OPENING PREVIEWS[]
(We see a black screen momentarily and then hear a judge banging his gavel and yelling "ORDER IN THE COURT! ORDER IN THE COURT!!!" in a rather unconvincing manner. Then the screen lightens up and we see a black-and-white courtroom scene, possibly taken from an old movie. The judge continues speaking. "Respond the question, did you or did you not copy The Return of Jafar," he says to the guilty man in this scene. We see an old woman shaking and gritting her teeth. "Well," the judge says. "I did," the man says in a disgraceful manner. Everyone gasps and the woman shrieks. "Take him away, boys," the judge says to two policemen. After the guilty man is taken away, the green FBI warnings spin up to us briefly. "Don't even think about copying this videotape," the judge says and we hear the sound of a jail door closing)
(After the green FBI warnings, the C.R.E.S. commercial starts playing)
Pia Manalo: Barney loves all of his animal friends. Then to help endangered animals, he made a donation to the San Diego Zoo's C.R.E.S. program!
(After the C.R.E.S. commercial, the Sony Wonder and 1991 Family Home Entertainment logos appear)
(After the Sony Wonder and 1991 Family Home Entertainment logos, the Walt Disney Pictures logo appears, silent clips of Disney movies and some of the Disneyland presentations are shown)
Beau Weaver: From movies...to magical vacations. From the theater...to your living room. There's always something new and emotional from Disney.
(Footage of Arnold Schwarzenegger is shown)
Now, here's a special message......from Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Hi. Do you know that there's something that you can do that will make a fantastic difference in your life? If you exercise, you energize. If you build strength, you build confidence. If you get physical, you get results. Make it a part for your everyday life. It will make your winner in everything you do. Now remember, fitness is for everybody. Then go for it!
(The camera zooms into the theater screen as the screen fades to black)
Beau Weaver: Here's a special preview of Disney's next animated classic coming to theaters.
African Singer: (sings) Nants...ingonyama...bagithi Baba!
African Chorus: (singing) Sithi uhm ingonyama eyi...
Woman: (singing) It's the circle of life! And it moves us all!
Mufasa: We are all connected in the grand Circle of Life.
Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents its all-new 32nd feature-length animated motion picture: "The Lion King".
(Rafiki raises newborn Simba into the air and the animals cheer)
He was born to rule.
Young Simba: (Runs to the edge of Pride Rock) This will all be mine?
Mufasa: Everything the light touches.
Young Simba: Wow.
Mark Elliott: But a shadow lies over the kingdom.
Scar: I will be king!
(Camera zooms in on Young Simba's frightened face)
Run away and never return.
(After a silent clip of the hyenas chasing Young Simba through the gorge, we cut to Banzai shouting as Simba keeps running into the sunset)
Banzai: If you ever come back......we'll murder you!
Pumbaa: Hey, boy, what's eating you?
Young Simba: I don't wanna speak about it.
Timon: He looks blue.
(Screen focuses on Young Simba walking off, separate from the camera)
Pumbaa: I'd say brownish-gold.
Timon: No, no, no, no. I mean he's depressed.
(We cut to Pumbaa speaking to Young Simba)
Pumbaa: Anything we can do?
Young Simba: Not unless you can change the past.
Mark Elliott: He grew up hoping to leave his old life behind.
Rafiki: I know who you are. You're Mufasa's boy.
Nala: (Opens her eyes in realization) You're the king!
Timon: King? Have you found your lions crossed!
Simba: You knew my father? Rafiki: Correction, I know your father.
Simba: I hate to warn you this. But he died, a long time ago.
Rafiki: No! Wrong again! (Runs while laughing) He's alive! And I'll show him to you.
Simba: Father?
Ghost Mufasa: You are my son and the one true king.
Rafiki: You see, he lives in you.
Ghost Mufasa: You must take your place in the Circle of Life.
Nala: Simba!
Mark Elliott: It's a legendary tale, filled with emotion.
Banzai: YOW!!
Mark Elliott: Plus dozens of wonderful new characters.
(Pumbaa shrieks at the sight of Adult Nala)
Timon: Why do I always have to save your... (Shrieks as Adult Nala is about to charge at Timon)
Mark Elliott: And featuring original music and songs by Grammy winner Elton John and Academy Award winner Tim Rice.
Young Simba, Young Nala and Other Animals: (singing) Just can't wait to be king!
Mark Elliott: This summer, Walt Disney Pictures presents an entertainment event you'll never forget!
African Chorus: (singing) The circle of....circle of...liiiiife!
(The title is presented on the final note. As the title fades to black, the red subtitle, "JUNE 24th" fades in, until it also fades to black)
(Screen fades from black, revealing the blue live-action Walt Disney Pictures logo, followed by the Caravan Pictures logo)
Roger Bomman: Dad, um...where we gonna be a family again?
Mark Elliott: A boy searching for a future...
Mr. Bomman: I'd say if the Angels win the pennant.
Ranch Wilder: Williams and Norton collide and the catch is blown!
Mark Elliott: A coach running from his past...
Hank Murphy: Are you cracking up, or is this a repeat of Cincinnati?
George Knox: No, no, it's nothing like that.
Mark Elliott: And the team that's their only prayer.
George Knox: There's a fact called talent. They don't have it!
Roger Bomman: God, if there is a god.....perhaps you can help me win a little. I'd really, really like...a family.
(There is a fight in slow motion)
Holy cow!
George Knox: How did he do that?
Al: Just call me Al.
Ranch Wilder: How did he do that?
Al: No one can see me or hear me but you.
Roger Bomman: Do you...believe in Angels?
Maggie Nelson: I believe in, uh...the possibility of miraculous facts happening.
Roger Bomman: Two angels came out of the heavens and they picked up Ben Williams.
George Knox: Sure, a psycho boy.
Triscuit Messmer: I could feel some aided power coming from somewhere. It must have been these chili dogs I ate before the game.
Ranch Wilder: Unbelievable!
George Knox: Make some kind of signal.
Roger Bomman: I'll go like that, alright?
George Knox: Alright, you do that. It's fine.
Ranch Wilder: Ladies and gentlemen, can we now say the angels are on a winning streak?
Al: Fair ball!
Hank Murphy: You believe...there's real angels?
George Knox: I know it sounds crazy.
Hank Murphy: I'm relieving you of your management responsibilities.
Mark Elliott: Somewhere between losing hope...
George Knox: You can't go through life thinking everyone you meet will one day let you down.
Mark Elliott: And finding the courage.
George Knox: You can call it Angels.
Mel Clark: I won't play for anyone but George Knox.
George Knox: You can call it faith.
Triscuit Messmer: That goes for me, as well.
George Knox: You can call it whatever you want.
Mark Elliott: They gave the world something to believe in.
Mel Clark: I have nothing left.
George Knox: You have an angel with you right now.
Al: Even though you can't see us, we're always watching.
Mark Elliott: "Angels in the Outfield"!
(Screen fades to a black background with white subtitles reading "COMING JULY 15TH TO A THEATER NEAR YOU FROM WALT DISNEY PICTURES")
Beau Weaver: Let's see what's in store for you from Disney Software.
Tom Kane: Absolute Entertainment brings the emotion of an arcade legend home to your Super Nintendo Entertainment system. Experience all the outrageous out-of-this-world action of "Space Ace". Being the defender of the truth, justice and the planet Earth has a lot of upside. You have rugged brief looks, rippling muscles and a beautiful girlfriend named Kimmy. Then there's the hard part. You're pitted against the evil Commander Borg, who's blasted you with his dastardly infanto ray and turned you into a little boy, took Kimmy and is threatened to conquer the Earth. And on top of all that, your name is Dexter. Your job, rescue the girl. Run the naughty guy out of the solar system and regain your manhood. Not necessarily in that order. It's Absolute Entertainment's "Space Ace" for the Super Nintendo Entertainment system!
Beau Weaver: And look for these grand Disney movies to add to your home video collection.
Radio: Listen to this!
("Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard playing)
Beau Weaver: Walt Disney Home Video presents "The Brave Little Toaster". A beautifully animated musical tale of loyalty and courage that's sure to warm your hearts and brighten your spirits.
Lampy: Wow.
Beau Weaver: Five very special household appliances who are suddenly left alone.
Air Conditioner: We've been dumped. Abandoned!
Beau Weaver: Take off on an adventure in search of the small boy who loves them.
Toaster: We're not gonna give up hope.
Beau Weaver: This captivating movie is a Parents' Choice Award winner.
Radio: Oh, listen to this!
Beau Weaver: And the Chicago Sun-Times called it "an adorable adventure that children will treasure!"
Appliances: (cheering)
Beau Weaver: You'll love "The Brave Little Toaster". A famous musical journey that's sure to delight everyone!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the blue live-action Walt Disney Pictures logo)
Brian Cummings: Walt Disney Pictures presents...
Aramis: You're under arrest.
Porthos: Five of them, three of us. Hardly seems fair.
D'Artagnan: Excuse me, but there's four of us.
Porthos: Now, we are ready to exist.
Girard: Run!
Brian Cummings: The biggest heroes that never lived.
Cardinal Richelieu: I want these Musketeers. Dead...or alive!
Porthos: Champagne?
Athos: We're in the middle of a chase, Porthos.
Porthos: You're right. Something red.
Aramis: We must pay for our sins.
Brian Cummings: Charlie Sheen.
Aramis: On second thought, heaven's awfully busy.
Brian Cummings: Kiefer Sutherland.
Athos: Save the king!
Brian Cummings: Chris O'Donnell.
Girard: Long live the Musketeers!
Brian Cummings: Oliver Platt.
Porthos: That's it. Next time, you drive.
Brian Cummings: Tim Curry.
Cardinal Richelieu: A snap of my fingers, and you could be back on the block where I found you!
Brian Cummings: And Rebecca deMornay.
Milady de Winter: And with a flick of my wrist, I could change your religion.
Brian Cummings: "The Three Musketeers". Rated PG!
(The blue live-action Walt Disney Pictures logo fades in)
Jack Stoneman: If you want something real hard, you have to go out where you can find it and grab it.
Will Stoneman: I want to feel alive. I want to feel like Dad's alive. He was gonna do this for me. Now, let me do it for him.
J.W. Harper: We are here about a race!
Tom Kane: A boy thrust into manhood.
Borg Guillarson: Ah, let them race. He won't last through the first day.
Will Stoneman: I'll last as long as any man here. Including you, mister.
Ned Dodd: Five thousand twenty-two miles!
Borg Guillarson: This is the meanest stretch of land that heavens ever put together.
Maggie Stoneman: Ten thousand dollars, Will. You don't have to die for it.
Angus McTeague: I'll wager five thousand dollars. He doesn't make Heartbreak Hotel.
Will Stoneman: Whoo-hoo!
Dinky: You have one chance. You must run at night if the others have stopped.
Borg Guillarson: You ever had frostbite? You will. Your fingers and toes. They're gonna look like this.
Will Stoneman: I'm not quitting.
Tom Kane: A challenge as deadly as nature's fury as man's greed.
Borg Guillarson: What's the matter, boy? You afraid?
Tom Kane: A will as strong as iron.
Man: The boy's in the league.
Woman: Entire country's rooting for you!
Reporter: Iron Will Stoneman! Iron Will Stoneman!
Man: The boy has the heart of a bear. Catch him. Stop him.
Will Stoneman: Gus! You tried to murder my dog!
Tom Kane: In the classic tradition of Walt Disney adventures comes the incredible story...
Becker: Will! Train's coming!
Will Stoneman: Let's go! Let's go!
Tom Kane: Of a boy who faced his fears...
Will Stoneman: Come near me or my team again. I'll murder you outright!
Tom Kane: And rallied a nation......
Man: It's Stoneman. It's not possible!
Tom Kane: To believe...
Will Stoneman: Attaboy, we'll give them something to speak about back home!
Tom Kane: In a dream. "Iron Will"!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Walt Disney Pictures logo)
Mark Elliott: The only fact harder than turning losers into champions is doing it twice.
Lester Averman: The quack attack is back, Jack!
Gordon Bombay: Are you ready to fly?
Mark Elliott: The Mighty Ducks are back!
Greg Goldberg: Oh, dear!
Mark Elliott: Their game is as best as ever!
Gordon Bombay: Haven't you guys been training in the off-season?
Lester Averman: I knew we forgot something.
Mark Elliott: But they're adding some new players.
Dwayne Robertson: Yee-haw!
Mark Elliott: And now, they're heading to California...
Dean Portman: Let's rock!
Mayor of Halloween Town: Yes!
Mark Elliott: For the World Championships.
Sports Announcer: This year, the team to beat is Iceland.
Wolf Stansson: We'll see you on the ice!
Lester Averman: Ice is bigger and stronger. They have more facial hair.
Mark Elliott: But if they want to go for the gold, they'll have to learn to become a team again.
Charlie Conway: Move together!
Gordon Bombay: We came here as a team, and we're leaving here as a team.
Lester Averman: Bring 'em on! We're ready!
All: Go Ducks!
Mark Elliott: Emilio Estevez.
Gordon Bombay: Stand tall. Fly straight. USA!
All: All the road!
Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents "D2: The Mighty Ducks" are back!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Touchstone Home Video logo)
Tony Clarkin: From Touchstone Home Video, get ready for a movie the critics have unanimously declared absolutely the year's most incredible film and an instant classic for both children and grown-ups.
Sally: Ooh!
Tony Clarkin: Siskel and Ebert gave two thumbs up!
Jack Skellington: Eureka!
Tony Clarkin: From the imagination of Tim Burton comes "The Nightmare Before Christmas".
Lock, Shock and Barrel: Trick or treat!
Santa Claus: What?
Tony Clarkin: Enter an extraordinary world where every day is Halloween...
Ghosts: Whoo!
Tony Clarkin: And every night, Jack Skellington dreams of something more.
Jack Skellington: Woaahhhh!!!! (sings) What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere. What's this? There's white facts in the air. What's this? I can't believe my eyes. I must be dreaming. Wake up, Jack! This isn't fair! WHAT...IS...THIS?!
Saxophone Player: Nice work, Bone Daddy.
Tony Clarkin: As Jack discovers the magic of Christmas, he decides to fill Santa's shoes.
Mummy Boy: (singing) Making Christmas!
People of Halloween Town: (singing) Making Christmas! La-la-la!
Jack Skellington: To the head of the team, Zero.
Tony Clarkin: And now, he's turning the holiday world upside down. Touchstone Home Video presents the enchanting tale of two very special dreamers and the holiday spirit that brought them together. Soon you can own the movie that's a fun-filled delight for the entire family. Tim Burton's "The Nightmare Before Christmas".
Mother: And what did Santa bring you, darling?
Timmie's Parents: AARRGGHH!!
(After the cutout, the screen fades to a black background with the yellow subtitles reading "COMING TO VIDEO THIS FALL")
Tony Clarkin: Coming to video this fall. Rated PG!
(After the black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo, the screen fades over to the dwarfs mining for diamonds)
Doc: (sings) Heigh-ho.
Mark Elliott: It's your favorite Disney movie of all time!
Seven Dwarfs: (singing) Heigh-ho.
Mark Elliott: It's the one you've been waiting for!
Seven Dwarfs: (singing) Heigh-ho, heigh-ho...
Mark Elliott: And now, it's eventually coming to home video!
Seven Dwarfs: (singing) Heigh-ho, heigh-ho!
Mark Elliott: Walt Disney's masterpiece: "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs".
Seven Dwarfs: Hooray!
Mark Elliott: It's the classic story of a beautiful princess...
The Evil Queen: Who is the fairest one of all?
Magic Mirror: Snow White.
The Evil Queen: Snow White!
Mark Elliott: The evil queen who would stop at nothing to destroy her...
Evil Queen: A poison apple. Have a bite. And I'll be fairest in the land!
(The Evil Queen aims her potion into the lightning bolt into the stormy heavens)
Seven Dwarfs: The Queen! Snow White!
Mark Elliott: And the Seven Dwarfs who came to the rescue.
Grumpy: We must save her!
Snow White: Aah!
(The screen flashes during a thunderclap, revealing the seven dwarfs riding deer through the forest as it rains)
Mark Elliott: It's the first time on video for Snow White, Sleepy, Doc, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy...
Grumpy: Ha!
Mark Elliott: Dopey and...
Sneezy: Eeh-ahh-oh-ahh-oh-ehh-ah...
(Sneezy inhales twice, until Dopey and Grumpy plug up their nostrils)
Mark Elliott: Sneezy.
Sneezy: Achoo!
Mark Elliott: Now you can experience all the magic...
Grumpy: Mush!
Mark Elliott: And all the fun....
(Dopey sprays water in his ears)
of the biggest animated motion picture of all time. Walt Disney's timeless classic, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". Coming to videocassette for a very limited time. Don't miss your chance to share Disney's masterpiece with your family!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the title card, "PLEASE STAY TUNED FOLLOWING THIS VIDEO PRESENTATION FOR PREVIEWS OF OTHER SESAME STREET HOME VIDEOS AND AUDIO PRODUCTS")
(Screen fades from black, revealing a purple background. The words "Feature Presentation" are written out during a fanfare)
Beau Weaver: And now, our feature presentation.
(The Walt Disney Video Premiere logo is seen and the screen fades to black)
(The THX logo is revealed and the screen fades to black)
(The Turner logo is shown and the movie starts)
MOVIE[]
(Screen cuts from black, revealing a desert, night. As the movie opens, the peddler, who started off last time, sings a different version of "Arabian Nights" as a band of thieves ride through the night toward parts unknown following a raid in an also undisclosed location)
Peddler: (sings) Follow me to a place where incredible feats
Are routine every hour or so
Where enchantment runs rampant
Yes, wild in the streets Open sesame, here we go! Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
They tease in emotion
Take off and take flight
They shock and amaze
Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of best fashions
(As the song continues, the thieves and their steeds ride towards an opening in a tall ridge. They cross over a pit, through a long tunnel and into the ruins of an underground temple, which is revealed to be their hideout)
Pack your shields, pack your swords
You won't ever get bored
Though get beaten or gored you might
Come on down, stop on fast Jump a carpet and fly
To another Arabian night!
Arabian niiiiight!
(The song ends, and the thieves enter their hideout. Decayed or fallen columns litter the area, and several other unknown thieves peer from behind them as their comrades return with the loot they have plundered, mostly gold coins, jewels, and a chest)
Thief #1: This night has been quite rewarding.
Thief #2: (laughing) We have never stolen so much. (as he talks, a furry hand snatches a golden cup from him and other things from Thief #1, but they take no notice) We have gathered much loot tonight. No thanks to our leader.
(The two thieves look frustratedly towards a short, obese man with tan skin, black hair and goatee wearing a turban and red shoes. This is their so-called "leader", Abis Mal. As we see him, he has his hand stuck in the neck of a vase. He eventually pulls it free and lands on a rock, but the vase wobbles and breaks. His men frown at him for his blunder)
Abis Mal: (defensively) Well, it only looked expensive. (opens the chest to reveal its contents are several golden items) Is this a haul or what, my surly band of desert skunks?
(Mal reaches into the chest, and takes out what appears to be a crystallized flower. He then puts it in his belt, irking his men even further)
Thief #1: How is this you get the jeweled flower, Abis Mal?
Abis Mal: (smug) Why, this is my bonus for being your beloved leader. (points to the chest and a burlap sack complete with jewels) This and that and that are my beloved leader bonus.
Thief #1: And what is *our* reward?
All Thieves: Huh?
Abis Mal: (hands them a small bag of coins) Here you go. Nice work, boys. Very successful raid.
(This, as anyone can imagine, is the last straw for the thieves. But before they can throttle Mal for his greediness, the chest suddenly gets up and moves, as if by magic)
Thief #1: The chest! It moves!
Thief #2: It cannot be!
Thief #1: What is holding it up?
Abis Mal: (shrieking, frightened) Ah! Ghosts!
(But one of the thieves, seeing something the others do not, picks up the chest and reveals that it is being carried by none other than Abu, Aladdin's pet monkey. Abu, realizing he no longer has the chest, stops and looks up)
Abu: (hesitantly) Hello.
Abis Mal: (frustratedly grabs Abu) You foolish monkey!
Aladdin: (off-screen) Put him down, Abis Mal!
(Abu pulls Mal's turban over his head. A second later, a young man wearing puffy white pants, yellowish-brown shoes, a vest and a fez walks on the heads of Mal's men and steps in front of him. This is our hero, Aladdin. Then Abu scrambles up to his shoulder)
Abis Mal: Who are you?
Aladdin: My friends call me Al. You can call me Aladdin.
Abis Mal: Hurt him!
(Mal's men charge at Aladdin with their swords drawn, ready to tear him asunder. They jump at him from all sides, but as the dust clears, the street rat is nowhere to be found)
Thieves: What? Where did he go?
(While they're distracted, Aladdin grabs the sack complete with the thieves' loot and runs away)
Thief #1: There!
Thief #2: He has our loot!
Abis Mal: Don't let him get away! He must not escape!
(Aladdin leaps over a wall and onto the back of a horse, but it bucks him away. Thief #3 takes a swipe at him, but misses)
Thief #3: Why, you...
Aladdin: (grabs a candelabra from the sack and uses it to catch his opponent's sword) Hey!
(Aladdin flings the sword off, and it slices away part of Mal's turban, frustrating him. Thief #3 tries to slash him again, but only ends up cutting a rope. It goes up, taking Aladdin with it. The thieves all look up frustratedly, but soon are hit by what's on the other end of the rope; a ceiling lamp. Aladdin jumps off the rope, but is greeted below by the thieves, who raise their swords up, hoping he will impale himself on them. But just as Aladdin is about to be skewered, Carpet flies in, saves him and zooms over Mal's head)
Abis Mal: A flying carpet? He has a flying carpet
Aladdin: Nice catch, Carpet.
(Carpet flies Aladdin over the thieves, too fast for them to even get close to them)
Abu: PBBBBBBTTT!!!
Aladdin: Pardon me!
(Aladdin circles around a thief and tugs at his belt, spinning him around, and causing him to bowl the others over. Meanwhile, Aladdin spots the rest of the loot and catches it as he swoops down)
Aladdin: Yes!
Abis Mal: Come back here!
(Mal grabs onto Carpet as it whisks past him. He frowns at Abu, who sees the jeweled flower and swipes it)
Abis Mal: That's mine! (realizes, albeit useless, that he let go of Carpet) Woah!
(Mal plummets into the hand of a statue, and it falls with him. Then he is conked on the head by a falling stone)
Aladdin: Next stop, Agrabah.
Thieves: Shut the door! He's escaping!
(They try to close the hideout doors, hoping to trap Aladdin, but the street rat slips through just as the doors close. He, along with his ride and monkey, fly out into the desert just as dawn begins to break)
(Screen fades to the desert, day. A gentle breeze blows across the landscape, which is mostly sand dunes and rocks jutting out of them. Just then, where the Cave of Wonders once stood, a small lump of sand starts to form. It is revealed to be Iago, the sassy speaking parrot henchman of Jafar. He emerges, coughing and spitting out sand as he digs his way out)
Iago: Eventually! (groaning) This is terrific! UNNNGGGGGHHHH!!
(He eventually frees himself from the sand, his lower half stuck in Jafar's lamp. As soon as he lands, he pats his ears, dislodging several clods of sand from them)
Iago: I have sand in places I didn't even know I had.
Jafar: (from inside his lamp) Spare me your prattling, Iago! Are we out yet?
Iago: (annoyed; mocking Jafar) "Are we out yet? Are we out yet?" (normal voice) Yes, we're out! No thanks to you. (jumps around, trying to get his legs out of the lamp, which clanks as he does so) If it weren't for me, you'd be stuck down there forever! OOHHHH!!!!
(Though he is unseen for now, Jafar frustratedly blasts Iago out of his lamp, and he gets his head stuck in a sand dune)
Jafar: IAGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will now release me......where that I may have my revenge.
(Iago pulls his head out of the sand and shakes it away)
Iago: Yes, yes, if I'm nice and ready.
Jafar: DO AS I SAY, YOU WORTHLESS PIPSQUEAK!!
(Iago, who is starting to think Jafar has took him for granted all this time, flies over to his lamp to remind him who the real brains of their outfit is)
Iago: You know something? You're nothing without me.
Jafar: (outraged) What?!
Iago: Who comes up with all the best ideas? Me! Who does all the work? ME!!
Jafar: If it weren't for me, you'd yet be in a cage at the bazaar, squawking, "Polly want a cracker!"
(This just makes Iago even angrier. Having to spend a year in a lamp with very little to no leg room with Jafar is bad enough, but having to be reminded at what he was before they met is truly the last straw. Then the irked parrot breaks into song)
Iago: (sings) That's it! I've had it!
I hate to be dramatic,
but it's time for me to fly the coop.
(Jafar blasts him, shaving away some feathers on the top of his head)
Terrific, well, fine!
I'm drawing the line,
Before I wind up in a parachute.
(He grabs Jafar's lamp and flies away towards a well)
I was a fool to let you run the show.
Jafar: (overlapping) What are you doing here?!
Iago: (singing) I'm cutting ya loose, pal.
Watch out below!
(Jafar falls shrieking as Iago drops his lamp in the well, which is about 1/4 complete with water)
Jafar: (overlapping) NoooooOOOO!!!!
Iago: (singing) Arrivederci, c'est la vie.
Hope all goes well.
I'm looking out for me!
(Screen fades to Agrabah, marketplace. Iago has gone there in hopes of reinventing himself)
Agrabah. Just a juicy golden goose ready for plucking... and I'm the one holding the tweezers. I'll be running this town inside a week! (turns and points a "finger" up a camel's nose) What's your problem, liver lips? You don't think I can do it?!
Alright, I'm little,
been playing second fiddle,
and I don't get no respect.
(The camel spits on Iago's tail, and he lands on a fence next to a goat)
I turn the other cheek,
but this busted beak
is the only thanks that I get!
(Omar, the fruit stand proprietor, is cleaning his stand as he suddenly notices a bunch of grapes moving by themselves. He picks them up, revealing Iago trying to steal them. He takes out a dagger and tries to stab Iago, but he flies off)
I never found a friend that I can trust.
They promise caviar and leave me eating dust.
(Iago lands on a flock of sheep being led by a shepherd and eats some of the grapes he managed to get away with)
That's some reward for loyalty.
From here on in....
I'm looking out for me!
(Cut to a jewelry stand. The proprietor there is examining an emerald necklace as he sees Iago wearing a turban, another necklace and several rings. Annoyed at the bird pilfering his wares, he frowns at Iago)
Ohh, I don't need nobody else.
I'll never fail.
I'll cover my own tail.
(On the next line, Iago flies away, evading several people who try to grab him and he lands on the back of an elephant. Several other animals, which include pigeons, camels, sheep and ducks dance with him. Then he slides off the elephant's trunk and resumes his dance)
I can take care of myself!
You know, it just don't pay to give a hoot.
I'm giving all my heart.
What do I get? The boot!
I'm through with that,
I'm flapping free.
From here on in....
I'm looking out for meeeee!
(As the song ends, Iago is hit with a watermelon and splatters against a wall, covered in juice and in grand pain. Omar and the other shopkeepers walk off, shaking their fists at the thieving parrot)
Omar: Steal from us again, and your scrawny body will be dinner for the jackals!
Iago: (moans) No problem.
(Then he slides off the wall and onto the ground, smashing into some pottery)
(Screen cuts to the marketplace, day. The flying object is revealed to be Aladdin and Abu. He takes the loot he stole from Abis Mal and throws it to the ground below)
Abu: What?
(Abu, willing to keep the treasure, freaks out and drapes himself over the sack, refusing to stay put)
Abu: No! No!
Aladdin: Abu!
Abu: No!
Aladdin: We're not the ones who need this money.
(Aladdin throws a gold stick down, and it is caught by an old man, who grins happily. The next of receive some of the gold is a poor woman and her children. They rejoice at their newfound fortune)
Poor Mother: A miracle!
Agrabah Citizen #1: Rain on me!
Agrabah Citizen #2: Gold from the heavens!
(Meanwhile, Abu dejectedly flicks a small emerald to the ground. Then Aladdin takes the jeweled flower from his vest)
Aladdin: Don't worry, Abu. I'm not throwing everything.
Abu: (triumphantly) Yes!
Aladdin: This is for Jasmine.
Abu: (shocked) No!
(Carpet makes his road up to the palace towers. Meanwhile, Aladdin lands on one of the palace's balconies, and immediately flinches at something off-screen)
Aladdin: Woah!
(The off-screen fact is revealed to be Rajah, Jasmine's tiger, who growls at the street rat and his pet monkey)
Abu: (Hides behind Magic Carpet) Oops.
(Rajah advances on Aladdin, not fond of his intrusion, and gets ready to attack. Aladdin stretches his arms in front of him to try and calm the ferocious tiger)
Aladdin: Easy, Rajah. You know me. Aladdin? (Rajah jumps on him, and eventually recognizing the street rat, licks his face affectionately) Alright, Rajah, that's it. I'm glad to see you, as well.
(Rajah gets off of Aladdin, and Abu sighs in relief, knowing the tiger won't try to cut them to pieces. Aladdin gets up and re-composes himself)
Aladdin: How do I look?
(Rajah and Abu look at Aladdin in confusion, not knowing how he can look any different than before being pounced)
Jasmine: (off-screen) I think you look fine.
Aladdin: Jasmine!
Jasmine: (to Aladdin) How were you? I missed you.
Aladdin: I had to pick up a few facts. This is for you.
(Everyone gasps silently at the jeweled flower, and even Jasmine is amazed)
Jasmine: Oh, Aladdin! It's lovely!
Abu: (imitating Jasmine) "Oh, it's lovely!"
Jasmine: (kisses Aladdin) It must've cost a fortune.
Aladdin: Oh, dear, it was a steal.
(Jasmine places the jeweled flower in a vase in her room, and Abu eyes it through a window)
Jasmine: Father wants you to join us for dinner tonight. He's going to make a royal announcement.
Aladdin: And he wants me there?
Jasmine: It's about you.
Aladdin: Am I in danger?
Jasmine: Well, let's just say this is a dinner you don't want to miss.
(Abu, who is hiding under Jasmine's vanity, reaches up and tries to take the jeweled flower, but gets a lily instead)
Aladdin: Jasmine, what's going on?
Jasmine: I promised Father I wouldn't spoil his surprise. You've made quite an impression, you know.
(Abu reaches up again, and this time, he actually gets the jeweled flower. But before he can drag it back under, Rajah puts out a paw and stops him. The monkey peeks out, and seeing the tiger growling at him, looks at him hesitantly)
Aladdin: Then I'm not in danger?
Jasmine: Of course not! You defeated Jafar, saved Agrabah and rescued a princess. Aladdin, you are a hero.
Aladdin: Yes, I guess so. That's me. Ready for anything! (sees Rajah chasing Abu, who has got the jeweled flower) Abu!
(Abu runs up a curtain and blows a raspberry at Rajah, thinking he is out of the tiger's reach, but the latter pulls on it with his mouth and the monkey falls over. Then he bounces away from Carpet and into a powder case, spraying it all over him and Aladdin)
Jasmine: (chuckles) You may want to change before dinner, though.
(Abu holds up the jeweled flower to show it's unharmed, but Aladdin just looks at him sternly)
(Cut to the palace gates. Sitting on top and looking down is none other than Iago, who, since his little musical number from chapter 1, is bemoaning his mournful predicament)
Iago: Seems like only yesterday, Jafar was running Agrabah, and I was his right-hand bird. (frustrated about Aladdin) But then he had to go and mess facts up! Now, I'm stuck on the outside looking. I must get back into the palace, (gasps) back into power!
(Cut to the palace, front door. Aladdin is dressed in his Prince Ali outfit, and along with Abu dressed similarly, gets ready for a stroll in the marketplace)
Aladdin: Well, my darling Abu, shall we see what the common folk are doing today?
Abu: Let's go!
Aladdin: (laughing) We have time for a stroll before our audience with the Sultan.
(Meanwhile, as they begin their walk, Iago looks down and is shocked to see that Aladdin and Abu now reside in the palace)
Iago: The street rat is living in the palace now? (outraged) Gah! That does it! All reports are in; life is now officially unfair! (suddenly gets an idea) But wait! Wait a second here! This is perfect! (flies off the gates and onto the ground toward where Aladdin and Abu are) That boy is my ticket back into power. (smears dust all over him to look like he has been through a fight) I'll just get Aladdin on my side with a little sympathy act. Then I'll be back in the palace again faster than you can say "Easy Street." (wearily) Aladdin!
Aladdin: What?
Iago: (crawling on the ground) Boy...eventually....got free...of...Jafar.
Aladdin: Iago! What are you doing here?
Iago: Where are you? Getting dark...hold me...
(Aladdin, not fooled by the parrot's facade, tries to grab him and he immediately flies up)
Iago: Hey, I meant gentle-like!
Aladdin: You're not fooling anyone!
(Aladdin tries to make a grab for Iago while he tries to plead his case and get his sympathy)
Iago: No, wait, I'm serious! I was under Jafar's power! He mesmerized me with his snake staff! (makes himself look like Jafar's staff) Just like the Sultan.
(Iago flies away with Aladdin in pursuit, trying to nab him and bring him to justice)
Aladdin: You traitor, you!
(Suddenly, Aladdin runs smack into a familiar face; one of Abis Mal's men. He looks up to see that Mal is also there with the thief he bumped into, plus two more of his men and about twenty masked thieves, looking down and attempting to remember Aladdin in his current outfit)
Abis Mal: You...look familiar.
Both 2 Thieves: (annoyed) It's Aladdin.
Abis Mal: (surprised) Where?! It is? I knew that! Hurt him a lot! Hurt him and his monkey and his bird, as well!
(As if on cue, Aladdin jumps out of the road of Mal's men and back against a stack of barrels. Aladdin bumps the stack, and two of them fall on the first two thieves. The third just barges through and tries to cut them, but Aladdin uses a barrel as a shield. Then he throws the barrel at the thief, and it breaks on Thief #1, who raises his sword to stab Iago)
Thief #1: Treacherous parrot!
Iago: Look, I'm not with him!
(Thief #1 chases after Iago. Aladdin grabs a wooden pole from a broken stand and uses it to defend himself. Thief #1, yet chasing Iago, is soon interrupted by the other two thieves landing on him)
Iago: Monkey, help! They're after me!
(Mal, brandishing a fish, raises it and pounces on Iago, wrecking the concession stand. On Aladdin's end, he is yet using the wooden pole he snatched to defend himself, but soon it splits in two. Mal's men advance on him menacingly)
Thief #3: You won't dance out of this one!
(Iago, who is stuck in a watermelon by his head, pulls himself out)
Iago: That's it! Now I'm mad!
(Mal, stuck with his fish in his mouth and tangled in debris, spits it out and gets up to fight. He only takes two steps before slipping on the very fish he took. Meanwhile, two of Mal's men have Aladdin hostage while Thief #3 gets ready to eviscerate him. However, Iago is perched on a balcony, ready to make his move)
Iago: Mess with this bird, right?
(The parrot nudges a planter with a palm tree in it onto a board where Mal is lying, and it catapults him into his own men, bowling them over and freeing Aladdin. Then they land in a cart complete with chickens)
Iago: And I've had more where that came from!
Abu: Pah!
Egg Merchant: My eggs–– Ruined! Who will pay for them?
Abis Mal: (annoyed) Oh, go away.
Egg Merchant: Guards! Guards!
Razoul: What is the damage here?
Fazal: It is that thief, Abis Mal!
(Thief #1, however, soon pulls on the reins of the horse pulling the hen cart, and it rides away with Mal and his men on board. Razoul and the other guards chase after them)
Abis Mal: Woah!
Razoul: After them!
Iago: Jerks.
Aladdin: Thanks for your help. You saved me.
Iago: I did? Right! Oh, yes! Of course I saved you! It's my nature. I'm always rescuing facts. Cats, babies, guys like you, always rescuing.
(Abu, yet not willing to trust Iago despite him saving Aladdin's life, wraps him in Aladdin's turban)
Iago: Hey, what's going on?! Is this any fashion to treat your rescuer?! (as Iago's speaking, Aladdin thinks for a moment) You owe me, pal! I saved your life!
(Abu is about to bean Iago with what looks like a sausage, but Aladdin stops him, realizing Iago's right about owing him for the rescue)
Aladdin: Abu, wait! He's right. I do owe him.
Abu: What?
Aladdin: I'll see that the Sultan gives him a fair hearing.
Iago: (shocked) What?! (Cut to the palace garden. He is locked up in a birdcage and tries to fly out, but his beak gets stuck) The Sultan?!
Aladdin: (locks the cage) Don't worry, I'll talk to him, soften him up a little.
Iago: Are you joking? He hates me! (pulls his beak out) And what about the princess?!
Aladdin: Huh? No problem. I just have to make sure that Jasmine doesn't see you until I've gotten her ready.
(Little does he know, but Jasmine has heard every word he said)
Jasmine: Gotten me ready for what?
Aladdin: (surprised and hesitant) Ah! I mean...uh, um, for the...for the...for the stain...Abu had on the brand new vest you gave him.
Abu: I did not!
Jasmine: I don't see a stain.
Aladdin: (walks away with Jasmine) Uh, well, no problem then. Off to dinner! Can't wait for that surprise.
Jasmine: (to Aladdin) Is something wrong?
Aladdin: (stammering) What? Wrong? Oh, c'mon! No, no, no, everything's just fine.
Jasmine: (suggestively) You aren't...hiding anything from me, are you? Any more...secrets?
Aladdin: S-s-s-s-secrets? (clears throat) Of course not! I almost lost you once that fashion. I'll never make that mistake again.
Both: What?
(At that moment, the ground begins to shake. Everyone looks around to see what's going on. Then a whirlpool of water appears down on the pool and makes a very artistic and big splash, along with everyone huddling together. Suddenly, the source of the disturbance is revealed to be...Genie wearing a Hawaiian shirt, hat, surfboard, bags of souvenirs and a luau necklace, having come back from his vacation. He jumps away from the wave with Aladdin and Jasmine grinning at his return)
Genie: He's big, he's blue and he's back! (breaks the fourth wall with his face getting closer to the audience)
(They all lean in to hug him, but as they do so, his skin suddenly turns red)
Aladdin: Genie!
Jasmine: You came back!
Genie: OOH, AH, OH! WATCH THE SUNBURN!! (turns back to his usual blue color) HA!!! Joking! Did you miss me? Be honest. (to Abu) Take care of these, my nice mammal.
(Genie hands Abu his luggage, and the monkey falls to the ground from the immense weight)
Abu: Woah!
Genie: Careful, they're heavy! Hang on, I have souvenirs for everybody!
(He hands several souvenirs to everyone, which is the following: Aladdin; a sombrero from Mexico, Jasmine; a small totem pole from South Dakota, USA, Abu; a baseball cap, a pennant and a hot dog, Carpet; a dancing hula girl statue)
Genie: Whoo! She dances!
Aladdin: (takes off his sombrero) You saw the entire world already?
Genie: (sings as four "It's a Small World" figures) It's a small world after all! (speaking) But Agrabah has something that no other place in the world has. (as a red firework rocket with Aladdin and Jasmine riding on him and blasting away from Agrabah to the world) You guys! (breaks into song)
I parachuted down into the Taj Mahal
I rollerbladed all along the Grand, Big Wall
I even made the famous leaning tower fall
But who was with me through it all?
Nobody!
(as a bear-like fashion) The Moscow Circus hired me to fly trapeze
On Mount Olympus, won a race with Hercules
(in a toga chased by frustrated wasps) It's easy if you're chased by...murderous bees!
Who said "Gesundheit" till I sneezed?
AH-CHOO!!
(emerging from a taxi in New York City) Then now I'm home
Home again with you
(as the Sun) You chase the clouds away
Wherever I am blue
Aladdin: (speaking) You're always blue.
Genie: (as a sarcophagus, then a green-skinned mummy) Land of the pyramids
I highly recommend
(appears in front of the Pyramid of Giza with Aladdin and Jasmine's faces in the statues) There is nothing in the world
Quite like a friend
Slept like a babe in Bombay on a bed of nails
(appears in Aladdin's hands as a belly dancer) Moroccans loved my daring Dance of Seven Veils
(as a fisherman throwing a whale out of a fishbowl) Why, single-handedly, I even saved the whales
No one was there to hear my tales
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo!!
(as a pinata, then a mariachi musician with Aladdin and Jasmine) In Acapulco, joined a mariachi band
(as an old prospector riding a rubber raft into a trumpet Aladdin is playing) I rode the raging rapids down the Rio Grande
Flew in an air balloon, but since I tried to land
(as a pilot) Nobody laughed or lent a hand
(Everyone in the balloon suddenly falls out with Genie saluting all the road, then appearing in a safari outfit)
Without you, the Amazon is just a trickle
(as an Eskimo) Without you, the Sahara's not so hot
(as a faucet) Without you, Niagara Falls is just a leaky faucet
(as a British admiral) The Q.E.II is just some yacht
(Genie breaks a bottle over a yacht, but appears as it and sails toward a balcony in the palace with both teams aboard. In a second, he appears on deck as the yacht drops anchor)
Now that I'm home
Home again, it's clear
All I ever wanted
Seems to be right here
(grows two more heads) I've traveled
Left Genie head: (singing) East
Right Genie head: (singing) And west
All 3 heads: (singing) And now I'm back again
Genie: (lassos Aladdin and Jasmine while singing) And there's nothing in the world quite like a friend
Aladdin: (singing) There's nothing in the world
Jasmine: (singing) Nothing in the entire wide world
All: (singing) There is nothing in the world quite like a frieeeeend!
Genie: (spins a globe in his hand while singing) Nothing in the entire wide world!
Aladdin: Well, Genie, how does it feel to be free?
Genie: (dryly) Seriously? (emotionally) I love it!
(He stretches upward, but there is a loud crack as his back goes out)
Genie: Alright, perhaps my powers aren't what they used to be. Let's say they're semi-phenomenal, almost cosmic, (shrinking down to toy-size) but don't sell me short. I may be free, but I yet have some magic in me. (as a magician) I can yet do this! (makes a bouquet of flowers appear, but one attaches to his face and sucks it off; muffled) Hey! (retrieves his face and puts it back on) Hate to lose face in front of you guys. Give me another chance. (conjures up a box used to saw a person in half) Who's first? I can do this!
Aladdin: Um, Genie, we have to go to.....
Jasmine: (realizing) Dinner! We're late!
Genie: (disappointed) Oh, you all probably have a romantic dinner for two planned. You don't need a big blue lug gumming up the works.
Aladdin: But, Genie...
Genie: Three's a crowd. You guys go ahead.
Jasmine: Genie, I would be honored if you'd join us for dinner.
Genie: (happy) You would? C'mon, everyone! Get in here! Home cooking? Let's go!
Abu: Oh, boy!
Aladdin: Not you, Abu. You have a job to do, remember?
Abu: What?
Aladdin: You have to guard Iago.
Abu: (disappointed) Oh!
(Aladdin walks away, and Genie appears in front of him as a cowboy)
Genie: Giddy-up, slow-poke. What's keeping ya?
Aladdin: Nothing! Well, something but, I'll warn you later.
(Fade to the desert, the well where Iago threw Jafar's lamp, night. Abis Mal and his men are recuperating from their skirmish with Aladdin. Mal is pulling on a rope coming out of the well)
Abis Mal: That stinking Aladdin. First chance I get, I'll slice him in half.
(But contrary to Mal's words, his men are standing at the bottom of the sand dune, watching their soon-to-be former leader and growing tired of his incompetence and greed)
Thief #1: That stinking Abis Mal.
Thief #2: First chance we get, let's slice him in half.
Abis Mal: Hey, get over here and wash up! It's bad enough that we have to look at you without having to smell you.
Thief #2: Come, we do it now. No witnesses.
(Mal splashes some water from the well collected in a bucket over his head to wash up. However, that isn't all that comes out, as Jafar's lamp conks him on the head. He picks it up)
Abis Mal: Ow! What is this? Then help me, I'll sue whoever runs this well! A lamp? Well, well, it might be worth a few shackles once it's cleaned up.
(But as he rubs it, Mal's men raise their swords, eventually ready to finish off with their ex-leader)
Thief #2: It will be of little use to you, Abis Mal, except to light your road to the Valley of the Dead!
(But before Mal's men have a chance to respond, Jafar's lamp starts to spew red smoke, and in anticipation of a disaster or evil spirit, they mount their horses and run like the dickens)
Thief #2: It is bewitched!
(As the smoke starts to take shape, Jafar’s evil laughing fills the air, and he eventually appears in his genie form. Mal, however, looks up in confusion, somewhat hesitant, having never seen a genie before, let alone one like Jafar)
Jafar: I am free! Free to exact vengeance upon he who has imprisoned me! (But as he flies away, his golden cuffs glow and hold him in place, preventing him from going any further. As he turns around, he sees that his lamp is also glowing) It is the curse of the lamp. All the power in the universe, and I am bound by the rules of the genie! Which means I can't murder that upstart, Aladdin! (suddenly realizes Mal may be of some use to him after all) Unless...I have someone arrange it for me. Take me to Agrabah at once!
(Mal, yet afraid within an inch of his life, just flinches afar and gibbers like an idiot)
Jafar: I suppose I am a bit too much for his limited mind. (He transforms to a much less intimidating form, similar to his Royal Vizier outfit) I trust you'll find me a little less overwhelming now?
Abis Mal: (yet hesitant) You're...a genie?
Jafar: (sarcastically) You are astonishingly perceptive.
Abis Mal: Um...eh...uh...if you're a genie, then, eh...don't I get...wishes?
Jafar: Yes, three wishes. That is a minor formality. But, first, I must go to Agrabah. You will take the lamp there for me.
Abis Mal: Then, uh, you need us. We'll, uh...take you to Agrabah, but first...I want my wishes.
(This just infuriates Jafar, and he shoots laser beams at Mal, and he raises a hand against the terrified thief for his affrontery)
Jafar: Why, you... (realizes there may be a fashion to get Mal to help him) you shall have your wishes.
Abis Mal: I shall? I mean, of course I shall! (laughing gleefully) Oh, I want...I want riches, treasure! Let's see, I know, uh...I wish for the legendary sunken treasure ship of Coeur du Mer!
Jafar: Your wish is my command.
(Mal's wish for the sunken treasure ship of Coeur du Mer is granted, but not the fashion he expected, as he is actually teleported there and an octopus' tentacle grabs him, leaving him at the mercy of a shark. However, before it can make a meal of him, Jafar blocks the shark aside)
Jafar: (holding Abis Mal like a baby and pushing him) Poor sweet baby. Aren't we enjoying our wish?
(Mal just gurgles with water in his mouth, and afraid of the vicious sea creatures about to eviscerate him, clearly not enjoying the wish)
Jafar: Maybe you wish me to return you to the desert?
Abis Mal: (gurgling) Ye-ee-ee-es!
Jafar: Very well.
(He teleports Mal back into the desert, and he spits the water out of his mouth)
Jafar: That was two wishes. (to Abis Mal) Take your time with the third, or you will wish you had never been born! (Mal gulps hesitantly, the thought of being wished out of existence being even eerier than being eaten alive) On the other hand, if you cooperate with me, I will see that you are amply rewarded.
Abis Mal: Rewarded?
Jafar: First, you will help me get revenge on a certain street rat by the name of...Aladdin.
Abis Mal: (gasps at the mention of the street rat's name and remembers the skirmish in his hideout) Aladdin?! I want revenge on him, as well! He robbed me, turned my men against me and he fought dirty! My brilliant swordsmanship availed me naught! (cuts his pants down with his sword, exposing his underwear) I hate if I do that.
Jafar: (grabbing Mal by the shirt) Let's not be too hasty, my simple-minded friend! It's not enough that we simply destroy Aladdin. (drops him on the ground) After all, there are facts so much worse than death!
(Screen fades to and from black, revealing a dining room of the palace. Aladdin, Jasmine and the Sultan are seated around a table with Genie dressed as a chef about to serve dinner)
Genie: Alright, stuff yourselves for a real culinary treat.
(Genie starts chopping vegetables in midair, while he does so making karate sounds. The Sultan laughs with joy at the hilarious scene and Genie's chuckle-some antics)
Sultan: Oh-ho-ho-ho, my!
(Suddenly, there is a loud snick as Genie incidentally slices off his hand while chopping some spinach. Aladdin and Jasmine wince at this sight)
Genie: Whoopsie.
(Genie's hand, however, just gets up and performs a tap-dance routine)
Sultan: Most amusing!
Genie: Amusing, right. Excuse me while I pull myself together.
Sultan: (laughing) Absolutely delightful! Now, to business. Aladdin, you have proven to be a man of strong moral character. That is why I've decided to make you my new royal vizier!
Aladdin: Oh. Really?
Jasmine: Isn't this wonderful?
Genie: (appearing in a tuxedo and top hat) Wow! Royal vizier! (poofs Aladdin into one as well, and slicks back his hair) Aladdin would like to thank the Academy for this grand honor!
(As Genie shakes Aladdin's hand and gives him a trophy shaped like him, the latter's hair goes back to its original style)
Genie: (as a vendor waving shirts with Aladdin's face on them) You want them? You have them! Royal vizier T-shirts! (as a herald, poofing Aladdin back to his Prince Ali outfit with a scepter) All hail Aladdin, the royal vizier! Well, um...what's a royal vizier?
Sultan: Well...he will be my most trusted advisor.
Genie: (back to normal) Well, that makes sense. (scoffs) He's bound to be better than that (turns his head to Jafar's) Jafar character!
Sultan: Quite so!
Genie: And Iago. Speak about a rat with wings!
Aladdin: Uh, Genie?
Genie: Whoo! That bird was mean! (as Iago with a cracker) Sultan want a cracker? Sultan want a cracker? (back to normal) Remember that?
Sultan: I can yet taste them, the traitor!
Genie: Yes, sir! You don't see this guy hanging out with any evil parrots!
Aladdin: It's funny you should mention Iago.
(Cut to the palace garden, night. Iago is yet in his cage with Abu guarding him, clearly not enjoying a moment of this. Suddenly, the parrot gets an idea)
Iago: Oh, monkey! (making monkey noises) Come on, monkey. Little birdie want to speak to monkey, have nice banana. (makes more monkey noises) Birdie get monkey a pretty banana if monkey open cage. Yum, yum!
Abu: (skeptical) Yes, yes, yes.
Iago: (pleading) C'mon! I've had a wife and three eggs! Imagine them hatching, never knowing their daddy.
(As Iago begs for Abu to release him, the latter sees Rajah prowling the courtyard. Getting an idea of how to keep the bird in check, he grins)
Iago: (yet pleading) C'mon, open the cage! Open it! Open it! Open it! (Abu opens the door) Yes, that's more like it. Aah! (sees Rajah growling at him, and changes his mind) Close the cage! Close it! Close it! Close it!
(But it doesn't help, as Rajah lunges at the cage and breaks it on contact. Iago wriggles his road out, and flies into the palace for dear life)
Abu: Oops!
Iago: Your monkey's trying to murder me! I saved your life! It's payback time, Aladdin!
(Abu pulls on Rajah's tail to try and get him to stop, but the tiger is too strong for him)
Iago: (from outside) Woah! Aladdin!
(Rajah bursts into the room, unable to stop before he and Abu run smack into the table. Jasmine looks sternly at her pet)
Jasmine: Rajah! You know better than to tear around the palace like that!
(As she reprimands Rajah, his mouth opens to reveal Iago is inside. Aladdin, in an attempt to save face, holds it closed)
Iago: Help, hey!
Sultan: Well, Aladdin, why did you bring up that deceitful parrot?
Aladdin: (hesitantly) Uh, Sultan, I have to warn you something about Iago.
(As he's speaking, Iago, from inside Rajah's mouth, tickles his nose, causing him to sneeze the parrot out. Aladdin gulps, knowing he has been caught)
Aladdin: He's here.
Sultan: (Gasping upon realizing this) Iago! Guards!
(At that moment, Razoul dashes in to see what's going on)
Aladdin: No, wait! You don't understand!
Sultan: Get that bird!
Razoul: (grins happily at the sight of finishing off with Iago) Yes, your Highness. It would be my pleasure.
(Razoul raises his sword, and Iago flinches in fright. But Aladdin, yet determined to explain himself and the parrot's presence, stops him)
Aladdin: No, Sultan! No!
Razoul: Move out of my road, boy!
Aladdin: You don't understand! (snatches Razoul's sword) Just listen! I have a...
Razoul: Your Highness!
Sultan: (sternly) I trust he has a fitting explanation for this...this scandal?
Jasmine: (also sternly) He had better.
Aladdin: (stuttering) Your Highness, I...I think Iago was......uh...
Iago: (whispering) Mesmerized.
Aladdin: Yes, yes! He was under Jafar's spell. Remember the snake staff? (The Sultan and Jasmine just frown at him, obviously not buying the implausible story) Iago was only......uh...um...look, I just...Iago's not all that worst. Uh, at least, I don't think so anyhow.
Iago: Shoulda stuck with the snake staff defense.
Sultan: (shocked) Not all worse? He only served my biggest enemy, that's all!
Razoul: We can't allow that traitorous bird to run free!
Aladdin: Then I'll watch him! Uh...your Highness, I meant...uh...with your permission, I'd like to take complete responsibility for Iago.
Iago: (skeptical) You would?
Sultan: (unsure, to Aladdin) Your priorities seem questionable to me, but so be it. Aladdin, you will watch Iago every moment.
(The Sultan walks away, and Razoul frowns at Aladdin, yet not completely trusting of him, if at all before now)
Razoul: And if the bird makes one wrong move, you shall be the one I pluck, boy!
Genie: Eh, that could've gone worse.
Aladdin: Ugh, Jasmine, I thought I was sunk.
Iago: (fearful) Oh, not real! (flies away to avoid Jasmine)
Jasmine: You were hiding Iago all along, weren't you?!
Genie: I think it just got worse.
Aladdin: Well, yes, but...
Jasmine: How could you? More secrets? More lies? Aladdin, I thought you had changed.
Aladdin: Jasmine, please, wait! Eh, back in the marketplace, Iago...he... (Jasmine just runs off and closes the palace doors, unwilling to hear any more of his excuses) He saved my life. (picks up his turban and sighs defeatedly) Some grand vizier I'm gonna make. Everybody's mad at me.
Genie: Aw, Jasmine's just a little (turns his head into a Mrs. Potts-like fashion) steamed. She'll cool down. (as Johnny Mac) Care for a cup? (as himself) Uh, this isn't cheering you up, is it? (tries to give it to Abu, but the monkey, who clearly doesn't like tea, refuses)
Aladdin: I don't get it, Genie. I try to do something real and it...it-it blows up in my face!
(Aladdin walks away into the garden to contemplate the mess he has gotten himself in, thanks to Iago. He looks mournfully at his friend, and feels sorry for him)
Genie: (sighs) That's the problem with doing the right fact. Sometimes you do it by yourself.
Iago: (to himself) That boy saved my life. Nobody's ever looked out for me before. Now, it's like I owe him. Nah!
Genie: (as Jiminy Cricket) Just let your conscience be your guide.
Iago: Conscience? Never had one. Never.
(Iago tries to fly away, but Genie intercepts him as a jack-in-the-box, and frightening the bird out of his wits)
Genie: BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!!
Iago: Whew! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?
Genie: (as a doctor) Aha, I did so! (showing Iago’s x-ray) An itty-bitty one, but it is there. (Then Genie teleports Iago to the palace garden with sparkling magic)
Iago: Can you quit with the hocus pocus already?
Genie: Look at him. Would it murder you to do something nice for him?
Iago: (wiggling out of Genie's arms) Possibly. I don't do "nice".
Genie: Oh, c'mon! It’ll be fun! (makes a jack-in-the-box-like fashion with two yellow flags, red eyes with spirals, and spinning hair plus checkered teeth)
Iago: I don't do fun, either!
Genie: (clones himself) We have to get Al and the princess (merges back into one) back together!
Iago: Look, I certainly don't do mushy stuff! It's not me!
Genie: I know, but it's going to be tricky.
Iago: (delighted) Tricky is brief. Tricky I can do!
(Fade to Jasmine’s room. She is laying face-down on her bed, weeping after being let down by Aladdin. Just then, Iago comes to her balcony)
Iago: C'mon, Princess! Don't waste your tears on him.
Jasmine: You! Get out of here!
(She throws a bread roll at Iago, and Jasmine shuts her curtains on him, willing nothing to do with Jafar's former hench-bird, especially since he destroyed her faith in Aladdin, but the bird is existent)
Iago: Hey, don't take it out on me! He's the creep. I never should have saved his life.
Jasmine: Saved his life? (opening her curtains to Iago)
Iago: Yes. He owed me one. That's why he stood up for me.
Jasmine: But he didn't have to lie to me.
Iago: You are so right.
(At this moment, Iago starts his reverse-psychology ploy, prompting the song Forget About Love to begin)
Iago: (sings) Forget about that guy
Forget about the way you fell into his eyes (stares into Jasmine's eyes until he falls off her couch)
Forget about his charms (shows Jasmine a picture of Aladdin, and she pushes it down)
Forget about the fashion he held you in his arms
Walking on air's obnoxious (Jasmine tries to hit him with her pillow)
The thrills, the chills
Will make you nauseous
And you'll never get enough
Just forget about love
(Jasmine hits him with a pillow, speaking to Genie) She's buying it! Now make with the magic!
(Jasmine looks wistfully at Aladdin's picture, wondering if she shall break up with him. Suddenly, Genie comes in and knocks a vase over, but she catches it)
Forget about romance
Forget about the fashion your heart begins to dance
(As Jasmine takes a whiff of the flower, an image of Aladdin appears in her mirror)
Aladdin: Jasmine.
(Jasmine whips around, and starts to realize she may have been too hard on Aladdin. Just then, Iago snatches the flower as she chases him to her balcony while seeing a mournful-looking Aladdin)
Iago: (singing) Then you feel the blush
If he's spouting out some sentimental mush
(on Jasmine's shoulder) Love really is revolting
It's even worse than since you're molting (starts tearing out his feathers)
Enough of this fluff
Just forget about love
Jasmine: (singing) I had almost forgotten the fashion it felt
If he held out his hand for mine
My heart's all a-flutter
Iago: (singing) Oh, how I shudder
Jasmine: (singing) The first time we kissed
Iago: (singing) It won't be missed
Forget about his touch
Jasmine: (running back towards her room while singing) I can't forget about his touch
Iago: (singing) In the scheme of facts, it doesn't matter much
Jasmine: (singing) It matters so much
Iago: (singing) You're better on your own
A meal becomes a banquet till you eat alone
(Jasmine runs down some stairs and stops in front of a mirror to fix her hair while humming. Suddenly, she grabs Iago and spins him around. Then she runs out into the garden with Iago following close behind)
Both: (singing) Love's filled with compromises
Iago: (singing) And don't you hate these big surprises?
(Jasmine suddenly finds herself on Carpet, and Genie throws some firefly-like fashions toward her, which collect on her headpiece)
Jasmine: (singing) A cozy rendezvous
Iago: (singing) Oh, please
Jasmine: (singing) Candlelight for two
Iago: (singing) Oh, jeez
Jasmine: (singing) Look, you're calling her bluff
She can't forget about love
Iago: (overlapping) Just forget about love
(The lights fly away from Jasmine and toward Aladdin. He looks up and sees Jasmine running towards him)
Aladdin: Uh, Jasmine, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept Iago a secret. Please, I have to save him!
Jasmine: (singing) I can't forget about my heart
Aladdin: (singing) I can't forget about my heart
Jasmine: (singing) And how it felt to fall for you right from the start
Aladdin: (singing) I'm yet falling
Jasmine: (splashes him while singing) Whatever we may do
Aladdin: (singing) Whatever we may do
Jasmine: (singing) You are here for me and I'll be there for you
Aladdin: (picks her up while singing) I'll be there
Both: (singing) To wish, to want, to wander
To find the sun through rain and thunder
(As they sing, Genie drifts over to the fountain with an annoyed Iago getting wet with the spouting water)
Aladdin: (singing) A cozy rendezvous
Jasmine: (singing) Yes, please
Aladdin: (singing) Candlelight for two
Iago: (interrupting and attempting to get out of Genie's arms while singing) Oh, jeez!
Enough is enough
Both: (singing) We can't forget about love!
(Meanwhile, Abis Mal climbs to the top of the palace wall. He pulls out a rope and begins to climb down. But just as he's a foot afar from the ground, the rope breaks, and he falls to the ground)
Abis Mal: (rubs Jafar's lamp) We did it! We're in!
Jafar: (emerging) It's about time. It was getting hot. How very like Iago. He's lost no time endearing himself to these in power. Which fits in perfectly with my plan!
(Meanwhile, Aladdin is yet trying to apologize to Jasmine for his blunder, although she has obviously forgiven him)
Aladdin: I'm sorry, Jasmine.
(Aladdin and Jasmine suddenly look behind them to see Genie staring at them)
Genie: Ah, love! Don't mind us.
Aladdin: Yes, well, this is kind of a special moment.
Genie: Right. I have it! Say no more. Enough said! Roger. Over and out!
(Suddenly, Genie appears and clones himself several times, but they become a film crew)
Genie #1: (cameraman) Rolling!
Genie #2: (marker-board guy) Marker!
Genie #3: (director) Action!
Genie #4: (the real one) Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. Looking grand, Jas. More emotion, Al. Tilt your chin a bit. (sees everyone looking at him and his clones)
Iago: (flying in front of the camera) What does he have to do to make it clear to you lunkheads?! The show's over! They want to be alone! Break it up! (pushing everyone else)
Jasmine: Are you sure about him?
Iago: Move it, primate! Shoo! Go ahead!
(Abu tries to hit Iago, but he tries to bite Abu like a leopard to chase him off)
Iago: That takes care of the peanut gallery. If you need me, I'll be lazing about in the lap of luxury.
Aladdin: I wish about this.
(Aladdin shares a kiss with Jasmine. Fade to the palace interior, day. Iago is lounging on a pile of pillows with several bunches of grapes all around him. He is enjoying living in the palace surrounded by such nice vittles)
Iago: Ohh, yes! Being one of the best guys has its advantages. Ah, advisor to Aladdin, the new grand vizier. And if Aladdin becomes Sultan, that will make me the grand vizier. (jumps down and snatches some grapes from a bowl) Only I'm not gonna blow it like that idiot Jafar! (puts them in his mouth) I'll never have to stand in his shadow again.
(Suddenly, the lights go out, and a spotlight shines on Iago)
Iago: (mouth complete) Who the...? (turns around and spits out the grapes in his mouth until he sees who's standing behind him) Jafar! Buddy?
(Jafar shoots two fireballs from his eyes, lighting some candles behind him)
Iago: (laughs hesitantly and backs off from Jafar) Well, uh, a funny fact happened. You see, this guy took the lamp. You probably thought it was me, because it sounded a lot like me, but a lot of people sound like me. Any matter, he took the lamp and..... (sees Jafar's face in a column and shrieks in fear)
Jafar: Calm yourself, Iago. We haven't come for revenge against you.
Iago: (laughs) Then that's nice to hear.
Abis Mal: I got it! I could wish for the famed treasure chest of King Malakhan!
(Jafar waves a finger, and Mal is suddenly crammed into a golden treasure chest. As he puts Iago down, Mal yells in panic, trying to get out. Then Jafar motions again, and the chest is poofed off. Mal briefly comes out in its shape before returning to normal and shivering heavily)
Jafar: Oh, I am dreadfully sorry. I thought that was your wish. Are you quite alright?
Abis Mal: No, I am not quite....
Jafar: (interrupting) Wonderful. Nice to see all is well. (to Iago) Abis Mal here is my new friend, and I couldn't help noticing that you've made some new friends, as well. Like, Aladdin.
(Jafar pokes Iago’s beak and turns into a Cheshire Cat-like fashion with red eyes and vanishes, leaving Iago somewhat intimidated)
Iago: Friend? Uh, friend is such a strong word. He's, eh, he’s more like an acquaintance.
Jafar: (appearing again into a human form from the flames of the candles) I'm arranging a little surprise for Aladdin and your job is to lead him to the festival.
Iago: You know, (shivers) I don't think I'm the guy for this job. You know, you should speak to....uh...uh...the monkey! Yes! The monkey's really had Aladdin's ear!
Jafar: No, Iago...you!
(Jafar points a finger on Iago's beak to show his decision is final. Screen fades to and from black, revealing the palace hall. Iago is pacing back and forth, wondering what to do. He doesn't want to have anything to do with Jafar and end up betraying Aladdin after he stood up for him, but doesn't want to end up as the blue plate special either)
Iago: You know, Aladdin, ahem, Al, here's an idea. I was just thinking.....
(Iago turns to see that, in a room near him, Genie, along with Carpet and Abu are playing a game of pool. Everyone is getting bored waiting for him to shoot)
Genie: Focus...focus. (says this six more times) Aiming, and...shoot!
(Genie shoots so hard, his cue scratches the table, and the ball flies away. Abu screeches in fright. They both duck, and Iago, who has just flown into the room looking for Aladdin, gets the cue ball lodged in his beak. The force knocks him toward the wall, but Carpet catches him and takes him to Genie)
Genie: Oh, ho. I'm sorry, little feathered friend. I'll get that out.
Abu: Uh-uh! Ha!
(Genie pulls on the ball to get it out of Iago's mouth, but it won't come out)
Genie: Oh, it's stuck real. (as a doctor) Cue-ball ectomy! Nurse!
(Genie turns Abu into a nurse with fake eyelashes. The monkey throws his nurse hat on the table, refusing to help the parrot he believes is yet evil)
Genie: Abu! (Abu tries to take out his eyelashes) Iago is our friend now. We can trust him. Now, let's get that ball out of his beak. What do you say?
Abu: (thinking) Well...alright.
(Abu pounds Iago's stomach, forcing the cue ball stuck in his mouth out, and it bounces onto the table)
Genie: Brilliant, Miss Heimlich!
Iago: (coughing and gasping for breath) Thanks...Bobo.
Genie: It's Abu.
Iago: Whatever.
Genie: That's the ticket! We're all one big family now! (gives Abu and Iago a group hug)
Iago: Yes, sure. Family.
Abu: Oh, boy.
Iago: Yes, well, I must find Al.
(Iago flies away to find Aladdin, leaving the boys to continue their game)
Genie: (to Carpet) Your shot. Pool's a man's game, so being a rug, you'll be at a disadvan...
(As Genie's speaking, Carpet somehow shoots all the balls into the pockets in one shot)
Genie: Aw, pool's a dumb game anyhow.
(Iago goes over to Jasmine's room, where Aladdin is speaking to her)
Aladdin: I can't explain it, Jasmine. I think we can trust Iago.
Jasmine: Well...then I guess I can give him a chance.
Aladdin: (sees Iago sneaking around) Iago?
(Iago, seeing that he has been spotted, stops and turns around to speak to Aladdin)
Iago: Eh...I...I was just thinking.....um...perhaps it's time you patched facts up with the Sultan. He might enjoy...a nice scenic carpet ride?
Jasmine: That's a nice idea.
Aladdin: And I'll bring Genie. He was a big hit with the Sultan.
Iago: (frantic) No, no, no! (composing himself) I mean, uh...Genie's...he's too flashy! He's too loud! You'll never get a word in.
Jasmine: Nice point, Iago. You need some silent time with Father. Let him get to know you.
Iago: Yes! And I...I can take you to the perfect spot.
Aladdin: Sure!
Jasmine: C'mon, let's get Father. Just a moment. (to Iago) Iago? This isn't easy for me to say, but I was wrong about you. (She kisses Iago on top of his head. Suddenly, he remembers Jafar's plan)
Iago: (growls concernedly) Wait a second!
Aladdin: Yes, Iago?
(Iago looks up to see Jafar’s evil eyes looking at him. He clearly threatens to finish off with Iago if he tries to warn him about the revenge plan)
Iago: Uh...I'll be along in a moment.
(Jasmine, however, is skeptical, and peers inside. Unfortunately, she can find nothing out of the ordinary, and goes away with Aladdin to find the Sultan. At that moment, Jafar comes out from wherever he is hiding)
Jafar: (putting his hands on Iago) Excellent.
(Screen fades to and from black, revealing the palace garden, afternoon. Jasmine is escorting the Sultan to Carpet, who has Aladdin there, as Iago has arranged a meeting in an undisclosed location for Aladdin to mend his damaged relationship with him)
Jasmine: Give them a chance, Father.
Sultan: Oh, I'll try, darling.
Aladdin: After you, Your Highness.
(Aladdin stretches out his arms and motions for the Sultan to get on Carpet, him and Iago grinning widely. The Sultan, who is yet untrusting of the parrot, gets on and folds his arms. Then Carpet does a loop-de-loop, and his face brightens. Sultan gets on Carpet, and Aladdin comes after)
Aladdin: Alright, Carpet, let's go!
Sultan: Whoopee!
(Carpet flies away and heads for parts unknown while Jasmine waves them a farewell)
Jasmine: Have a best time!
Genie: (off-screen) Hey, hey! Clear the road!
(At that moment, Genie comes running down the path to where Jasmine stands. Genie is dressed in a sports jersey, Bermuda shorts, and a straw hat carrying a blanket, a volleyball, an umbrella and a picnic basket, from which Abu comes out)
Genie: Make room for the picnic boys!
Jasmine: They already left, Genie.
Genie: (gasps at the mention of being without Aladdin) Without us?!
Abu: Without us?
Genie: No problem. I'll catch up in a flash!
(Genie tries to fly away, but Jasmine stops him)
Jasmine: Wait! Without me, as well. Aladdin needs some time alone with Father to patch facts up.
Genie: You know what this means, monkey boy? (emotionally) More food for us!
Abu: Oh, boy!
(Genie throws the picnic basket on the ground, and in an instant, some food appears, which is as follows; a roast chicken, some bread, corn on the cob, a fruit bowl, some grape Kool-Aid, and apple pie. The boys sit down and eat voraciously, stopping only as Jasmine looks disgustedly at their horrible manners. Meanwhile, Jasmine yet stares at Genie and Abu)
Genie: (stops eating) I'm sorry. Did you want some?
Jasmine: I'm...not hungry just now. You two go ahead!
(Jasmine walks off, and leaves the boy to eat their food again. Fade to the desert. Sultan and Aladdin are flying Carpet, along with Iago)
Sultan: C'mon, my boy! Show me what this fact can really do!
(Aladdin pulls on Carpet's front tassels, and he dives toward a river at the bottom of a deep canyon. Then he skims along the water, narrowly avoids a hippo's mouth, and flies over some rapids leading to a waterfall. Suddenly, Iago spots something)
Iago: That's the spot! On top of the waterfall!
(Aladdin goes into another power dive. Iago holds on as tightly as possible as he flies back up the waterfall)
Iago: I'm losing my feathers here!
Sultan: You're lucky you haven't lost more than that!
(Eventually, Carpet makes a hard stop, bucking Aladdin away. The Sultan, however, has landed on the same tree trunk and is laughing gleefully)
Sultan: Oh, what fun!
(Aladdin helps the Sultan up, and Iago is revealed to have been underneath him. The parrot moans in pain)
Aladdin: Iago, I have to hand it to you. This is a nice place!
(Cut to the palace courtyard. Genie and Abu are yet lounging about with their picnic)
Genie: It doesn't get any better than this, right, Shaggy? (hands Abu some fried chicken legs) How about a nice drumstick? This could use some secret herbs and spices.
(But the moment Abu bites into his drumstick, a spider crawls up on it. The monkey, disgusted at having almost devoured a bug, spits it out. Suddenly, he screeches in alarm as thousands more of its kind suddenly swarm the courtyard)
Genie: Spiders! (as Dale Gribble) Facts could get ugly!
(He sprays the spiders, but the smoke just makes them all coalesce into a familiar shape; a seven-foot-tall Jafar)
Genie: Jafar!
Abu: Oops!
Jafar: I'm sorry to spoil your picnic, boys. But I can't have any genie mucking about ruining my plans!
Genie: Don't worry, Abu. He's a genie and genies can't murder anyone!
(At that moment, Jafar turns both of his hands into dragon heads that breathe fire all over him)
Genie: (wheezing voice) But you'd be surprised what you can live through.
Jafar: (chuckling) You always were nice for a laugh.
Genie: Oh, yes?!
(Genie, sporting a muscular physique, an ammo belt and bandana, shoots a lightning bolt from a bow, then three more from his hands. He turns his hands into machine guns and shoots Jafar next. All of the combined attacks kick up a cloud of dust, and as it clears, Jafar is seemingly defeated. Genie gasps for breath)
Genie: (chuckles triumphantly as a superhero, but turns back into himself) Who's laughing now?
(Genie is astonished to hear Jafar's evil laughter as he reforms, somehow unscathed from his attacks)
Jafar: Why, I believe it's me.
(Genie stands there in confusion as to how he managed to survive all their combined attacks, and Abu screeches in fright. Jafar begins his boast in the form of the song "You're Only Second Rate")
Jafar: (sings) I must admit
Your parlor tricks are amusing
(He turns Genie into a stage magician with a top hat stuck on his head. As the latter tries to pull it away, Jafar removes it, revealing a giant rabbit that squishes Genie at last)
I bet you've found a bunny under your hat
(Jafar conjures up some playing cards, with Genie and Abu having been turned into two of them. Then he splurges the cards of his hand, and the two turn back into themselves. Then Genie tries to hit Jafar with a lightning bolt, but he bounces right away. Then the evil genie turns him old)
Now, here's your chance to get the best of me
Hope your hand is hot
C'mon, clown, let's see what you've had
You can try to hit me with your hardest stuff
But your double whammy isn't up to snuff
I'll set the record straight
You're simply out of date, you're only second rate
(Then Genie turns into a tiger and attacks Jafar. The latter just turns into a lion tamer, and as he jumps through the hoop, he is turned into a cat respectively. He lands on a stool with a blackboard behind them saying "2+2=5". Jafar reappears wearing a mortarboard cap, and then slips a dunce cap over them)
You think your cat's a meanie
But your tiger's tame
You have a lot to learn about the genie game
Then for your education, I'll reiterate
You're only second rate
(Jafar lifts the dunce cap, revealing the now tiny Genie and Abu. They fall from the stool and onto the palm of Jafar's giant hand. Each of the fingers has his face, and the pinky frowns at them. They back up, only to run into the thumb, which has the face of Jafar's genie form)
Men cower at the power in my pinky
My thumb is number one on every list
(Then Jafar reappears in his genie form and rakes the ground with his hands. The two fall into the holes, which seal themselves up and appear next to a dead tree with a somber-looking expression on its trunk. This does not stop the genie, however, where he conjures up a chain which ties itself around Jafar. Next, he is shoved into a wicker basket, which is subsequently skewered with swords. Abu winces at this sight. Unfortunately, a giant cake bursts from the basket, and Jafar emerges from the topmost layer while the candles emit showers of sparks)
But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible
Put me to the test
I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest
Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise
Slap me in a trap, cut me down to size
I'll make a grand escape, it's just a piece of cake
You're only second rate
(The two run away, but is stopped by a tiki statue that looks like Jafar's head. Then they fall through a trapdoor and onto a procession of platforms sloping upward towards a throne, upon which Jafar is seated, holding his snake staff. As each platform reaches him, it disappears in a blaze of fire, and the two jump away from each, trying not to get burnt themselves, but end up toppling down as Jafar zaps them with another bolt from his staff)
You know, your hocus-pocus isn't rough enough
And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up
Let me pontificate upon your disgraceful state
You're only second rate
(The two run away, but is stopped by a wall with Jafar's face on it)
Zaba-caba-dabra
(They run in the separate direction towards what appears to be an old lady in a rocking chair, but the old crone turns out to be Jafar himself)
Granny's gonna grab ya!
(The two keep on running, with Jafar growing bigger and bigger before zapping them again with more lightning. Then they run past five more Jafars before a pair of his hands pulls down Genie's pants. With another poof, he is taken apart and reassembled inside a wooden crate. He eventually reappears on a plate spinning on a stick. Jafar spins it faster and faster)
Alakazam-na-bus
This thing's bigger than the both of us
So spare me your tremendous fright
You look horrendous in your underwear
And I can hardly wait to discombobulate
I'll send ya back and packing in a shipping crate
You'll make a better living with a spinning plate
You're only second rate!
(As the song ends, the scene cuts to Jafar's lair. Genie appears in a crystal ball. Genie gives a frightened shudder as Jafar seals it shut with a wooden spider, and sets it down on a table. Abu gets up on the table, and knocks on the ball worriedly)
Abu: Hello? Hello?
(But before he can muster, Jafar catches him and Abu, and pins him to the wall)
Jafar: Ah, that was invigorating! Come, Abis Mal, we have other lives to ruin.
(Cut to the oasis ruins. The Sultan goes to the waterside, and Aladdin looks at him. Jasmine is easy to gain forgiveness from, but he isn't so sure about her father. Aladdin goes over to the Sultan, who is throwing stones into the water)
Aladdin: Sultan. Look, I'm sorry for not warning you about Iago.
Sultan: Huh!
Aladdin: I guess I saw best in him. (picks up a stone) Just like you saw some brief in a street rat.
(Aladdin throws his stone, and it skips along the water. The Sultan's eyes widen at his statement, and he thinks for a second)
Sultan: The best I saw in a... (realizes Aladdin's right) Well...oh, yes, I...I suppose so. (his eyes brighten, having eventually regained his trust in his future son-in-law) Well said, my boy! Oh, you'll be a fine vizier!
(Then Aladdin goes over to Iago, who is looking glum, knowing that he reluctantly plays a part in what's to come)
Aladdin: This was a grand idea, Iago. Thanks.
Iago: Oh, don't thank me. Really.
(But before the parrot has a chance to warn her about Jafar, some shadowy men from chapter 2 burst in, riding on black horses. The Sultan, who has picked a bouquet of flowers, sees the silhouetted men, and runs for dear life as they pursue him)
Aladdin: Sultan!
(Carpet flies in front of them, and tries to stop them, but only ends up getting trampled. One of the horses stops, and the rider is revealed to be...)
Aladdin: Abis Mal?!
(The confusion manages to kick up a grand cloud of dust, and in it all, one of the shadowy men seizes the Sultan and lifts him off)
Sultan: Aladdin! Stop!
(Aladdin just kneels on the ground, coughing from the dust. Upon seeing Iago, he grabs him by the tail feathers as he tries to fly off)
Aladdin: You traitor!
Iago: Traitor is such a strong word.
Sultan: Aladdin, help!
(Carpet gets up, unharmed by the trampling, and flies over to Aladdin)
Aladdin: I'll settle with you later. C'mon, Carpet!
(They fly after the silhouetted men and see that they're heading for the edge of a cliff face)
Aladdin: Look, they're trapped on the cliff wall! If they stop, we'll...what?
(The shadowy men's horses fly over the edge of the waterfall, and sprout wings just as they are about to hit the bottom. Aladdin is nonplussed)
Aladdin: Abis Mal knows magic?
Sultan: Woah-ah-ah!
(The Sultan looks down, and sees that they are high above the canyon, which is a very long road down. Carpet zooms at complete speed toward the silhouetted men, and Aladdin successfully grabs the Sultan)
Abis Mal: What? Get him! Get the sultan!
Aladdin: Hang on, Sultan! This is where we lose them.
(Carpet flies into the shadowy men, confusing them with his speed and flying back towards the waterfall. One of them waves its sword, and summons a whirlpool that hits Carpet. The Sultan falls over into the watery vortex)
Aladdin: Sultan! We have to go back, Carpet!
(Carpet flies away after the whirlpool, and Aladdin reaches into it to grab the Sultan. Unfortunately, he ends up getting sucked in and spewed out into the rapids. Aladdin is swept downstream, but manages to cling to a large rock. Abis Mal, however, laughs and kicks him away, sending him over the waterfall)
Abis Mal: Yes! (one of the silhouetted men motions toward the waterfall) What? (just as he is about to hit the sharp rocks at the bottom, he is saved and sends the unconscious street rat into a slower-moving stream) What are you doing here?!
(The shadowy men and Mal fly away to the banks of the river. The thief dismounts his horse just as all the silhoutted men merge into Jafar)
Abis Mal: Are you nuts?! You saved him! He was this close to being a greasy little smear on the rocks!
Jafar: (frustratedly grabs Mal by the shirt) Look, you little... (calms down) I mean, my darling Abis Mal. (puts him down) If you remember the plan, it is not yet time for the boy to meet his end.
Abis Mal: Um...I knew that.
Jafar: Soon, our revenge will be finished, and you shall have your third wish.
Abis Mal: (emotionally) Ooh, boy, oh, my little wishy!
Jafar: And you, Iago! You have done well.
Iago: (disgraceful) Please, don't mention it.
(Fade to the stream. Aladdin awakens on the shore, coughing and gasping for air)
Aladdin: Sultan! (shivering) Iago.
(Aladdin gets up and makes his road to Agrabah to confront the traitorous parrot. Cut to Jafar’s lair. The Sultan, along with Jasmine, are chained to the wall, having been captured off-screen)
Sultan: Jafar, you fiend! I should have known that this was your treachery!
Jafar: But I couldn't have done it without Iago.
Iago: Eh, I...I played a minor role, really.
Abis Mal: (straining with Carpet, who is wiggling fiercely) Jafar! This rug won't cooperate!
(Carpet breaks free of Mal's grip and tries to fly away through a window, but Jafar stops him by conjuring up a ball and chain too heavy for him to fly with)
Sultan: Ooh, if Aladdin returns!
Jafar: I think we have ample time to get ready for his arrival.
(Jafar takes the Sultan's turban, and conjuring up a dagger, slices it in two)
Abis Mal: Hey! That was a nice hat. I could have worn that hat!
Jafar: We need this for our plan.
Abis Mal: Couldn't we use another hat for the plan?
Jafar: No. The sultan's turban and this dagger are exactly what we need... (pointing his dagger towards Mal’s head) to seal Aladdin's doom.
(Screen fades to and cuts from black, revealing the palace, front gates. Aladdin has eventually made it there after a long walk in the desert. There, standing at the front door with a frustrated look on his face, is Razoul)
Aladdin: Razoul, the Sultan's been....
(But before he can finish, Razoul orders the guards to capture him)
Razoul: Seize him! You are under arrest for the murder of the Sultan!
Aladdin: What?! No!
(Fade to the palace, dungeon, night. Aladdin is in chains, trying to explain what really happened)
Razoul: And then you went over the waterfall, right? Ha! How did you survive?
Aladdin: I...I don't know.
Razoul: How very convenient.
Aladdin: It's the truth! Why won't you believe me?
Jasmine's Voice: Because we know he's lying!
(Aladdin looks up, and sees what appears to be Jasmine standing at the top of the dungeon stairs holding the Sultan's torn turban and wearing an accusing look on her face. This is really Jafar as Jasmine, where he will be referred to as "Jasmine")
Aladdin: What?
"Jasmine": I found this in your room. My father's turban.....slashed!
Aladdin: You can't think---
"Jasmine": (interrupting) I thought you loved me, but now I see that all you wanted to do was rule Agrabah!
Aladdin: I never wanted-----
"Jasmine": He shall die at dawn for the murder of my father!
("Jasmine" leaves the room, leaving Aladdin with Razoul)
Aladdin: Jasmine, please!
Razoul: You're in my hands now, street rat!
(Cut to Jafar's lair. The evil ex-vizier makes his road back just as Mal has the real Jasmine chained to the wall with the others. Then he changes back into himself)
Jafar: (laughing evilly) You should have seen the look on Aladdin's face since Princess Jasmine sentenced him to death.
Jasmine: (despairingly) No!
Abis Mal: Oh, yes! And then I get my wish.
Jafar: (annoyed) Yes, and then you get your wish.
Jasmine: (frustratedly, to Iago, who is hiding behind a beaker) Iago! I swear one day you will pay for this!
Iago: I really think you're making too big a deal out of this.
Jafar: Such spirit.
(Jasmine tries to bite Jafar's hand like a jaguar)
Jafar: Maybe after a few days in chains, you'll be more kindly disposed toward me, (putting his snake staff closely to her) especially if you want your father to remain healthy! (to Iago) Ah, Iago, you betrayed me and allied yourself with my enemies. Then you turned on them as soon as it was in your best interests. That's what I love about you. You're so perfectly predictable. A villain through and through!
Iago: Thank you. Thank you all. Whew!
(Screen fades to and from black, revealing the palace dungeon, daybreak. Aladdin has spent a miserable night. He is sitting on the floor in despair, thinking his fiance has sentenced him to death for supposedly assassinating her father. Suddenly, a rooster's crow is heard. But before he can figure out what's wrong, Razoul bursts in and sniffs the air deeply)
Razoul: Ah, dawn!
(Razoul, flanked by two other guards, escort Aladdin up some stairs. Cut to Jafar's lair. He transforms back into "Jasmine" and starts toward the door)
"Jasmine": (to the real Jasmine) I'll warn your boyfriend farewell for you, Princess.
Sultan: (straining) If I get hold of you, Jafar...
(Abu screeches frustratedly at Jafar)
"Jasmine": (sarcastically, in Jafar's voice) I'm soooooo concerned.
(He leaves the room, with the third to see Aladdin's final moments. Iago just sighs, relieved that his former master has eventually left. Meanwhile, Razoul leads Aladdin further up the tower stairs. Cut back to Jafar's lair. With the evil ex-vizier gone, Iago lets out a loud, anguished shriek and proceeds to rescue the only one who can help Genie. Jasmine, however, wastes no time interrogating the not-so-reformed parrot)
Jasmine: (frustratedly) How could you double-cross Aladdin after all he's done for you?!
(Abu chatters frustratedly at him)
Iago: Hey, do I insult *your* mother?
(Abu, shocked that Iago will speak about his mother like that, just scoffs. Then the parrot pecks on the crystal ball, but only ends up bending the tip. He straightens it and pecks harder, but this does not work either. The two prisoners recoil at the sound)
Jasmine: (sighs) What are you doing now?
Iago: (hitting the crystal ball with a wooden plank) Oh, what does it look like I'm thinking? I'm trying to free the chump genie where he can save your chump boyfriend!
(The plank breaks in two and conks Iago on the head. He squawks in frustration. Cut to the tower. Razoul and his prisoners eventually get to the top. In front of them is a forge, and a blacksmith is tempering something. Razoul motions for him to stop, and the blacksmith sharpens a sword on a grindstone. He checks the sword while Razoul puts on an executioner's hood, grinning triumphantly at the street rat he is so eager to eventually be rid of. The blacksmith hands him the sword and he slices through a wooden beam. It splits in two, and falls to the floor. Aladdin looks on in shock as he is led to a pavilion of sorts high above the streets of the city. Meanwhile, in Jafar's lair, Iago removes the crystal ball from its stand, and straining under its weight, throws it to the floor. Unfortunately, it only bounces along and does not break)
Jasmine: You have to lift it higher!
Iago: (gasping for breath) Sure. No problem.
(Cut to the executioner's pavilion, sunrise. The guards push Aladdin into the blade-less guillotine while two more show up to restrain him. Razoul raises his sword and gets ready to behead him and "Jasmine" approaches)
"Jasmine": Wait!
Aladdin: Jasmine! I knew you wouldn't go through with this.
"Jasmine": I just wanted to say farewell... (briefly reveals his face to him) ...street rat!
(Aladdin's eyes widen in surprise)
Aladdin: Jafar! It's Jafar---
(But Aladdin does not get a chance to conclude his sentence before one of the guards drapes a head mask over him. In Jafar's lair, Iago is lifting the crystal ball higher and higher, staggering once again under the immense weight. Meanwhile, Aladdin is attempting to get out of the grip of his respective captors. "Jasmine" starts to leave. Eventually, Iago releases the ball, and it smashes on the floor. Razoul raises his sword, and gets ready to finish off with Aladdin. Luckily, just before Razoul's sword hits the street rat, he is stuffed up by Genie. Aladdin removes the head mask)
Aladdin: Thanks for saving me.
Genie: Oh, c'mon, Al, you know I had to. Oh, that no-head look is just not you. For my next trick, (magically poofs everyone out of their bonds to the top of one of the palace's towers) bibbidi...bobbidi...boo! Oh-ho, and everybody's safe and sound.
Jasmine: Aladdin!
Abu: Aladdin!
Aladdin: Nice to see you, as well, Abu.
Jasmine: (to Aladdin) There's somebody else who wants to speak to you.
Iago: (comes out from Jasmine's pant leg) Hello.
Aladdin: You set me up! How could you show your face? You're nothing but a-----
(As Aladdin's berating him, Iago hides behind Jasmine's pant leg in fear)
Jasmine: (interrupting) Aladdin, Iago rescued us. He didn't have to, but he did so.
Aladdin: (surprised) Rescued? Him?
Iago: Please note: "Did not have to, but did." (yelling) NOW WE SHOULD BE FLEEING FOR OUR LIVES, IF YOU DON'T MIND!!
Aladdin: (determined) No! We have to stop Jafar.
(Iago, who is flying away, stops short at Aladdin's statement and flies back. Everyone else, however is unsure as to how to get rid of Jafar for real)
Jasmine: But how? He's so powerful!
Genie: His lamp! You destroy Jafar's lamp, you destroy Jafar.
Aladdin: Then that's what we'll do.
Iago: Reality check. Jafar is large and in charge!
Sultan: Oh, yes. There's no warning what Jafar will do to Agrabah. We have a responsibility!
Iago: Perhaps you do, but I don't! I'm only responsible for me, myself, and nobody!
(Aladdin, Jasmine and the Sultan get on Carpet)
Aladdin: I understand, Iago. You've done enough. And thanks!
Iago: Hey, I did my best deed! I don't owe you a fact! You hear me?! Not a fact.
(Iago flies away, unwilling to deal with anyone else. Cut to the palace, throne room. Jafar and Abis Mal are celebrating their so-called victory)
Jafar: Now that my revenge is done that is one little matter left to resolve.
Abis Mal: Yes! The wish!
Jafar: Indeed not. And he will now wish me free of this wretched lamp!
Abis Mal: (snatches Jafar's lamp afar from him) No! My wish! You have what you wanted, now it's my turn!
Jafar: But you don't need to waste your third wish. You want the sunken treasure of Coeur du Mer? It's yours!
(Jafar conjures up the sunken ship from earlier. The moment it hits the floor, gold coins spill out, and Mal, chortling like a little schoolgirl, runs over to it. Meanwhile, Genie, disguised as a wooden version of Ariel stretches his arm towards Mal and tries to grab the lamp, but misses)
Abis Mal: Yes, yes, yes! Yes! I love it! I love it! Silver! Lots and lots of it! Oh, I'm so emotional!
(Genie poofs back to the others, who are hiding behind one of the columns. He shrugs his shoulders)
Abis Mal: Then this means I could have more stuff? (Jafar conjures up a table with an enormous ruby on it) I always wanted one of these! (Mal puts Jafar's lamp on the throne, and he runs over to it) Nice! More! More!
(Jafar dejectedly conjures up more treasure, and Mal gets more and more emotional. Genie stretches his hand dodging the treasure as it appears and is almost at Jafar's lamp, but his hand is ultimately smashed by a golden eagle statue. He tries to shriek, but he holds it in. Meanwhile, Jasmine and the Sultan try to sneak in)
Sultan: Oh, dear!
(They immediately double back, evading another treasure chest as it falls towards them)
Jafar: Now, if it's obscenely excessive enough, maybe you'd care to grant my freedom.
Abis Mal: Wait, what? Oh, yeah, right. Wish he was free. Sure fact, yes. (Mal goes to where he put Jafar's lamp, not noticing Abu trying to grab it) I wish for Jafar to be... (The four silently gasp, anticipating their impending doom, but he swiftly reconsiders) Wait. How do I know that these facts won't disappear once I set him free?
Jafar: (intimidatingly) The more pressing question is, how will you stay alive if you don't?!
Abis Mal: But, but you said genies can't murder! You said that!
(As he's speaking, Abu suddenly appears from behind the throne to try and grab the lamp)
Jafar: You'd be surprised what you can live through. What?!
(Abu screeches in alarm, and grabs Jafar's lamp)
Abis Mal: What? Hey!
(Aladdin suddenly bursts out and he grabs the lamp)
Aladdin: I'll take that!
Abis Mal: My lamp! Gimme! Mine! Gimme!
Jafar: The street rat? Yet alive? NoooooOOOO!!!!
(Jafar conjures up a fireball, and throws it at them. The fireball hits dead-center, and they are blasted onto the balcony, which suddenly starts to crumble. As it gives room under them, they jump across and try to get off the balcony, but Abu falls backward, and so does Abis Mal. Just as Aladdin is about to hit the ground, Genie turns into an armchair, and catches him)
Aladdin: Thanks, Genie.
(At that moment, Jasmine rides on Carpet)
Aladdin: Where's the lamp?
(Suddenly, everyone looks up to see Abis Mal stuck in a tree and attempting to reach Jafar's lamp, but it falls over and onto the ground. But before they can get to the lamp, the ground cracks once again, and out from it rises Jafar in his genie form. He laughs manically and knocks them all back)
Jasmine: The lamp!
(Then Jasmine takes the opportunity to grab the lamp while the evil genie is yet laughing)
Jafar: NOT SO FAST!!
(Jafar zaps Jasmine with a lightning bolt, and she retires back toward her friends. Meanwhile, Jafar turns around to a voice from behind him, seemingly Aladdin)
Aladdin: Give it up, Jafar! We're obviously too much for you to handle.
Jafar: YOU! YOU'RE A FOOL TO CHALLENGE ME!! I AM ALL-POWERFUL!!!
Aladdin: Some all-powerful. You can't even get rid of a lowly street rat.
Jafar: A PROBLEM I MEAN TO RECTIFY RIGHT NOW!!
(Jasmine watches as Jafar snatches up Aladdin in his hands)
Jasmine: Aladdin!
(Aladdin strains, but he suddenly turns blue and fattens up. He reveals himself to actually be Genie, who sports his trademark smirk)
Jafar: WHAT?!
Genie: Gotcha now!
(Jafar turns to see the real Aladdin flying towards his lamp on Carpet)
Genie: Go, Al!
(Jafar, frustrated at having been tricked, tosses Genie aside, and he falls unconscious)
Jasmine: Genie!
Aladdin: Faster, Carpet!
(Jafar fires a bolo-shaped ball of fire, and it flies toward Carpet. The moment it hits, he turns stiff and smashes, breaking up into pieces)
Aladdin: Carpet, no!
Jasmine: Aladdin!
(Meanwhile, in the spot where Carpet smashed, Aladdin gets to his feet to try and get the lamp. But just as he is within reach, a rocky spire juts out from underneath him. It is revealed to have been conjured by Jafar, who laughs manically at Aladdin's difficulty. The evil genie claps his hands, and the ground splits open, revealing a pool of magma underneath)
Jasmine: Genie, wake up!
Abu: Wake up!
(More of the ground gives room, and soon, everyone is trapped inside the massive pool of magma. And right he is, for Aladdin is hanging on to his rock spire for dear life as it begins to sink into the magma. He tries to reach for Jafar's lamp twice, but misses both times. He just stands around, unsure of what to do, as he cannot get to it himself either. Jafar laughs at his misery)
Jafar: GIVE IT UP, BOY! (shoots fire from his eyes to make Aladdin sink faster) YOU SHALL NEVER HAVE MY LAMP, AND THERE IS NO ONE TO SAVE YOU THIS TIME!!
(At that moment, Iago flies in, sick and tired of his now former master's gloating)
Iago: Hey, Jafar! SHUT UP!!!!!
(Iago flies toward the rock where Jafar's lamp is lying, barely missing the evil genie's head in the process)
Aladdin: Iago?
Jafar: (furious) TRAITOR!!
(Jafar shoots lightning from his hand towards Iago, but it misses just as he has grabbed his lamp. Then Iago tries to give Aladdin the lamp, but Jafar blasts him with more lightning, smashing him against the wall and leaving him badly injured)
Jasmine: No!
(Iago just lies there, burned and too weak to fly, and tries to nudge the lamp into the lava, but soon falls limp)
Jafar: (laughing evilly) NICE HELP IS SO HARD TO FIND THESE DAYS, ISN'T IT, ALADDIN?!
(Jafar laughs again, confident he has won, but Iago uses the last of his strength to kick the lamp into the magma)
Jafar: (sees his lamp fall into the magma) MY LAMP!! Noooooo!
(As Jafar's lamp begins to melt, the rock a now-unconscious Iago is lying on starts to crumble, and he slides toward the magma)
Aladdin: Iago!
(Aladdin grabs Iago in time. Jafar groans and writhes in pain as his lamp eventually melts into a black puddle of molten metal. Meanwhile, the stone pillars everyone is standing on begin to sink into the magma. Genie stretches himself to the surface of the fissure, and everyone except Aladdin run up their back to safety. Meanwhile, Aladdin, who is carrying a yet unconscious Iago, jumps away from his pillar, runs across another one, and climbs up the wall of the hole as it begins to close up. Jafar, who is yet writhing in agony, spins around faster and faster before eventually exploding. Aladdin, however, makes it out of the fissure just as it fully closes, and a shimmer of light clears the clouds afar, revealing the beautiful blue heavens. Carpet, who fell to pieces, reforms himself and flies over to Abu)
Abu: Oh, boy!
(Carpet and Abu high-five each other in victory. Meanwhile, Aladdin is caressing a yet unconscious Iago)
Aladdin: Iago.
Jasmine: No!
Aladdin: But...I thought a genie couldn't murder anyone.
Iago: (coughs and opens his eyes) You'd be surprised what you can live through.
Aladdin: Alright!
Abu: Oh, boy!
Jasmine: Oh, Iago!
Genie: (shouting and cheering with Abu and Carpet) He's alive!
(He turns into a red firework rocket and shoot up into the heavens. Soon, there are lots of fireworks going off in the night heavens, celebrating Jafar's demise. Cut to the throne room. Iago is now lying on a bed of pillows with a splint on his right wing and the left one in a sling. He also has bandages tied around his head)
Iago: And then the bird lived happily ever after, wallowing in luxury as Aladdin's palace pal.
Sultan: Now, my darling boy or should I say, my new vizier?
Iago: (emotional) Oh, say it!
Aladdin: Sultan, I'm very honored, but...
Iago: (flies away from his pillow and knocking Abu away from Aladdin's shoulder in confusion) But?! What but? "But" is such a strong word!
Abu: Why, I oughta...
(Carpet grabs Abu as Aladdin tries to explain his reasons for turning down the grand vizier position)
Aladdin: I can't be your vizier.
Iago: What?! (grabs the Sultan’s shirt) Sultan, the boy's speaking crazy language! Don't listen! (yelling at Aladdin) WHAT MORE HAVE YOU DONE?!
Aladdin: The world.
Iago: Look, personally. I'm with you, boy, but let's take it one step at a time.
(Genie grabs Iago and wraps his beak in bandages to keep it shut)
Aladdin: I mean...I want to see the world. I can't just stay in the palace. (looks out into the city from the balcony) There's too much to do, too much to see.
Iago: Hey, what about your girlfriend? Do you think that this lovely princess is just going to wait around here?
(Iago squawks as Rajah holds him down to try and keep him silent)
Jasmine: I most certainly will not!
Iago: There, you see?
Jasmine: I'm going to see the world, as well.
Iago: Alright, that's it! The madness is spreading! Awk, crazy language! (flies around in outrage) Why do I keep getting hooked up with these warped people? Shouldn't somebody ask what the brave parrot wants to do?
(Screen fades from black, revealing the palace courtyard, night. Abis Mal is yet hanging from the tree branch he's stuck on)
Abis Mal: Does this mean I don't get my third wish?
CLOSING PREVIEWS[]
(After the movie, the Sesame Street magazine promo starts playing)
Kath Soucie: If your children like "Sesame Street", here's something they'll really love. "Sesame Street Magazine", created for children 2 to 6. It's just as much fun and educational as the TV show. There's Elmo, Zoe, Big Bird and all their friends. There's games to play and stories to read, pages to cut in color and posters to collect. Big Bird will help your children learn to read.
Girl: "C" is for cookie.
Kath Soucie: To count and they'll enjoy "Sesame Street Magazine" along or with you long after the show is over.
Woman: And with every issue, you'll also receive "Sesame Street Parents". Grand for parents of preschoolers.
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(Screen flips from black, revealing the title card, "LOOK FOR THESE GRAND PRODUCTS FROM SESAME STREET")
Neil Ross: Look for these grand products from Sesame Street.
(Screen flips from black, revealing the black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo)
Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Home Video invites you to experience the magic and enchantment of Disney classics, now available on videocassette.
Aladdin/Prince Ali: Yes!
Mark Elliott: Fly off on a magic carpet with "Aladdin".
Genie: Is that an official wish? Say the magic words.
Aladdin: Genie, I wish for you to make me a prince!
Mark Elliott: And meet a funny Genie who can grant all your wishes. Play hide and seek with "The Fox and the Hound".
Young Tod: My name's Tod.
Young Copper: I'm a hound dog!
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Young Tod: Copper, you're my very best friend.
Mark Elliott: Take a famous trip with "Alice in Wonderland".
White Rabbit: (sings) I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!
Mark Elliott: And have tea with a fully wacky character.
Cheshire Cat: Can you stand on your head?
Mark Elliott: With the kind of "Dumbo", the flying elephant. Explore the backstage of the circus.
Timothy Q. Mouse: Dumbo, the ninth wonder of the universe!
Mark Elliott: And soar with him on the wings of courage.
Timothy Q. Mouse: He's a success.
Mark Elliott: Let yourself be charmed by the story of "Pinocchio", the happy puppet who has only one dream.
Pinocchio: But someday, I'm gonna be a real boy!
Mark Elliott: And who lives an extraordinary adventure, accompanied by his best friend: Jiminy Cricket.
Jiminy Cricket: I thought we'd never make it.
Mark Elliott: Then tie your turban, take your friend by the hand and go and indulge yourself. Walt Disney Classics, a wonderful world that you can enjoy again and again. Available from Walt Disney Home Video!
Brian Cummings: Start your engines and get ready because a hero returns.
Chorus: (singing) Here he comes, here comes Speed Racer. He's a demon on wheels!
Brian Cummings: Now on videocassette. It's the legendary champion race driver and crime fighter Speed Racer. "The Speed Racer Movie" with three classic adventures combined with period commercials into one all-new feature and the classic episodes of the original "Speed Racer" TV show in their original form and packaged with collectable "Speed Racer" trading cards. These are the same adventures seen on MTV. Collect all the classic adventures of "Speed Racer" and join the new "Speed Racer" fan club. Now available, "The Speed Racer Movie", just $19.98 and the four classic adventures just $12.98 each from Family Home Entertainment. And coming in May, "The New Adventures of Speed Racer", new emotional animation, new stories, new characters and all new for the 90's adventures. Each tape will have two full episodes from the hit TV show, "The New Adventures of Speed Racer". Coming in May from Family Home Entertainment!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the 1991 Family Home Entertainment logo)
Brian Cummings: Here's big news for adventure fans. The full "Robotech" saga will soon be available to you on videocassette, from Family Home Entertainment. Featuring 40 volumes in total, each volume of this spectacular series features the original feature-length episodes that have a following of fans across the universe. Join pilot Rick Hunter on his missions of freedom, and his journeys to new limits of intergalactic emotion. Now, you won't have to miss a beat of the saga that's a favorite with fans everywhere. Plan to collect all of the famous "Robotech" adventures. "Robotech". 40 volumes in all are coming to you on videocassette, from Family Home Entertainment!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Peanuts Home Video logo)
John Leader: Introducing Peanuts Home Video.
Charlie Brown: I love it!
John Leader: A celebration of the best in Peanuts entertainment, new from Paramount and affordably priced wherever videocassettes are sold. These fun-filled programs start your favorite animated characters. From children to adults, everyone will enjoy the delightful adventures of the Peanuts gang.
Lucy Van Pelt: Aah! I've been kissed by a dog! I have dog germs! Get hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine!
Snoopy: Bleah...
John Leader: These holiday specials are the best-loved of all Peanuts programs.
Lucy Van Pelt: He gave me my own egg!
John Leader: Now available on video, "It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown", priced at just $12.95. And for just $17.95, you get a special plush toy of Snoopy and an Easter outfit along with the cassette. Then it's a Peanuts' eye view of grand moments in history.
Dolly: We came to see the Wright Brothers. Will they be flying today?
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Charlie Brown: This time I'm gonna kick that football clear to the moon! AAUUGGHH!!
John Leader: Volume 1 and 2 are collectively priced at $9.95 each. The "Snoopy Double Feature" will double you up in laughter. This series features two prime-time Peanuts specials on one cassette.
Violet: That dog is impossible!
John Leader: The first double feature is "You're the Biggest, Charlie Brown" with "Snoopy's Reunion", and the second is "He's Your Dog, Charlie Brown" with "It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown", priced at just $12.95 each. And be sure to look for a batch of more Peanuts programs coming soon on videocassette.
Peppermint Patty: Hey, that's neat.
John Leader: Then start your Peanuts collection today!
Brian Cummings: Calling all turtle fans! Take off to new dimensions of emotion, with your favorite green team.
Leonardo: Alright, let's go. C'mon!
Brian Cummings: Collect all four volumes of the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Out of This World" series on videocassette!
Donatello: Now that sounds educational.
Brian Cummings: First...
Oogie Boogie: Grand balls of fire! The aliens have landed!
Brian Cummings: A small town has a close encounter of an alien kind.
Leonardo: Now look, I keep warning you I am not an alien!
Brian Cummings: Look, up in the heavens! It's a bird, it's a plane, it's "Unidentified Flying Leonardo"! Then...
Donatello: This is Donatello calling from Planet Earth.
Brian Cummings: Donatello calls the heavens in search of other reptiles.
Raphael: Imagine if he does find other intelligent turtle life out there. The reluctant fact is......they will have pizza!
Brian Cummings: "Beyond the Donatello Nebula"!
Michelangelo: Alright, we're ready to rock and roll!
Brian Cummings: And blast off to a brave new world.
Donatello: A world of turtles. This is exactly what I was dreaming about!
Brian Cummings: "Planet of the Turtleoids"! Plus, the Green Team must stop a rampaging robot to save a friend.
Leonardo: Enough nonsense. Let's take him!
Brian Cummings: "Return of the Turtleoid". Don't miss the fun, dudes! Collect all four volumes of the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Out of This World" series...
Donatello: Please, don't argue! Just do it.
Brian Cummings: On videocassette, from Family Home Entertainment!
Don LaFontaine: Looking for a little peace and silence? Didn't think so.
(Screen cuts to the black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo)
April O'Neill: Mister...
Wolfy: Bond. James Bond.
Sally: Oh, James.
Splinter: That's a neat trick.
Don LaFontaine: The original action adventure hero. James Bond!
(The 1991 Family Home Entertainment logo fades in)
Brian Cummings: Now you can own the Christmas classics you've always loved.
Kris Kringle: Grand idea!
Brian Cummings: With Family Home Entertainment's "Christmas Classics Collection", "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"...
Santa Claus: You're going to lead my team!
Brian Cummings: "Frosty the Snowman", "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", "The Little Drummer Boy" and "Frosty Returns". Old favorites the entire family will love. It's the "Christmas Classics Collection".
Santa Claus: Ho ho ho!
Brian Cummings: And introducing six wonderful new adventures.
Santa Claus: Merry Christmas!
Brian Cummings: They'll make this one of the best Christmases ever, from Family Home Entertainment!
Gopher: Hold everything! I found some spectacular news.
Rabbit: Oh, my!
Jeff Bennett: That's right! Now, there's three new "Winnie the Pooh" videos that really make learning fun.
Tigger: Oh, boy! I've been waiting for this.
Male Singer: (sings) Someone's winking, someone's thinking of all kinds of fun facts to learn and to do so. It's the Pooh Bear grinning for you there in three grand collections of "Winnie the Pooh"!
Jeff Bennett: First, in "Making Friends", Pooh and his pals meet some friendly bugs.
Tigger: Having fun with friends is what Tiggers do the best!
Jeff Bennett: And they soon find out how reluctant best friends can be.
Tigger: Hooray!
Jeff Bennett: Then, it's "Sharing and Caring".
Pooh: Yes!
Jeff Bennett: See how everyone gets to know the gift of getting along with others.
Pack Rats: Ta-da!
Jeff Bennett: By giving instead of taking.
Pooh: For me?
Jeff Bennett: And, in "Helping Others", as Pooh and his friends put their heads together...
Pooh: I think this may requires some thinking.
Jeff Bennett: And lend a helping hand.
Piglet: Don't you want some help?
Jeff Bennett: They always get very big rewards.
Roo: Wow!
Rabbit: Why? That's it!
Tigger: It's unbelieve-abibble!
Gopher: By ding-dangy, you're right!
Male Singer: (singing) Pooh Bear's hoping, you will open the door to adventure and walk right on through.
Chorus: (singing) Winnie the Pooh!
Male Singer: (singing) We'll be sharing, helping and caring and making some new friends with can you guess who? We're thinking in learning with "Winnie the Pooh"!
Jeff Bennett: You'll love learning with "Winnie the Pooh" in these three special videos. Collect them all from Walt Disney Home Video!
Kath Soucie: Join in the fun with Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster and all your family's Sesame Street friends with "My Sesame Street Home Video". It's the best moments from the best children's series ever.
Bert: Ernie, no sheep with tap dancing!
Kath Soucie: Your entire family will love singing along with all their favorite songs.
Elmo: (sings) It's incredible where you can go in your imagination. Hitch a ride on the cloud and go sailing away into the blue!
Kath Soucie: Laughing along with the funniest stories.
Prince Charming: Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair!
Rapunzel: My hair?
Prince Charming: Your hair, yes!
Rapunzel: You want me to let down my hair?
Prince Charming: You've had it down here!
Rapunzel: Oh, alright.
Prince Charming: Your hair!
Rapunzel: Yes, sure.
Prince Charming: Now!
Rapunzel: Hey, prince. Now what?
Kath Soucie: Playing along with the silliest games.
All: (singing) The windshield wipers go swish, swish, swish. All around the town!
Kath Soucie: Rocking along with the hottest numbers.
Elmo: (sings) Yo, 5!
Both: (singing) Yo, 5!
Elmo: (singing) No, guys!
Both: (singing) No luck!
Elmo: (singing) No luck!
Both: (singing) No luck!
Elmo: (singing) Yo, 5!
Both: (singing) Yo, 5!
Kath Soucie: Learning along with the coolest letters.
Gobo Fraggle: (sings) It's the buh-buh-buh-buh-buh of letter B. Letter B, letter B, letter B, letter B. My mother whispers B words, letter B!
Kath Soucie: "My Sesame Street Home Video". Collect them all for you and your child to enjoy. Available only from Random House Home Video!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Alvin and the Chipmunks Sing-Alongs logo)
Brian Cummings: Now on videocassette, it's a grand new sing-along from "Alvin and the Chipmunks".
The Chipmunks: (singing) Oh, let's all sing with the chipmunks, follow the bouncing ball.
Alvin Seville: Alvin!
Simon Seville: Simon!
Theodore Seville: Theodore!
The Chipmunks: (singing) Will drive Dave up the wall.
Dave Seville: ALVIIIIIN!!
The Chipmunks: (singing) But we all love to dance and sing and if you sing along. We promise fun for everyone, come join us in our song!
Brian Cummings: It's the Chipmunks' first sing-along. Get in on the fun and sing along to these favorite songs.
The Chipmunks: (singing) Yippee-ki-yi-yo, get along little little doggies. It's your misfortune, and none of my own. While strolling in the park one day, all in the merry month of May. Oh, I'm off to Louisiana, just to get my Susianna, sing polly wolly doodle all the day. Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. Cha-cha-cha! Alouette, je te alouette. Alouette, je te plumerai! Ooh, ee, ooh-ah-ah ting tang, walla walla, bing bang. Ooh, ee, ooh-ah-ah ting tang, walla walla, bing bang!
Brian Cummings: No one makes sing-alongs more fun than "Alvin and the Chipmunks", eleven wild and wacky songs. Now available on videocassette!
Chuck Riley: And Family Home Entertainment is proud to present a dazzling new feature-length entry.
Man: Thunder...thunder...thundercats ho-o-o-o!
Chuck Riley: Make room for the "ThunderCats: Tower of Traps".
Wilykat: Oh, wow, Lion-O! How do we get out of this one?
Chuck Riley: Based on the completely licensed character line, "ThunderCat" videos are proven rentals. Now, these famous felines take children on a quest to unravel one of their biggest mysteries yet.
Lion-O: The fun's over, Baron. Now we get serious!
Chuck Riley: Join the emotion. Order up "ThunderCats: Tower of Traps"!
(Screen fades from black, revealing the Johnny Carson Collection logo on a white background)
Tom Kane: For all the laughs, don't miss the full "Johnny Carson" Collection. There's Volume 1: "Heeere's Johnny!", which chronicles Johnny's brilliant beginnings and these...
David Letterman: Why screw up a nice fact, right?
Tom Kane: Of a few others.
Jay Leno: We didn't have underwear or potatoes. We ate dirt every day of the week!
Tom Kane: There's Volume 2: "The Master of Laughs", with Johnny getting splashed with his classic impersonations.
Walter Cronkite: (stuttering like Porky Pig) That's all, folks.
Tom Kane: And with these unpredictable guests.
Johnny Carson: What are you doing here with that marmoset on your head?
Tom Kane: There's Volume 3: "The King of Late Night".
Annie Potts: Yes!
Shelley Winters: That's it!
Tom Kane: Where from the stars we know to the animals we don't, everyone loves Johnny.
Bob Newhart: Don't go! Don't go! Don't go!
Tom Kane: And if you collect all three volumes, you can get the video everyone's been waiting for. "The Final Show: America Says Farewell".
Johnny Carson: We started this show October 1, 1962. If I could magically, somehow, make it run backwards, I'd like to do the entire fact all over again.
Tom Kane: Then get the first laughs, the last laughs and all the ones in between. "The Johnny Carson Collection: His Favorite Moments" from "The Tonight Show"!
(Screen flips from black, revealing the Sony Wonder logo)
Neil Ross: Only from Sony Wonder.
(Screen flips to and from black, revealing the title card, "WHEREVER CHILDREN'S VIDEOS, CDS, CASSETTES AND BOOK-AND-TAPE SETS ARE SOLD")
Wherever children's videos, CDs, cassettes and book-and-tape sets are sold!
(Screen flips to black, ending the VHS tape)