X-Men Apocalypse Alternate HISHE

Ezra/DJ: WHAT!? I HAVE A DAUGHTER?! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I AM A DAD! I HAVE A DAUGHTER EVERYONE! I HAVE A DAUGHTER MASTER SKYWALKER! I HAVE A DAUGHTER MASTER YODA! I HAVE A DAUGHTER AHSOKA! MASTER KENOBI I HAVE A DAUGHTER BECAUSE I AM A DAD NOW AND YOU ARE HER GRANDFATHER NOW!
 * Magneto: Charles, do you have a son?
 * Charles: Legion? Sure. Well there is that one g--- Oh wait Fox told me not to tell you about him yet."
 * Magneto: Mytstique, do you have a son?
 * Mystique: *Nervously glances at Nightcrawler* Uhh, I think it's time I told Kurt the truth
 * Magneto: Don't you ever get tired of it Charles? You and I..... having the same dialog across six movies? We might as well just cut back to older movies to save us the time.
 * Charles: Way ahead of you Eric!
 * Sabine/Holdo: I saw her..... Ezra i saw her...... our daughter[Rey]
 * Obi-Wan: Yes i saw

Darth Vader enters the pub suddenly

Darth Vader: I HAVE A SON

Joker: Yeah... so? I mean lik-

Darth Vader: I HAVE A SONNNN starts shaking joker

Loki: This is going to be a long day!

Voldermort: Wait, didn't he reform?

YEARS LATER

Khan: I don't wanna remember that day... Yikes!

Rest of villain pub: agrees

Ghost Vader and Magneto: WE HAVE A SON

Voldermort: Oh god have mercy on us...

Ghost Yoda: Yes I know how that feels

Voldermort: WHAAT WHO SAID THAT GET AWAYYY


 * -Quicksilver: "Dad, a horde of metal men is destroying the world. Help us!
 * -Magneto: "Can't. Copyright"