User blog:RRabbit42/Sunset, part 3

Sunset part 3

Diane dismounted and I numbly took the reins. She began gushing about what a wonderful ride she had. “I have got to tell the others about her! They’ll be thrilled. I never thought a horse could be so in tune with someone. I mean, I know that a horse and rider can be close, but it’s like she knew what I was thinking.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

The swat from the Arabian’s tail was worth it. Diane didn’t even notice. She was already walking back towards the house. Once she dropped down out of sight and wouldn’t hear me, I spoke again.

“So. Telepathy, huh?”

“Are your surprised?” she asked through the mental connection.

“No. No, I don’t think I am. It explains so much. How you always understood what I was saying, even after the change was complete. I guess I assumed that you would make a mental transformation to match your physical one.”

“Nope. Still got it all up here. I wanted to be a horse will every the fiber in my being and I knew that my vocal chords were going to change. But I still wanted to be able to speak and wasn’t about to give that up, either. So, I can. Just in a different way. And after you won all those trophies, aren’t you glad I can?”

“My sweet, beloved pony. Yes. But not for what we won, but because now you and I can talk whenever we want to.”

“Come visit me next week. I’ll get you started on the lessons. You’ve got some natural talent for broadcasting, but right now, you’re primarily a receiver. It’s how I’ve been able to guide you, but I’ve had to do it subtly, through all those ideas, all that inspiration that popped into your head. You never could figure out where they came from. I’m rather pleased with myself that I could help you from behind the scenes, make you think they were your own ideas.”

“From what I know of the subject, I probably need to also learn some shielding techniques.”

I heard the mental chuckle come from her. “Definitely. When you’re with her, you’re loud. Why do you think I stay so far away from the house?” This time she added an audible chuckle.

“Kenny, are you coming?”

“In a minute, Diane,” I called back. “I still need to take off the saddle.”

As I began removing the saddle and the rest, I had to ask another question. “Well, the cat’s out of the bag. I think you’re going to have a lot more company from now on. Are you okay with that?”

“I am,” she replied. “You’re great to be around and I enjoy our rides together, but you’re usually a gloomy Gus. Plus, you’ve only been able to visit once a week. As much as I love the solitude, it does get a little lonely out here.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been a jerk.”

“It’s alright. Until today, you still thought you had somehow forced me into this, driven me to become a real horse. Despite how many times I tried to reassure you.”

“I guess I’ve got self-pity down pat.”

“Yes, you did,” she said.

“You’ve been alone all this time. What about companionship? Surely any of the other horses...”

“It was best I not mingle. We’re just too different. And since there didn’t seem to be another... option, I tried to fulfil my own needs. It turned out to be ineffectual.”

“What do you mean, ‘ineffectual’?”

“Let’s just say that my ‘research’ into that area wasn’t a success. It was embarassing, even for someone who is em-bare-assed. I’m just glad no one was around to see me. Some of the trees wouldn’t speak to me for weeks.”

I just stared at her, open-mouthed. Then I couldn’t help it. I began laughing uncontrollably.

“There it is. There’s the laughter you’ve been missing.” She waited patiently, a smile tugging at her lips. When I was able to open my eyes again, she asked, “Feeling better?”

“Infinitely so. Ah, I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have laughed. It’s just I have this image of you with a frustrated look on your face, walking away from a tree that is thoroughly disgusted.”

Now it was her turn to laugh. “Yeah, that’s a pretty accurate picture of what happened.”

“Oh, why did it take me so long to see?”

“You weren’t ready. We’re always hardest on ourselves, especially for what we feel is our fault.”

She gave me a nudge with her head. “You better get going. It will be getting dark soon. Diane will be waiting for you.”

“Thank you. I look forward to being your student.”

As I walked away, she said, “Do yourself a favor. Get serious with the training again. You’ve done well as it is. I made sure of that. And you waited enough time until it was safe to start again. But you’re holding yourself back because you’ve been afraid of what could happen. Afraid to see another choose my path. Trust me, it’s not a bad way to go.”

I left feeling much better about myself. I didn’t have to keep the secret any more. Well, part of the secret. She would reveal herself as she chose, or not at all. My mouth and my mind were zipped.

I arrived at the stables just as the light was beginning to fade. Diane was tidying up the one that had been dormant for so long, having found a renewed reason to be there.

“What were you laughing about?” she asked.

“Private joke.”.

“It’s good to hear genuine laughter from you again. Tell me some day.”

As she was putting away the broom, she paused to look at the plaque on the empty stall. Then she looked out to the encroaching darkness. “Yes, that is a lovely name. She wears it well. It’s always been my favorite time of day. Goodnight, Kenny. I’m going to grab some dinner and turn in.”

I waved a farewell and then went to the stall myself. I traced every curve and stroke I had carved into the plaque those many years ago. It brought back two more memories.

The first was what had woken me on that night. Such a tiny thing. A single word.

She had spoken it in the same, sad voice she used when I later rushed back to her. She had said it so quietly I had barely heard it. It had been said as I passed by, when I did not see. A word I did not register until I had thought it was too late and frightened me.

“Goodbye.”

It no longer held me in its grip. My talk with her today had showed me that she had been telling me that she was changing from one life to another. She was not abandoning me. She was abandoning herself in order to find herself.

As for the second memory, that is for the tail of this tale, as it were.

* * *

♦ preface ♦ part 1 ♦ part 2 ♦ part 3 ♦ part 4 ♦ part 5 ♦ epilogue ♦