Guardians of the Galaxy React to General Mills' Products

Guardians of the Galaxy React to General Mills' Products is a fanfiction short written by MarioFan65. It is about the Guardians of the Galaxy trying out some General Mills products after a offer to promote their new movie. It was released on July 23, 2023.

Characters[]

Star-Lord
Gamora
Drax the Destroyer
Rocket Raccoon
Groot
Mantis
Nebula
Kraglin Obfonteri
Cosmo
Adam Warlock
Howard the Duck
Blurp

Transcript[]

(In the galaxy at Knowwhere, the Guardians of the Galaxy are seen in their headquarters, eating some Zargnuts while drinking some extraterrestrial beverage on the table for breakfast)

Star-Lord: Man, these zargnuts are so good. Wish I could go for another.
Gamora: Oh please. You been eating these things for over ten times a day.
Star-Lord: Come on. They're not that bad as regular cereal. They could have been better if we were given some chocolate syrup and marshmallow sauce in it.
Rocket: Who would wanted some soy sauce on their meal like eating noodles and dumplings on a buffet restaurant.
Groot: I am Groot. *eat a pretzel stick*
Drax: I love these zargnuts a lot. Best cereal and important meal in the galaxy! *laugh*
Nebula: It's much better if we added in some blue milk in it.
Star-Lord: Who needed milk? Back home, I ate cereal without milk and I'm okay with it.
Gamora: The amount of milk we drink is the more gain we grow on our bones.
Kraglin: We hunt every creature in the galaxy that contained milk and we succeed getting them for Knowhere's shops and supermarkets.
Cosmo: Cereal is a important breakfast meal of the day.
Howard: Once you gone duck, you're out of duck! *laugh*
Blurp: *giggle* Ha ha ha.
Star-Lord: Very funny Guardians. Classic common moment there for us to rule the galaxy and fight back some Kree and Skrulls.
Adam: *arrive with a big present* Guardians!
Star-Lord: Adam Warlock!
Gamora: What does he want from us?
Drax: It's a delivery. Let us see.
Rocket: What's in there? Toys?
Groot: *curious* I am Groot?
Adam: Our new movie is coming. General Mills gave us a gift with a lot of products to try out to promote the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie in May.
Star-Lord: More zargnuts?
Cosmo: Dog food?
Adam: Cereal, yogurt, and bars! *break the present to reveal some General Mills products such as cereal, yogurt and bars*
Rocket: Holy fur. There's a whole bunch of products to eat.
Groot: *excited* I am Groot.
Adam: Dig in to those meals.
Star-Lord: It's taste testing time. What you got there, Drax?
Drax: *see a Trix cereal box with himself on the cover* Trix! My favorite!
Star-Lord: Why saying it's your favorite when we haven't even try the thing yet?
Nebula: We didn't even start eating!
Star-Lord: I'm from Earth and I know everything what the world has seen, including all the products and food I grew up in my childhood. Let's just not get picky with those things and just try what we got from these products on what faces from the box are shown.
Gamora: One of us is not in the picture and I'm okay with it.
Howard: Not even me having a cameo appearance doesn't even help.
Drax: *eat some Trix cereal* Yeah! The best of the best! Silly rabbit. Trix are for kids.
Star-Lord: *see a Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal box with himself on the cover* Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Cinnamon Toast Twist? They look like mini French toasts with cinnamon on the swirls.
Nebula: It's what a French toast is meant to look like.
Rocket: So is a French toast stick from a supermarket.
Star-Lord: Okay-doke then. Let's try it out. *pour some Cinnamon Toast Crunch on his bowl and eat it* Mmm mmm mmm. I can taste the cinnamon on the French toast!
Nebula: Good for you. Glad you like it. *see a Cookie Crisp cereal box with herself on the cover* Oh, it's me. On a Cookie Crisp cereal box. Also, why there's mini cookies on the box?
Star-Lord: It's cereal! Just eat it!
Nebula: You don't have to tell me what to do.
Star-Lord: My parents told me the same thing when I was five.
Nebula: Weirdo. Worse than what Thanos did to me when I was first abducted. *eat some Cookie Crisp* Not bad as a regular cereal of oatmeal.
Mantis: *see a Honey Nut Cheerios cereal box with herself on the cover* Honey Nut Cheerios. And there's me on the box! Drax! Look! It's me! I'm famous!
Drax: Yeah! Go try it and eat it like it's honey nut zargnuts!
Mantis: Yes! *pour some Honey Nut Cheerios on her bowl and eat them* Yummy! It like the taste of honey is on the ring of Cheerios.
Drax: Must be the money.
Mantis: It taste just like a zargnut.
Drax: I love me some Trix! *eat all the Trix cereal*
Rocket: Okie dokie, chokie dokie now. What is this? *see a Reese's Puffs cereal box with himself on the cover* Reese's Puffs? Isn't Reese's the chocolate brand with the peanut butter inside?
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: The same one that has dark and white variants of these chocolates. A chip on the inside version and a bar where you take five cause, YOU CAN'T HANDLE SIX! *scratch a Reese's Puffs cereal box and eat some Reese's puffs* Ha ha ha. Taste the joys of love. *laugh and eat all the Reese's puffs*
Groot: I am Groot? *see a Lucky Charms cereal box with himself on the cover* I am Groot. *eat all the Lucky Charms* I am Groot. *see a Groot Gurt box* I am Groot! *eat the Groot Gurt yogurts*
Star-Lord: Let's go have some Groot Gurt everyone.
Gamora: Yeah.
Kraglin: *he and everyone eat some Groot Gurt* We are Groot!
Cosmo: Taste like a natural yogurt treat.
Blurp: *eat the cereal on the ground* Arf arf!
Adam: Too much yogurt. Too much healthy and so sweet!
Mantis: Feel so crunchy.
Star-Lord: Oh, I got a crunchy bar, made out of Cinnamon Toast Crunch! *eat a Cinnamon Toast Crunch bar* Taste like a granola bar from Earth.
Groot: I am Groot. *eat a Lucky Charms bar* I, am, Groot!
Star-Lord: Hey hey hey. This is the stuff. We got the best of both worlds with these products from General Mills.
Drax: Trix is the big W. The big win! The goat!
Gamora: Classic.
Howard: We can eat these again any time.
Adam: Don't forget the Chocolatey Cereal with Marshmallows! *show a cereal box with the Guardians and Chocolatey Cereal with Marshmallows*
Rocket: Does it contain all the General Mills cereal that we eat today and mash it up as a crossover?
Groot: I am Groot.
Star-Lord: Does it has yogurt in it?
Adam: It's a super massive special cereal that you're going to love. Have a taste for yourselves. *pour some Chocolatey Cereal with Marshmallows on every bowl*
Star-Lord: Great. Now let's dig in like mining for gems like collecting Infinity Stones. *he and everyone eat some Chocolatey Cereal with Marshmallows* Perfect-o.
Gamora: Nice.
Drax: Ha ha ha. Mix it up with Trix!
Cosmo: At your service. *use her powers to pour some Trix into Drax's cereal*
Drax: Thanks Cosmo. *eat some cereal* Ha! Now this taste even better!
Rocket: This rocks the galaxy so much ever since buying Knowhere from The Collector.
Groot: I am Groot.
Mantis: I really wish Yondu was here to try this.
Nebula: He could have loved all of this.
Kraglin: He was a great friend. A great leader and a Ravager master.
Cosmo: Now that's a cereal we can eat.
Howard: I like Groot Gurt better.
Adam: Glad we love this treat of a reward.
Blurp: *eat the cereal and bars* Ah.
Star-Lord: Thanks for all the products, General Mills. *he and everyone salute and hit their chest to worship their biggest breakfast yet*
Gamora: This is the biggest breakfast we could ever eaten.
Drax: My family would've love to try these things out.
Rocket: A heart of worship.
Mantis: A worthy meal.
Nebula: As important it is.
Kraglin: Thank you for everything, General Mills. We really appreciate the stuff we got.
Cosmo: Yay for General Mills!
Howard: My man.
Blurp: *giggle* Ah.
Groot: I love you guys so much. *shock everyone*
Star-Lord: Whoa, what did you just said?
Groot: Uh... I am Groot!
Star-Lord: Never mind.
Kraglin: Thank you once again General Mills for these cereal and treats.
Rocket: We are. The Guardians of the Galaxy! *he and everyone cheer*

(Fireworks blast at Knowhere and all the ships with a thank you message for Knowhere with all the products General Mills have delivered in the headquarters)

THE END

Trivia[]

Most of the products are based off General Mills' promotion for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3.