON DARON!!!!!!!!" "IM TRYING MAN!!!" he ejeaulcated back as his han slipped further til he was only holding on by 3 of his fingers. His hands continued 2 slip away untl teh only thing dat wus preventing him from going on teh ground and *splating* wer teh grap of teh tip of his middel thinger. "I ODNT THINK I CAN HLOD ON ANEYMOAR, SERH! IM SLIPPING!!! IM SLIPPING!" "NO DARON, NO!" but htne, his finger slipped and he started falling "DAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!" "SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERJ!!!!" wur teh last things they sed b4 Yanov intervneed and pulled him away fom teh door and teh site of Daron faded in2 teh sistance. [Cue: Midna's Lament - Twilight Princess https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdM4-_ADHW0] As soon as he wus nau in teh room, Serj went down on teh floor nd cryd "NO! NO *SOB*...NO!!! H-HE'S DEAD!!! I FAILED HMI!!! I FAILED HIM!! NAU HE'S DIED *SOBS*" he then bursted in2 teers and any attmepts at contiuning his tlakign came out as gibberesh.

Shavo was aslo crying a bit but Jihn however wasnt crying beacuse his asian eys wur 2 smol 2 let teers out but on da insid however he was crying jsut as mutch as Srej was. He cursed bilogy 4 granted him with teh curse of being unable 2 express his intrenal angst and sorry 4 Serj, he aslo thought about the shared feeling with his Armenian ancestors from moar then a century ago who thanks 2 ther defromity they wur unable 2 muorn the looses of ther loved 1s during the Armenain Goneside, all dees poepl wur dieing around dem and they culdnt even shed a teer aobt it, not 2 mention dat even if they culd, dem Turks wood salp dem in teh face and force dem 2 kepp wlaking 2 nowear until they all died. Teh only thing gud abot it wus dat they culd olny see half of teh horribal torutes many wur forced 2 go thru du 2 da fact dat ther smol eyes restricted ther vishun by half of wat othr people culd see[''I deeply apologise if those preceding sentences offended any Armenians or those of Armenian descent. Please forgive me for my sin...]''. J̶a̶k̶e̶ John them lifted Serj off da ground and turned him 2 face hm. "Oh John *sobs*... I *sobs* I *Sniff* i dont no what *sobs*..." "Its ok Serj, u tryd ur bets." htey both pulled demselves closer and they Maed Uot [A.N: DONUT WORRIE GUIS DIS IS NUT INSEST BECUASE THEY R OLNY BORTHERS IN LAW SO THER4 DIS IS NUT INSEST SO DONT GET MAD AT MEH OK ;3"].

 - END OF FLASHBACK - NABIRHO'S POV

[Cue: Resume Aerith's Theme]

[A.N: AN ASLO DAT WUS TECHNICALLY NOT CHEETING BECUSE JOHN WAS JSUT TRYING 2 CUMFORT HIM AND I ASLO THINK ITS PART OF THER CLTURES BECUS I HERD DAT THEY SUMTIEMS GREET POEEL BY KISSING DEM{AT LEEST I TIHNK DATS TRU} SO THINK ITS ASLO DONED AS UH FROM OF COMFURT] "THAT' S HIRROBLE!!!" i ejaculated in repsonse 2 Shavar's sotry "HAU CULD DAT HAPEN!?!?!?!?!?" "IDK. Dats had happen yesturday. but hes still crying abot it. After dat,we did eveytihng 2 cumforte. We tryed Mcdonadls. We tryed rehersig. We even had a 3sum last nit. But nothing wroked. He's sitll asd about it. Im worryd abuot him." "Wait!" Matt ejauclated "U wented 2 Mcdonlads?!?" "Yis. We went htere after we landed. I orderd a McJordan; This was 1 of teh few palces dat had them. John orderd the usaul. Serj didnt order anything, so i ordered him the sam thing i did. he didnt eat it however. Not even the great renowened almitely powas of th eluvise McJoden, a bruger that which was amlost adamoned by teh cruel sands of tiem, it's purpose of creation 2 pay tribut 2 the alll tiem greatest moist reknowned Basketball Palyer in teh enitre univurc, Michael Jefferey Jodren, culd clense Serj's soul of his deep crippling emoitons of angst and regert. anyway, after that, this odd thing happended.

A few hourts l8er, this voice started tlakign 2 me. it was in my head. He introducted himselv ass Gamzee n explanated dat he was nau my draem sprit. He wouldnt hav ben tlaking in my thoughts, had a paarsite nut ate its way ther. Fortunately, he was abel 2 klli it b4 it kiled meh.I'm gr8ful 4 dat. Anywae, i had dis convosation with him. He sed dat if nothing changed, Serj would kill helself. i cohuldnt belf dat he wood actualy hav thoughs abot doing dat so me adn Jon r trieing 2 maek shore dat that doesnt happin an remind dat poepl luv him and they wood be jsut as mad and sad as him is nau if h3 wur 2 do dat thing." "But, it doesnt seem 2 be wroking..." Tom pointd out Shavo repsoened "I noticed dat. Howver, Gamzee sed dats all we cna do until a mIrAcLe hapens, watevur dat meens." "He's porbably truing 2 say dat we shuld w8 4 Serj 2 shut the fuck up abuot hau he cant liv without Daron and muv on wiff lyfe." "Umm...he jsut telled me dat he dosnt h8 u, but u sholdnt doubt thuh almitey powurs of teh Clown Gods." "W8, wat?" Tom minafested "Ur not alon on dat." Shavo stated "Im jsut as conufesd as u r. I mena who wouldnt be? He's been telling me all dis stuff abot him, his species as a Troll, his psychic abilitys, dis things abot wat hapens when thye dy...Its all so confusing [R.A.N: Just like Homestuck itself A.K.A the webcomic Ganzee's from]."

he then paused 4 a bit but then Petunia suggested "Hey, I no dis place hear dat mite hlep a bit." "Wat is it?" "Its dis chinise restuarant close 2 hear. I go ther alot anf teh foods qiute good. I think dat it's clam atmoashpere mite help Serj uot a bit." "Well, i guess we culd go there. Hey guys, there's dis chinese restaraunt dis gurl reccumended us, wanna cum?" John pulled down his newpaper, it's back with the headline "THE CLOWN PRIESTS STRIKE AGEN IN ANOTHER BANK HEIST. 2 INJURED." and repleid "I guess, u Serj?" "*Sniff* i guess...*sniff*" seeing Serj like that really hurted meh in da insied. Just seeing him all sad abot da deaf od Daron forcefully yanked at my hartstrings. Dis all felt like dat 1 episoad of The Simpsons where Maude Faldners dyed and her hubsand Ned Flanders was all mad nad sad abot it all and he so drepessed and didnet no wat 2 do iwth himself nau. Anyways, John grabbed da remot and turnede off da TV dat was playing a Episode of Game of Thrones wer CerSei was morning th loss of hr BoyFriend Godzilla and hopped of th couch. He then garbbed Serj's hand who then also hoped oif the couch and Petunia opend teh door and we wlkaed out of teh room. She guided us 2 teh elvators and we got in and she pressed teh down button and the elevater started oging down. I dtared at Serj and though "I hop things gt better soon..."

At Xióngmāo Yuán
[Cue: Coffee Jazz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beqRy-9MkjA]

After a whiel of wakling, Petunia sotpped at a Chinese restaraunt and trund 2 us an estated "This si da place, welcum 2 Xióngmāo Yuán my favorite restuarenat." the restarunat in qestion was a smol squarish place with beige walss adn a drak guren roof dat wus a smol traingel. We boyh wlaked inn2 da restaruant it had birtch wooded floors nad dakr bronw wooded wals which had paintings on dem painteid by famos poeple like Kawanabe Kyosai and Kitagawa Utamaro and sloa Fujishima Takeji. Petuneia them wlkaed up 2 da cuonter wher thar was a ashun women dressed in a seiufku at da cuonter and she greeted "XióngmāoYuán e yōkoso, dōsureba otetsudai dekimasu ka[Welcome 2 Xióngmāo Yuán, how can i hlep u]?" "Oh, im jsut hear 2 odrer, ass usul." "I see dat u brunged ur Tomodachis[Friends] along 2." "No, olny Nabriho ovur hear is 1 of my frends, teh rest r jsut poepl who camed 2 dis town with her and i took dem laogn 4 sum food with me 2 hlep 1 of dem out a bit. Y'see, dis guy hears having sum...probelms so im tkaing him hear 2 maybe clam him down a bit." "Oh dats Ī ne[nice] of you. Well, luks liek u guys r un yoku[in luck]; we recently had a expensaion, so nau's theres moar seets 2 accumpany are growing costumer base and theres a empty tabel rite next 2 da door over ther." "Ok then, thnkas." "naega joh-ahaneun gogaeg jung hanaleul wihae mueos-ideun[anything for oen of my favorite costumers] :3"

After dat, we walked ovur 2 th previosly mentioned neerby table and i sat down in the middel next 2 Edd, Tom, and Matt whiel Petunia sat on teh otheur side with Setj 2 teh far left neer teh windo and Shavo and John on the far rite. As soon as we sat dwon, a made dressed in a cut overalll dess with a wite shrit camd ovur and greeted "annyeonghaseyo [hello] ill be ur hanyeo[maid]. Wat wood u guys lik?" She them hadned us men yu's and i looked at dem and then doon i sed "I wood liek sannakji pls." "Peking duck will be fine." Tom asked, Edd truned arond and questioned "Tom, u dont usualy order dees kings of food." "I no, it's, its just something i got in my hed, ok. Wat do u wnat?" "Ramen with bacin will be fin." i obviously nu wat Tom was tlakng abot Eridan when he satted "In my hed", since im basically abel 2 but thru subletey liek i knife. Anyway bopth Matt and Petunia ordered soba and udon respectively, and Shaov orderd Chop Suey, and atfer dat, he turne 2 Serj and asked "Wat do u want Serh?" "...Pufferfish..." "U shroe sir, that can kill u if its unwell prepeparated." the made inqusisted. Shavo intervented and sed "He atually ment 2 sau sahismi, he gets his wurds mixed up alot." "Okay then, well, ill be of then." she then walked away as Shavo turned bak 2 him and rebutted "Serj, plees dont do dis 2 urselve! Popel luv and tey wood feel teh sam way ur feeling nau if u chose 2 do day!" "At leeast if i killed myself, then my suffuring wood end..." he sighed in reply as he turned 2 teh window.

Shaov aslo syrd then placed hishand on teh tabel with trh hand beopw his face. "Im sorrry 4 dat its jsut dat dis hole pervetning my frend frum going in2 suey side has bin extremly hrad no boht meh adn Jonh beucase we've never done dis thin before not to menshun dat hes awlays trying 2 do dat wehn no1's lookin-" he them noteced Serk abuot 2 shuv a knife dwon hjs throt and he slappid ut out if his hand and it falled on2 teh floor and he cryed "SeRj SoTp DuInG dIs To UrSeLf MaN1!1!1!1!1!" His eys suddnly truned purpel when he cried dis but oh well. [Cue: Sunset - Devil Survivor https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SyqNtJSQvZo] But then suddenly, a neerby tv screen witch was plaiing a footbal gmae suddenly switched 2 da nu's, ware their wus a news reporter women standing neer a scren who then greeted "Wii interrpt dis broadcast 2 bring u London News nerwurk! Staring off, 4 dose hu havent tuned in at dat tiem(which i doubt many poepl hav because we're nau getting lawsuits filled up teh ass 4 interupting higly anticitped football games) 2 wekks ago we rpeorted dat 2 commits hitted the stars Pollux and Castor and rameed dem in2 eatch oher. Well, nau we r hear 2 reprot dat between then and nau, scintists hav been studiyng dees 2 stars and theyve dtarted noticing dat parts of the stars wur fussing 2gethar and predictionists prdicted dat they wood fuse in2 a nu star cllaed PollStor. Today, NASA has reported dat thry wur nau 95% fused and they perdict dat in olny a few huors, they will be cumpletly fused in2 wat will nau be cosidred 'PollStor'. Nau dat that's outta da wae, in Littwich Englind, a bakn reported dat a another robbety occurd last nite by the Clown Priests, a religois and crime organization dats cunsidered 2 bee da Yakuza of Britain..."

Suddenly, Tom's phon runged, interuping my focus on da Teevee. I truned 2 him and he truned on teh phone 2 a notificaiotn by teh news whiuch reported on teh bank robbry dat had jsut bin reported on da nu's. W8, ther a religous organization? teh suudn though dat suddenly popped in my hed was then followed by me tihnking Speking of relijun, i wunder hau Joseph's oding after dat nite. i then asked "Tmo, hav u herdd anythig frum Joseph?" "Who?" John assed "He's teh paster at teh Jevohian Church i originally wented 2 b4 i quite my relijuon. i sitll hav hte phone nubmer 2 his church tho." Tom repleid. "As 4 hau he's doing, i dont no. Teh last i herd of him wus from little while ago from a message from teh chruch saying dat he wood be away 4 a while and wood temporarily be rpelaced by a supstitute." "Well, i hoep hes doing alright." i concernated Tom responded bacc "im shore hes fine. he's been preaching at dat chruch 4 god no's hau logn so brakes r buond 2 hapen uh cuple of tiems." jsut then, a male butler with spikey hare wareing blu googles camed up 2 are table and handed us a plait of pakoras. "Where's teh made?" JohnJake inquisitioned "She's currently having an interview with someone and so I'm taking up serving duties for her." he repleid then bowed as i lukt at hjs name tag which red "Wonchop" with a carton monky on teh top rite.

"Anyway, the food seems to be taking a while, so for now, enjoy a freshly cooked appetizer of pakoras." and them he wlaked away and exited thru a neerby baffroom door. [Cue: Tears of Pain - Silent Hill https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UJOl1P4KQw] I grabbed a pakora but ass i wus abot 2 taek a bit, a neerby door slammed open and a man with hsort balkc hair was throwned out of the rom and then the door cloesd behind him. He sat back up on his knees and prayed "NO! Please let meh hav teh job! i've been thru far 2 many failed interviews! I'll do aneytinhg 4 u, ANYTHING! just let meh hav da job so i can support my *sniff* BOFRIED!!!" he them brusted in2 teers as he droped 2 teh floor and cryed. Serj turned aorund 2 teh man in teh distance and gasped "Yaniv?" eh then hopped out of his seet and wlaked over 2 teh man who i nau knowed as Yanov nad lifted him off teh ground then askd "Wat r u doing hea-" "NO! GET AWAY FROM MEH!!1" Yanove suddenly ejaculated. Serj then tried to circumsixe "Wats rong Yanov, y did u quit ur job ass are pillo-" "YUO DONUT UDNERTAND SREJ!!! DONUT U REMBENR!!! I KILEED UR FREND!!! I SPLLID MY COVFE SO NAU HES FUCKIGN DED AND ITS ALL MAH FALT HES DEAD!!!! I COULDNT DO IT ANEYMOAR!!! TEH REESUN I QUITED WAS BEAUCSE I DIDNT WANT IT HAPPENDING AGAN!1 SO NAU IM HAVING 2 LOOK 4 A NU JAWB 2 SRUPPOT... *sobs*" "Support *sobs over hearing hin talk aboy darin*...support woh...?"

"MAH BOFYRIEND!!!!!!" Yanvo evisceratingly ejaculated, and with dat, tehy botyh suddenly brusted in2 teers and statred crieing on da flor as ther cyrstal cleer pimpid teers escaped thru their ocular lensic dams and descended down on2 teh marble white floor that cascaded da teers in a coat of invisibilty when they made impact liek meteors striking teh erth and Yanov contintued "*Sniff* We *sniff* we wur so happeh 2 gether back ten. Eveything was fine. We both had solid incums, we had secks every nite, and we wur living so happeleh 2gether! Y'see, back b4 i storted wrok as a pliot, We both had da sam jbo, wroking in teh armeh, that is until it blowed up!!! We lost are jobs so we didnt hav josb aneymoar and culdnt pay the rent beacuse we didnt hav jobs. I soon managed 2 fid a nu job as a pilot 4 u guys, butt my boyfrend Yuu was hevely ijnured so he culdnt git a job and i rarely evur got 2 see him cus i was away a lot. But jsut when i though tihngs culdnt git aney wrose, 1 day i came bac hoem 2 find him sick and i took him *sniff* 2 teh hopsital and teh doctar tlod meh dat he was *sniff* hr wus suffering from tuburQlowsis and wood dye soon. And so after dat *sobs* i started triyng 2 wrok harder so dat *sniff* i culd pay 4 Yuu's treetment in da heoeps dat *sniff* he wuold get better and nut dye on meh *sbos*...howver, just when i thoughted tjings culdnt get wrose...*snif* it happend.

Yanove sniffed "Da day dat i spllied my coffee on teh cotrol panel and UFCKING KILLED UR FICKIGN FREND!!! ALL DAT GULT I FETLED...KNOWING DAT I WUS TEH 1 DAT CUASED DAT HORRIBAL ADICENT DAT GOT DARON KILLED...LEEVING U WITH ETRNEL GUILT AND SHAM DAT WILL HAUNT BOTH OF US 4 ALL ETERNALTY EVEN WHEN WE KILL OURSELFS IN OUR LIFE CUNSOMING GUILT DAT WILL CONSUM OUR SUOLS!!! I CULDNT TAEK THE PAYNE ANEYMOAR *SNIFF* TEH PAYNE OF MY GIULT DAT I MAGNAED 2 FUCK UP AND KILL UR FREND IN FORNT OF DIS POAR KID WHO I TOOK WITH MEH HWO DIDNT EVEN MANAGE 2 SPILL ANEY OF IT!!!! AND OS *SOVS* I WUITED MY JOB ASS UR POLIT 2 MAEK SHORE DAT I WOOD NEVUR KILL A HUMEN SUOL AGAN *SOBS*!!! BUT NAU *SNIFF* I SITLL HAV MAH OWN PORBLEMS 2 DEEL WITH!!!" hesotpped 4 a momeny 2 clam dwon a bit b4 he stated "Abuot da kdi i mentioned erlier dat i tooked with me on da trip. After i landed, i tryd 2 luk 4 hjs parnent, only *sniff* i culdnt find dem aneyware and os 4 nwo im nau froced 2 caer 4 dis chilf alongsid all dis othur shit im deeling with and i sitll havent even fuond a job and even if i do *sniff* its not gonna be aneywear neer enouth. Serj...*sobs*...please...PLEEZ FROGIV MEH 4 WAT IVE DONED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Srej then truned around away frum him and faintly whispered "no..." abnd and then Yanov lahsed out "W-why? Y DONT U FROGIVE MEH!!! DONT U UDNERTAND!!! DIS IS MY FUALT!!! DIS IS AL MAH FAULT!!! EVETY BAD THIN DAT HAS EVUR HAPPEND 2 ME AND U GUYS IS ALL MAH FUALT!!! IM SUTCH A IMCONTEPEMT BUFFON!!! U GUYS DESREVED A BETTAR PILOT THEN MII!! TAEK TEH KID ASS UR NU PLIOT!!! AT LEEST HE NO'S NUT 2 SPLIL HIS COFEE OPENING DA BACC DOR AND GETTING SUM1 U LUV KILLED!!! PLEES FROGIVE MEH SEJR! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEZ FORGIV MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *SOBS!!!!!*!!!!!!!!" "Forgiv u 4 wut? wAt prat of htis is ther 2 blam u 4? *Sniff* dis wus nevur ur fault...IT WUS ALL MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE *SOBS*!!!!!!!!" "WAT TEH HELL!?!? UR NUT DA 1 WHU SPLILED THER COFFEE ON DA GODDAMN COTRNOL PANLE!!!" "I CNAT BELIV I CULDNT SAV HIM!!! MY OWN FLAILORE WUS WUT GOT HIM KILLED, BOT U!!! STOP BLAMMING URSELVE; U DIDENT DESREV DIS!!! U WOULDNT BE FELLING DIS WAY NAU HAF I TRYED HARDER 2 PULL HIM UP, MAYBE HE WOULDVE STILL BEEN HAER AND U WOULDNT BE SRUFFINg!!!!! IM PTIIFUL IM A AWFL EXCUSE 4 A HUMEN IM WEEK IM DIGSUSTING IM A FAILYUR IM WROTHLISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO PLS, SOTP BLAMMING URSELF 4 MY WRONDOING!!! IM TEH 1 WOH DESREVES 2 DIE AND BRUN IN HELL 4 MY INCUMPOTENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"SeRj SoTp SaYiNg ThSoE aWfLu ThNiGs AbUoT uRsLeF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shavo ejaculated and then suddnlrey he started signing JonTron's Coveur of Firework iroginallu by Katy Perry. i rly watned 2 screm out in2 da chaos in teh hopes of putting it 2 a end, but i nu dat teh volume of ther screams wood dorwn mien out and make my attempes reddutnent. I culd olny sit ther and watch in sorrow as the two unfortunat surfferors lashed out their painful agonizing regrets like they wur aotmic missels being shotted at eatch other in a blindfoded war with the battlegorunds showrded in a thick sererval foot layer of dust. their regrets that wur being used as their amoo being headshotted in2 teh very ends of there eerdurms wa emnerging from the deepest dephs of their minsd, ware teh momeries of teh horrribal tragic tradgedy from a day back in teh sands of tiem wur implanteded DEEP in2 thier subconsciusnesses liek drills veing drilled drrp in2 teh rock hard earth's crsut. Sed nemories i nkow vereh well will gradualy dorwn it's victim in2 a sea of guilt regret and despare, erasing all feelings of happiness untill the'yre nithing moar then shells of theri fromer selves like parasytes devouring thier prey. Sudenly, Wonchop suddenly appeared in da room outta noehere an annoucned "I am deeply sorry, but I'm afraid we're gonna have to kick you guys out." and he kicked us outta da place.

Gamzee's Exposition Dump
[Cue: Winters - Earthbound https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiGfjOLF_j0]

3RD PERSUN POV

Nabriho Edd Tom Matt Petunia Srej Shavo John and Yaonv wer nau sitting outside Xióngmāo Yuán, the restaruant dat they wur jsut kicked out of beacuse Serj and Yanov wur distrubing customers by angsting about ther angsts over whos fault was ti dat Daron dyed adn it wus distrubing evey1 so they wur all kicked out 2 pervent furthur distrubense and aslo Eridan and Gamzee wur sitting insied Tom asnd Shavo's brain's respectively menaing they wur aslo outside with dem ouside the restaurnant. "WHAT TEH FUKC WUS DAT GAMEEZ!?!?!?" sHAVO ejaculated insdie his brain 2 Gamzee who wus in hjs brane who then shrugged an rpelied "Im omtherfuking sorreh man, i jsut wanted to all up and help dna things, i meen, all this motherfukin talks abuot suicide is sitch a big deel, not mention, commitngi sueyside cna even GeT yOu KiLlDe so i knowed dat i hda 2 do sumthing abot iy and so i tought dat by tkaing over ur mind 4 a miunt and singing dat mutherfucin song about HoW yUo ShUoDeNt FeEl AlL sO bAd AbUoT yUrSeLf wood hlep 2 LiTeN tEh MoOd. I mena, im mutherfukin sorry i got u and ur other mohterfuckers kickied out of dat motherrfukin restaraunt, motherfuker, and im osrry if ur all up and motherufckin pissed of at me over dat, just udnertand i had Da BeSt Of InTeNsIoNs they just didnt wortk da way i wanted it 2 and pls dont gett mad at mii 2 mutch 4 dat, okay. Lets jsut FoGrIvE aNd FrOgEt okay, motherfuckur."

Hamzee then sotpped talking but then Shavorsh contineud again ''"Hey Gamzee?" "Yea mutherfuka?" "R u okay man, yuo sonud a but hi." "Dats cuz im motherfukin am. I liced motherfukin hi. I motherukin dyed hi. and ill remane mthrfukin hi 4 AlL eTeRnItY1" "Wait, did u day u wur 13 teh first tiem we talkede?" "Yea mutherfucker, got a porblem with dat." "I dont think kids r suppoesd 2 be smokin weed crakc or anything 4 dat matter til ther abot 21." "Oh *snickers* u humens n ur mutherfukcin humen regulartions. If my omtherfucking memory's corredt, then ive been hittin all dem mutherfukin bongs since i was abuot MoThWrFuCkIm !0, stoarting with my 10th mutherfucking birfday. It's all apart of AnChIeNt FaMiLy TrAdIsHuNs muthafucka. We all up and od it in da name of our ClOwN rElIgIoN 2 all smoke and homuor teh mitherfucking clown gods mortherfuckin wahcing us from above in InSaNe ClOwN pArAdIeZ. In fakt, ive evan muther fickun BeEn ThErE tWiCe!1!1!1" "U have?" "MoThErFuCiNg YeAh! At leeset, i think, Morherfuxker. I wont waist ur[R.A.N: Or the reader's time] tiem by going all outa mny way 2 descirbe both of my mutherfukn life changing expericnes, so ill jsut desrcibe da frist tiem. Anyways motherfuckr, it all started when i was liek, 10 or 11 or, i dunknow, my thinkin's all kinduh hazy. Those mutherfcking anti drug motherfucjers say its beacuse of teh weed, but id liek to all go ahed and cuontargure, y wood sumthing dat makes me feel godd want me 2 forget all that good feelings, huh?"''

Gamzze then cumtuneid ''"Anyways motygerfucker, im preety shore dat i was at this erstaraunt place, i tink it wus calld, Starfukaers or Sturbacks or, basically it's liek this coffee place wher dees motherfucking audtls go 2 get sum mother fuckin coffee. Anyways, i tihnk teh ressun i was all up at this morthefucking plac wus beauces, i tihnk, they wur serving all up thees mutherfukin items that they olny served on, Thrusdays or Sundays i dunno, taek my wurds with a grane of salt, again my momeries kinduh hazee, okay mutherfucker." "What item wus it?" "Oh well if i moutherfucking remeber correctly, they wur dees, motherfuking circley sweet things, kinduh liek lollipops, but diffrant; inated of having all this flovaring an corn syrup and other things, they wur coated in these mohterfukcing ciings and had this motherfucking sof stuff inside dem, kinduh liek tat inside shit u find in cakes, seeled all up in all that coating shit they put over dem sumtiems. Well cabisally, pacifacly they wur serving this motherfucking varient thng called i tihnk, motherfucking Rainbow Cupcake DangoPops-" "U meen 'CakePops'?" "oh, thats waht theyre called, well thanks Mutherfucker. Any way they wur kinda all uo liek those norma 'CakePops' only, whilel nromal 1s jsut contained normal things liek cron syrup, flaovring, a shittom of motherfucking sugar, thees 1s they wur seving dat day continaued DrUgS1!1!1!"''

Gamzee conjured ''"Unsprisingly, i was there liek, orderijg and shuving a motherfuck ton of dem down my asaphogus cus y'no, im a bitch 4 weed, and dat wus 1 of teh drugs inside teh Pop." "What wur teh toher 1s?" "Dats teh leest important mtuherfukcing shit abot htis, besides, i didnt even bother looking at teh wrapping 4 teh motherfuking tezts thins dat r usaly sumwher on teh rappers, i did hear dat ther other drugs in der dat i never had b4, but i dident giv a motherfucking shit abot dat; all i card abot was da mTuHeRfUcKiN wEeD mAn! Anyways, i was at teh place all up thrustin all dat mutherfukcin drugy goodness down my thoart, by dat i meen A lOt Of DaT MoThErFuCkIn DrUgY gOoDnEsS, like i was devouring abot, 50 of dem. That may sond liek a mutherfukin lot, but noet of my munchies, its normak 4 peple 2 ear lOtS of good motherfuken shit when theyre hi, taek teh fact dat i usaly eat liek, 10-30 mothrfukin McJordens or Funyunns bags in 1 sitting, ddi i mention hau mutch i liek all dat motherfukin shi-" "Cna u pls git 2 da point, im not gonna liek sitting hear all day listening 2 ur rambling." "Oh, osrry mutherfukcer. Anyway, 2 cut a few thins short, soon teh motuherfucking staff started all up mutherfukcing telling me 2 wuit eating dem cus i wus liek, high AF, but iddent listen bcus i wus 2 motherfucking buisy shuving dem down my throat, i tryd 2 flip of a made hu tryd 2 took 1 a way, but b4 i culd motherfukin do dat, i lost all of my sense suddenly as teh entire room started motherfuckin flashing all thees pretty motherfuckin coluors as it all melted, and then evrything went baclk. For a motherfukin whiel."''

[Cue: First 17 seconds of Savior of the Waking World - Homestuck https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaJsqJ_oV2g]

Gamzeez continuyed explanating ''"Preety mutherfukin soon aftre all dat i opend my eys agen, olny i wusnt all up in dat restaraunt i was in previosly, insted i was in dis MoThErFuCkInG hEaVeNsCaPe! I was standing on this mutherfucking raynebow bridge and when i lukt down at it, i saw dat i wus nau wareing thees long yellow mutherfukin clothe things. I then lukt 2 teh sides in da distance and swa in teh ditsance wur all these motherfucking floating cicrle planet things lik mutherfucking planets in checkerbouard and satr paturns dat wur floating above thees mortherfuckin sqyareangle shaped tents dat all infested teh lanscape, and sum of dem even had thees, light blu things dat lukt like a mix between fire and light. Anwyay, i aslo lukt dwon at teh ground, which was liek a few hudnered feet above teh mutherfucking raynebow road, and saw all thees canrival rides and there wur smoil dots going all up on dem. i then lukt up str8 ahed of teh raynebow road an i saw a mutherfucking large drak tent alongside all these other mutherfcking black things only i didnet no wat they herd. As soon as i all up and saw it, i mutherfucking herd this voucie call out "GaMzEe, MaRcH tO yOuRe DeTsInY..." It was...ThE gRaNd HiGhBlUd!1!1!1" "wh-" "Anyways, i immediatly started dashed towards teh tent, nowing nau dat my motherfucking tiem had camed. Dat was teh most ReTaRdEd DeSiCiOn I hAd EvEr MaDe In My LiFe, because guess wat, there was was dsi curve in teh path and i all up and motherfucking ran off teh road and stared falling 2 teh mutherfucking ground. But then b4 i hitted it, i woke up in dis motherfucking hopsital and my parents wur there and i was sitll mothafuken alive. I sitll remebered dat moment tho, and its taughted me teh important thing all motherfuckerz on earth shuold no; dont go all up running hedfirst n shit or else ull fall str8 in2 mutherfukcing suffring."''

[End Cue]

"Anyways, hopedd u enjoyed mah motherfukin stroy mutherfuckur, if yu gots aneymoar things to ask, feel free 2 all up motherfucking lay it down." Gamzee concluded. Shavo then assed ''"U hav aney silbings?" "A coaurse mutherfuker: a yunger stepsister." "Stepsistur?" "Yea mutherufker, her mom and my dad all up got marryd when we wur both mutherfuckin 10 but shes sitll yunger then mii bi, abot a cuple months." "Her naem?" "Oh yeh, Leijon motherfyucking Nepeta and her mom's name's Meulin Leijon- motherfuck got her motherfuking names mixed uo agen. Oh well, not liek i, reely notherfucking btohered wtih her or anything. She wasnt liek, at leest she wasnt a motherfucking anti-weed nazi or anything, trust me dose guys r teh mutherfukin antichrists. Anyways, she liked motherfukin cats and roelplaying, which suonds fine all by itself(afterall, i did enjoy playin the motherfukin bard in Terezi's rolplaying adevnturees[wether she wanted m3 2 or not]), but tehn ther wur thees fucking moments wher she wood nock a bong over whn i tryd 2 smoek, spilling all teh weed in teh motherfuckin floor whiel pertedning 2 be a cat. In aslo shore ther was this, 1 tiek wher, i took the bogn, and all up shuvd it into her mutherfucking mouth as payback and, she fortunately didnt chock 2 deaf or aneything but, she flipped me off and sed she didnt giv a shit abot my motherfukin MiRaClEs. Wehn i all up herd dat, i culdve sworned dat i was mutherofcking flabbergasted 4 a mokent, i meen, wat motherfucker on erth wood wanna say no 2 teh motherfukin most gr8est invention on teh fucking plnet? She just didnt mutherfukcing understand man, she wus cumpletly blind."''

Gmazee then clarifyed ''"Nau donut git meh rong, dat doesnt meen i all up mutherfucin h8e hur oar anniething, other than dat, shes alrite. However, she rarly motherfucking doeses aneything with meh; shes amlost aways in hur room by herlsef, chatting wth poepl onoine and drawing pictures shipping our frends with eatchohtur, olny occasioanly leeving teh haus 2 go roelplay with her mutherfukimg frends(she's hoemskooled BTW, watevur dat meens). W'ere olny reely motherfuiing silbings beacus my dad liekd his 'Kittybitch' and seh liked him 2 and so they all up gto marryd." "Wat abot her?" "Motherfucking Huh?" "Ur dad's "Kittehbetch"?" "Oh yeah motherfukin Meulin. Shes kinduh liek mutherfucking Nepeta; excitable, rowdy, cheerful and shit, onley she doesnt roleplay as a cat, so im moar cumfortabke with her being neer meh wehn im smokin dat mutherfuckin smeh(weed). Aslo unliek her, she has this, thing wher, seh cant actually muthetfukin here, i think its called, deafness or sumthin but anyway. Dis meens she motherfucken talks without actually ralking bi all up fiddling her mutherfucking hands 2 maek letters which soeel mutherfukn wurds, but my dad taughed meh dat whiel they wur dating, do it wasnt as much of a mutherfuckinng communication tranewrek and i understood hur perfectly fien. I would sohw u, but i'd all up hav 2 roll ur notherfuken I's 180° so u culd see, adn since wher in public, it wood all up frek evey1 teh fuc out, so i cant do it." "Okay theb, we'll im gonna go bacc 2 teh apartment with evey1, ill talk with u agen soo-" "w8, b4 u all up go bacc 2 teh mutherfukin aparemtn, its fine if i mutherfukin cofness sumthing?" "I guess." "Well moutherfucker..."''

Gamzeez puasd 4 uh momrnt b4 he begunned "Thers dis...mutherfukr i luv, y'see..." anorther pause b4 ''"We, ew've bin best mtherfukin frends 4 a fukin whiel bakc when we wur both sitll moherfukcing aliev. I, i metted him a long moterfukn tiem ago, i wus...welll, i was wakling down teh sidewalk bi myeslve, which is sumtinf i wood all up motherfukin do sum tims. I ekpt walking until, i stopped all upp a sudden as i saw dis, odd looking building in teh motherfukin ditsance, an all up connerected 2 it wus dis mtoehrfucknig fence square, and 4 sum resson, thees motherfukin kisd who apperd 2 be arond my age wur in it, adn they wur all up, running aorund adn playng with thees mtuehrfuking od looking circle things. I wlaked over 2 git a closur look, but when i did, i saw thiis kids who wasnt mtorfucking doing any of dat; insted he was sitting by himselve in dis chare dat had thees motherfucking wheels on dem. I was feeling all up curios abot dat mutherfukur, so i approched him frum behiend, he motherfuckin truned around and...he waved and motherfuckin sed "hi". 2 bee honest, i wus eckspecing him 2 get all up scarred and hop out of ihs chara an run of, but he didnt motherfuckung do dat, he seemed fien with me being neer him, afetr dat we well talked 4 a little bit, and he even taugh meh abuot dis mohterfcuking gmae called, Pokemon; i wood explain the rules, but dat'd be getting mtuehrfucking off topic, os ill jsut rwap dis all up with a motherfuycking short summary.''

Gmazee exlanated ''"Afterdat, i wood cum over there often and all up hang out and soon, he became my motherfucking homie, or as he called it, "best frends". Also, apparently, teh reeson he was in dat "weehlchar" was becuse he was parapaleejic adn couldnt walk, for at whiel at leest; becus a whiel later, he got theese motherfucking robot legs meening he culd do wat all teh toehr kids wur doing and play "basketball" and shit, not liek he wanted 2 aneyway, it simply iddnt intrest him; he jsut kept playing pokemon and doing rap battles with me, which many of teh kids there called ThE wOrSt WrAp BaTtElS iN pArAdOcKs SpAcE, but we didnt care. Eventuly however, i started feeling dees...OdD fEeLiNgS aruond him,i think its mothefuckin called, lOvE? i wood luv 2 cofness 2 him but... idk hau 2 all up do it, motherfucker. Cus...im not motherdfucking shor if he feels teh same twoards me; Im worryd dat he viwews mii ass moar of a frend and will reject meh iff i cofness. Wat shuold i do, mutherfuker..." Shavo remained silent, thinking of suggestions which cut off midway b4 he settled wiht "Maybe ur sister culd hlep; u did say sumthing abot her shipping ur frends with each other, so maybe she no moar abot romance, menaing she culd hlep u." "Actually, dats a good idea mutehrfucer. TOday's gonna be a mutherfuckin full moon, meening i'll git 2 meet all my frends agan, os maybe i culd all up call Npeeta over nad with her advice, i culd finally cofness 2 him, my 1 tru luv...*GAPS*" Gamzee sotpped 4 a monemt as he suddenly got a noxe bleed and Shavo screamed "Gamzee? GAMZEE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"'' but there was no repsonds so he shifted focus back 2 reality 2 find out wat was with his strange repsonse.

Could this mean...?
NABRIHO'S POV

[Cue: Snowdin Winter - Sharax https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP5z0T_nXog]

I sat there on teh siedwalk 4 moment looking dwon at teh road woth my hans on teh bttoom of meh chin. I then truned my hed ovur 2 Srej, who was diong teh same thing i wus doing previosly with a sda look on his face. "Wat r u doing Nabriho?" Edd magistrated i rpelied "Its just, Serk...i cna fell it, that incident, teh guilt of that incident...its cumsoming his feelings of happiness, its cunsuming his commom sense, his ability 2 reesun, his hunamity. Soon he'll drown in a abiss of eternal sorrow regret and payne and will becum a Emo a shell of hjs fromer self and he mite even kill hiself 2 death. Teh same has happend 2 all thees good poepl liek Kurt Cobain and Avicii and Cehster Beninngton, tehy wur all such god musicains an evry1 luved dem butt there drakness cunsummed dem of ther ability 2 see dat so they didnt no and assumed dat every1 hated dem an dat things wood be beettr without dem so they took ther own lives." "Omg u actually think dat'll hapen?!?!? He's probably tihnking teh same things Yanov wa thinking dat every bad thing dat has happend 2 him wus all his fault and they probably both wanna kill demselves even tho theyre good poepl." "Poor Shavo, it must be extremly stressful 4 him watching as his frend's guilt cunsomes him 2 teh point wher he's nau a ticking tear bom and resorting 2 evry tactic in teh book 2 cufort hm, anytihng 2 get teh message in his hed dat peopole luv him and dat they wood be all sda if he dyed." "Yeah, rite Shavo? Shavo?" Edd asked as he turned 2 Shavo, who was staring off in2 space 4 a mometn.

Suddenly hoqwever, Shavo rageined conscuisnees and truned his hed 2 a cubby grey skinned man wareng a yello hemlet with a black and yellow suit and yello shoes who wus holding sevral CDs of Systme Of A Down albums nad sum of dem wur on teh ground. "Who's dat?" Tom inqusisted as he alos turned around 2 teh man. Serj then lukt up at teh man, with his eyes focused on teh CDs both in his hands and below and he hopped up and questioned "hey, wer did u get all dose at?" teh man stopped walking and turnied 2 him and repleid "*Gaso* OMG its dat SOAD!?!?!? OMG GUYS IM A BIG FAN OF U GUYS PLS SYNE MEH AUTOGRAFF!!!" he usddenly paused 4 moment b4 saying "Oh, sorry abot dat. Did u guys ask sumthing? Oh yeag, abuot thees CDs, i fuond dem over there *points in teh direction of teh CDs* at a neerby lake and i was jsut walking bacc hoem so i culd listen 2-" he paused agen b4 he sed "Acually, u cna hav dem. Metal's nut rly my thing. Im moar in2 Basshunter and Groove Coverage." "Huh?" John confuscated, no doubt confused over teh man's usdden whiplashes in mood "W8 a minut, a buncha our CDs in a laek? Dat suonds oddly suspcius. Maybe we culd go check it out." we all nodded and then he got up and waved goodbye 2 teh man saying "we're gunna go check dat out nau, see ya." and then we all started wlaking in teh directino of teh CDs. As i began walking teh man replied "Okay then, see you guy-" then he pasued again.

* Fanfic under Construction*