Loki Works at McDonald's is a fanfiction short by MarioFan65. The short is about Loki, the God of Mischief working at a part-time job at McDonald's while serving orders as things didn't go well for him, leading to catastrophe chaos. It was released on August 14, 2023.
Characters[]
- Loki
- Iron Man
- Thor
- Captain America
- Hulk
- Black Widow
- Hawkeye
- Spider-Man
- He Who Remains
Transcript[]
(In the Marvel Universe in New York City at a McDonald's near by, the God of Mischief Loki himself work at the cash register with his uniform on and ready to start his shift on serving meals for the day)
- Loki: Greetings, customers. I am Loki. Burdened with Glorious Purpose. Today is my first day on the job, coming out of Asgard and got myself a part-time job on Midgard. Let's start the day and make some money to prepare for a upcoming war. *see Iron Man show up* Oh great. My first customer is a Avenger. How depressing.
- Iron Man: *look around the place* This isn't Burger King, huh?
- Loki: You're in my place, now. Iron Boy.
- Iron Man: It's Iron Man.
- Loki: Iron Man, or Tony Stark isn't it. Are you going to order something or shoot rockets out of your armor?
- Iron Man: I would like a cheeseburger.
- Loki: A cheeseburger? What meal?
- Iron Man: Didn't I just said it? The same as the Cheeseburger from Burger King?
- Loki: Big Mac or Quarter Pounder?
- Iron Man: Just cheeseburgers! Okay?!
- Loki: Fine. *use magic to make a cheeseburger* Here you go and heck off!
- Iron Man: You didn't expect to say thanks over a Infinity Gem. *grab a cheeseburger and fly off*
- Loki: I hate idiots in armor suits. *see Hulk show up by breaking the place* What the?
- Hulk: *roar* I, WANT, FOOD!
- Loki: Whoa whoa whoa. Take a chill pill, angry green man. What you want? Green beans?
- Hulk: Hulk want food. NOT BEANS! *roar*
- Loki: What food?
- Hulk: Chicken fingers.
- Loki: *chuckles* Ha ha. Very funny. You're close. We don't serve chicken fingers there. You're suppose to order Chicken McNuggets? You want that with Fries on top?
- Hulk: HULK WANT FRENCH FRIES WITH SAUCE!
- Loki: My special sauce as in the featured meal? Or is it the Bonus Meal?
- Hulk: FOOD! *roar and eat some Chicken McNuggets and French Fries and left* FOOD! *burp* Excuse me!
- Loki: You didn't pay! What is wrong with you?! *see Captain America show up* Huh?
- Captain America: *salute* Hello. This is Captain America speaking. I appreciate the burger place of yours as Ronald McDonald would be proud of what have been accomplished in the making. I would like a Big Mac and a apple pie as well.
- Loki: Captain America. Savior of the country with freedom of speech and the land of the freedom. Is that what you wanted?
- Captain America: Yes. I have a lot of patience and patience is the key of going to a greater success of being a successful person. My shield doesn't lie on Vibranium.
- Loki: *use magic to make a Big Mac and a apple pie* Order up!
- Captain America: *eat his meal* Thank you, Mr. Loki, sir. I'll be back and order some Quarter Pounders soon. Salute! *salute and leave*
- Loki: Such a nice guy. *see Black Widow show up* Now what?
- Black Widow: The Red Room is in the middle of danger in a incoming emergency mission. I would like a McFlurry before I head out in the sky.
- Loki: An ice cream you say?
- Black Widow: Do it.
- Loki: Alright alright. Here you go. *use magic to make a McFlurry*
- Black Widow: *eat a McFlurry* Oreo McFlurry with M&M's? Not bad, but could have been better with caramel. I'm off to the jet. See you later, mischief. *leave*
- Loki: You don't even know who I am, do you? *see Hawkeye show up*
- Hawkeye: I'm on break from the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. I would like some Chicken Nuggets with French Fries on the side.
- Loki: It's Chicken McNuggets. The menu names are special in here. So you better order with the right names or else, get lost.
- Hawkeye: Uh. Give me what you mention.
- Loki: Fine. Also, you better stop shooting arrows at me or else. *use magic to make Chicken McNuggets and French Fries* Here, take it.
- Hawkeye: Thanks a bunch. *eat his meal* Oof, now I'm off. *leave*
- Loki: He didn't even say thanks. *see Spider-Man show up* Hm...
- Spider-Man: Hey-o. It's your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man here. Wow. What a place it is with the M symbol on the sign in the shape of a French Fry. Where do I order?
- Loki: Um, right here. I guess?
- Spider-Man: Cool. I would like a whole meal before I head off to school.
- Loki: As Featured In meal?
- Spider-Man: Yes. Everything in one bag. Fries, burgers, chicken nuggets, and another burger if asked.
- Loki: Okay. Here you go. *use magic to create a meal for Spider-Man*
- Spider-Man: *grab the As Featured In meal* Thanks Loki. I must be heading to school right now. Peace out! *fly off with his webs*
- Loki: Kids these days. *see a spaceship land on the ground with the guardians showing up on the restaurant* What?
- Star-Lord: I'm sure this isn't Dairy Queen, right?
- Gamora: Not like any restaurant you seen in the galaxy.
- Drax: Man, we should have gone to a pizza place instead.
- Rocket: Well, well, well. If it isn't Loki himself, what can we order?
- Groot: I am Groot.
- Loki: Who are you guys?
- Star-Lord: We are the Guardians of the Galaxy and we would like some Quarter Pounders to go on one of our intergalactic missions.
- Loki: Alright. Here you go. *use magic to make quarter pounders to everyone*
- Star-Lord: Thank you, Lord Loki. *he and everyone eat the Quarter Pounders* Have a nice day and enjoy protecting the galaxy.
- Gamora: We're outta here.
- Drax: That is some good burgers served.
- Rocket: Spicy as eating those space lizards on Knowhere.
- Groot: I am Groot. *he and the guardians head back to the spaceship and leave*
- Loki: Where are these aliens coming from? *see Captain Marvel show up* Oh great. Another alien-hybrid lifeform.
- Captain Marvel: I'm a Kree-hybrid superhero. I need a cheeseburger to go.
- Loki: Ugh. I know you're trying to mess with my day. But here you go. *give a cheeseburger to Captain Marvel*
- Captain Marvel: Thanks. Stay out of trouble if you may. I'm watching you. *point out at Loki and leaves*
- Loki: You don't even tell me what to do, Avenger. *see someone small on the floor* What is that?
- Ant-Man: *try to reach to the counter* Hello? Is anyone there? Is this Baskin-Robbins? Can I have some ice cream with cookie and creams on top as well some gummy ants?
- Loki: Hey, you! Speak up! I can't tell you on the ground like a tiny ant.
- Ant-Man: I said, do you have any cookie and cream ice cream? Anyone?
- Loki: Ugh, take a Big Mac if you like and go! *throw a Big Mac at Ant-Man*
- Ant-Man: *hold a Big Mac* Oof. That thing is kinda heavy. It's not ice cream anyways, but a cheeseburger? Eh. I'll eat this thing and go find another ice cream place to find some ice cream in. *leave*
- Loki: Can I have a customer that is more honest and not selfish as my few last customers? *see Thor show up* Brother?
- Thor: *furious* Loki!
- Loki: Thor, what's wrong? What's with the rush face?
- Thor: What are you doing on Earth when you are suppose to be on Asgard? How dare you disobey our father like that? You should be ashamed of yourself of leaving your world like that. You, should be punished for your crimes.
- Loki: Come on brother. We are just messing. Now get out of my job or else. Order something to go with, like this special sauce. *throw a sauce at Thor*
- Thor: I don't play funny. Your working days are over, brother! *use his Mjölnir hammer to thunder burn at all the food*
- Loki: No! No! No! You burn all the food! How dare you?!
- Thor: Have a nice day, brother. Also, you're grounded. Enjoy eating some burnt food while you're at it. *call out Heimdall* Heimdall! *leave with the Bifrost Bridge*
- Loki: Ugh. You're gonna pay for all of this, brother. Now I have to clean all the garbage caused by you. *see some Time Doors with the TVA emerging out of the doors to investigate on the place* What the?
- Hunter C-20: *check on the kitchen* No sign of activity here.
- Hunter D-90: What is with this burned stuff?
- Loki: What are you doing in my kitchen? You're suppose to order in line. On this spot!
- Hunter B-15: You must be Loki.
- Loki: Yes sir. Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?
- Hunter B-15: Very funny. On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, I hereby arrest you for your crimes against the Sacred Timeline.
- Loki: Sacred Timeline? *laugh* What kind of nonsense name is that? What are you from? The future? Give me a break.
- Hunter B-15: How do you plead for yourself?
- Loki: But ma'am, a god doesn't plead.
- Hunter B-15: Then we're gonna take you for custody.
- Loki: You better get out of my way and leave this restaurant or else. *transform with his armor and hold his scepter*
- Hunter B-15: Hunters, get rid of this man.
- Hunter H-98: Yes ma'am. *he and everyone hold their time sticks against Loki*
- Loki: Back off, jerks. *fight off the hunters through the kitchen by throwing them burgers, sauces and French fries*
- Hunter B-15: Don't think about leaving. You're coming with us.
- Loki: Why don't you pick someone your own size like a Kree! *fight Hunter B-15*
- Hunter B-15: I'll slow you down with 1/16 speed.
- Loki: Huh?
- Hunter B-15: You will. *slow down Loki with the Time Twister and grab him and un-slowing him at normal speed* Good. You're coming with us.
- Loki: I hate you all.
- Hunter B-15: Clear the timeline.
- Hunter U-92: Alright. We're outta here. *use the Reset Charge to reset the timeline as he and everyone leave the timeline*
(As the timeline is reset, Loki and the hunters arrive at the Time Variance Authority, a place outside of time and space where workers work within time and space with Loki being taken to custody as he is brought into court for his crimes on the "Sacred Timeline" with Ravonna Renslayer looking at Loki in her seat for court)
- Loki: How did I get in here?
- Hunter B-15: The judge have a word to say.
- Ravonna: Court is now in session. Loki, how do you plead for yourself?
- Loki: But ma'am, a god doesn't plead.
- Ravonna: How would you like to speak against your crimes in the "Sacred Timeline" that you worked at McDonald's over going to court in Asgard. What make you guilty for your crimes?
- Loki: I am guilty for cutting Sif's hair, invading my home with Frost Giants, serving Thanos to invade the Earth multiple times and fought many Ravagers in Knowhere. I am guilty for burning worlds, guilty of killing innocent people and guilty of stealing rare items across the universe. The judge know I am guilty for all of my charges and should be reset for my crimes. Anyone want a As Featured In meal from McDonald's with my special sauce and French Fries?
- Ravonna: No. You will be reset for your crimes and you will be transferred to a place for variants like you. You will never be seen again and have been fired from your job as a result of the timeline being reset. Hunter B-15, prune the variant if you may.
- Hunter B-15: Will do, m'lady.
- Loki: Now if you excuse me, Ronald McDonald would like to say a wo- *get pruned by Hunter B-15's time stick*
- Hunter B-15: Finally erased him from existence.
- Ravonna: Good. Now I'm hungry for some McDonald's in a alternate timeline.
- Hunter B-15: Let's go grab the As Featured In meal from McDonald's.
- Ravonna: I would also love some apple pie. Save one for Mobius M. Mobius as well.
- Hunter B-15: Will do.
(Somewhere in the multiverse, we head across the Void, a place in the point at the end of time in a wasteland-like area with various destroyed pruned things from other timelines as no other thing age in this setting due to being pruned. Loki find himself in the Void as he is joined by his other variants looking like him.)
- Loki: *breathing heavily* What is this place? Is this Hel? Am I dead?
- Kid Loki: Not yet if you join with us?
- Loki: Who are you?
- Kid Loki: We are you, but different.
(Loki ends up joining a group of Lokis consisting Kid Loki, Classic Loki, Alligator Loki, Lady Loki and President Loki as they live together through the end of time in the Void for the rest of their lives)
THE END
THE LOKI'S "AS FEATURED IN" MEAL
NOW AT MCDONALD'S
(At the Citadel At the End of Time, a ruler like He Who Remains reside at his office while reading the script for "Loki Works at McDonald's", knowing what will happen next if the timeline explode)
- He Who Remains: Well, well, well. What do we have here? Loki working at McDonald's. The time with the customers, the fight with the agents, leading up to the court in the TVA before his prune and send to the Void. Now here's the question. What will happen if the timeline explode and what happen if I die, the multiverse will become a thing again. Will there be another Multiversal War with no one to save or will there be a timeline where everyone run away from me. You will never guess what will happen next if any variant try to kill me next. *hold a bag with the "As Featured In" meal* This "As Featured In" meal serve the basic of every Loki variant that work at McDonald's, can get all the burgers they want and they can't have it all if they try to go after me next! *evil laugh* You know, there's a lot of McDonald's in the multiverse and one of them is floating in space like a asteroid rock. *laugh*
(What is shown outside of the citadel is a big white straight line, looking like a circle from what we called it the "Sacred Timeline" as one singular timeline with no lines branching from one big sacred line to prevent the opening of the multiverse)
THE REAL END
Trivia[]
- The short is released to accommodate the release of McDonald's and Loki's collaboration with the "As Featured In" meal to promote Loki season 2.