| There is some language or violence that may not be appropriate for people under thirteen years of age. |
Template:Infobox seriesDon'tMessWithMe Street is a show on WebNetwork. It is an alternate version of Sesame Street.
Premise
The show takes place in an alternate version of Sesame Street and centers on Bert and Ernie, who are a couple living together. The two seem to have their IQs cut in half for this show. Their friends, neighbors and classmates also have been chagned for the show. Some new characters have also been added.
Characters
- Bert - Calmer, though cockier, Bert is oblivious to subtlety of any sort and is usually 100% confident in everything he says and does, no matter how ridiculous or frivolous it is. As the more dominant personality of the duo, it seems he derives pleasure from regularly abusing Ernie. (Steven Jay Blum)
- Ernie - He is the more excitable of the two, and though he is oblivious to what should be obvious he is also prone to moments of insight (another source of humor) and is nicer and more optimistic than Bert. He often suffers physically in the show, either by Bert or various other characters or situations. (Kyle Hebert)
- Elmo - In this series, he is a nerdy, short kid who looks up to Bert and Ernie and believes they are his best friends. (Colleen Clinkenbeard)
- Cookie Monster - He often hires Bert and Ernie to do chores, which results in them destroying his yard, home, or personal belongings. Due to his poor eyesight and low intelligence, he never seems to recognize the two and he never remembers their names (in one episode, the two wore horn rimmed glasses in an absurd disguise, which Cookie did not notice). (Phil Parsons)
- Big Bird - He is arguably the only person who cares about Bert and Ernie. Big Bird is a devoted hippie with a forgiving nature and gentle demeanor. His repeated attempts to teach the duo useful life lessons typically end in disaster, as they almost always deduce the wrong message. He often plays songs on his acoustic guitar, which typically end in him being severely hurt, and in some cases almost killed. He also owns a substantial 8-track tape collection, which is ruined in one episode by Bert and Ernie. (Sonny Strait)
- Zoe - In this series, she is a sarcastic, vaguely gothic, nerdy girl who attends school with Bert and Ernie, and she is one of the few people who sees the two for what they truly are. While not above taking jabs at them for their lack of intelligence, verbally or physically, she also offers occasional help and advice. The duo usually makes fun of her, but once said she was cool after she asked the president a poignant question during a school assembly. (Monica Rial)
- Prairie Dawn - A little girl who takes expressions litteraly. In one episode, when Prairie Dawn walked up to Bert and Ernie to say good morning, Bert tells her to "get lost", which she does and causes her parents to go on a two-week search for her. (Cynthiya Cranz)
- Grover - Grover is very clumsy, but extremely optimistic, so he dosen't seem to feel bad about it at all. When ever he wrecks something, he says "Not a problem". In one episode, he knocks down various arfitacts in a museum. (Jason Liebrecht)
- Snuffy - Snuffy is extremely gullible and will believe anything that is told to him. The duo once told Snuffy that hitting himself repeadedly in the head with his trunk will get rid of his headache, which he believed without a single bit of doubt.
- Elizabeth - In this series, she has severe acne and terrible mood swings. (Cynthiya Cranz)
- The Count - Count Von Count is a count who just can't stop counting, even if it puts him in danger. (Jason Liebrecht)
- The Countess - The Count's love interest, who was once mentioned in one of the books based on the show. (Jason Liebrecht)
- Jon Ianemsickstin - Jon is a rude and violent gangster who uses Bert and Ernie when he needs something. (Sean Schemmel)
- Mr. Drillsarge - A former war hero who can't get over the fact that he isn't in a war anymore. Angry, impatient and short-tempered, Drillsarge is a Vietnam veteran who served in the Marine Corps and, with the possible exception of Principal McRickson, hates the duo more than any other character. He is shown substitute teaching regular classes, but usually teaches physical education. It has been implied that he has on occasion committed assault and battery against the duo, but he once defended them from an angry guest lecturer. (Christopher R. Sabat)
- Vlad and Deiter - Vlad and Deiter are more intelligent versions of Bert and Ernie.
- Abby Cadabby - In this series, she uses more dark magic powers. (Carrie Savage)
- Oscar the Grouch - He is exactly the same, except he is also more foul-mouthed and says more suggestive things. Bert and Ernie love to play pranks on him, such as sticking firecrackers into his trash can, or taping the lid closed and striking it repeadedly with blunt objects. In one episode, the duo taped the lid closed and rolled the can down a hill.
- Rosita - An immigrant monster from Mexico. In one episode, Bert writes a fraudulent letter requesting money in her name.
- Guy Smiley - A weather man whose weather predictions are always incorrect.
- Principal McRickson - A nervous school principal that hates Bert and Ernie, as their shenanigans always cause him to have nervous breakdowns. In one episode, when everyone thought Bert and Ernie had died, he is finally calm and stops shaking.
- Barney the Dinosaur - Made guest appearances, his first one being when he catches on fire. He also has a potty mouth. He seems to hold a grudge against Elmo.
- Beady Irvin - A teenage girl from Australia who wants to follow in her late father's footsteps in investigating animals. When Bert and Ernie follow her, the two, mostly Ernie, get attacked by the animals.
Episodes
Season 1
- "Door to Door" - Bert and Ernie collect for charity, until they reach the door of a scary neighbor named Deja Floyd.
- "Blood Drive" - The duo give blood in a very shady clinic, only to realize they are muppets and don't have blood.
- "Balloon"
- "Bert and Ernie Meet the President"
- "Elmo vs Barney"
- Viva Lost Vegas - Bert and Ernie fly to Vegas with Grover, the neighborhood klutz.
- Odd Jobs - Bert and Ernie do chores for Cookie Monster.
- Museum - Bert and Ernie are visiting a museum for a class trip and run into Grover.
Season 2
- Who's afraid of the Big Bad Ernie? - Bert and Ernie pretend to be a vampire and a werewolf, respectively, to make their lives more interesting.
- I Had An Accident
- Livestyles of the Sick and the Twisted - Bert and Ernie come up with a get-rich-quick scheme at the mall.
- Caterina Express - The duo sneak on to a boat to the Caterina Island and wreack havok at the hotel, which then gets brodcasted on TV.
- Everybody Hates Murray - A new monster, Murray, moves into Sesame Street, in Herry's old house. He then seems to try to show up Elmo, who immediatley takes a disliking to Murray, and generally causes trouble and makes everyone miserable, while trying to keep up an innocent image.
- Kabuki
- Down Unda - Abbey, upset with Bert and Ernie wrecking her room, magically transports them to Australia, hoping they'd get attacked by the wildlife there. But the duo run into a girl who acts as an expert of the wildlife and join her, but not without their usual recklessness.
Quotes
- Zoe: Hi, Ernie. Learning to drink from a cup?
- Ernie: Mind your own beeswax!
- Bert: Selling stuff sucks.
- [The sign on Oscar's trash can reads "Stay the F@#$ OUT!!!!"]
- Grover: Oof! [knocks down a mummy, ancient pottery and an artifact, breaking them] Not a problem!
Books
- This Book Totally Sucks (2005)
- En-suck-lopedia (2006)
Specials
- Bert and Ernie's Totally Jacked-Up Adventure
Gallery
Oscar the Grouch
Elmo