Fan Fiction
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This one is a prequel to the hit Star Wars spoof Spaceballs.

Characters[]

  • Gold Starr: Lone Starr's father and mentor to Mervyn Saturnia. Has a laid-back, easy-going, almost hippie-like attitude, but he is quite skilled with the Schwartz. Almost always wears a red shirt with his signature gold star on it. Gets killed in the Final Duel.
  • Mervyn Saturnia: A kid who mysteriously appeared as an infant on Saturnia XVII, hence his name. When he is not practicing his Schwartz skills, he is searching for some way to find out who his parents were. He ends up becoming Dark Helmet (see below).
  • Yogurt: A wise old sage who founded the Order of the Schwartz centuries ago. Mentor to thousands of great warriors, including Gold Starr. Besides the Schwartz Knights, he has a team of hooded Jawa-like creatures (called "Dinks" after the only word in their language) to help him with stuff.
  • Barf: A Mawg (half-man, half-dog) that follows Gold Starr wherever he goes. He is almost always eating something, and when anyone tears him away from his food, he goes berserk. Acts as a love counselor to Gold Starr and Sophie. He lives on the planet Mawgia.
  • Spitz: A half-man, half-frog creature that used to be King Bruppus's Royal Boob, until he got fired for saying a curse word in his language. He rarely appears, except when things are looking grim and everyone needs a good laugh. He talks like Borat.
  • Princess Sophia: Gold Starr's fiancee. It is never revealed what planet she hails from. She loves Gold Starr with a passion. The only problem is, neither side of the Schwartz permits marriage. Gets killed in the Final Duel.
  • President Thorndyke/Lord Dark Makeup: President of Planet Spaceball, he is the only remaining Dark Schwartz Lord. Constantly planning ridiculous evil plots against Gold Starr, all of which fail. Wields a double-bladed Schwartz blade, most likely a homage to Darth Maul. Near the finale, he invents the DNA Scanner, so he can bribe Mervyn into joining the downside of the Schwartz. Gets killed in the Final Duel.
  • Vice President Skroob: Vice President of Planet Spaceball. He is, even more conspicuously than in the movie, a total imbecile. A running gag is that he listens to an iPod repeatedly, usually one of the songs "Raise Your Hands" by Bon Jovi or "(Got a) Holiday in My Head" by Smash Mouth. Promoted to President after Thorndyke's death.
  • The Pingpong V-Force: A team of color-coded elite Pingpongs, a homage to Power Rangers. They consist of the following:
    • V-Force Red: The leader of the PVF. He uses a sword, but mostly relies on hand-to-hand combat, and is skilled in Kun Gek Do.
    • V-Force Black: The weapons expert. He uses a giant nunchaku as his weapon.
    • V-Force Blue: The nerd of the team. He uses two sai as his weapons.
    • V-Force Yellow: The biggest eater on the team. He uses a big cannon as his weapon.
    • V-Force Pink: The only female member. Has a romantic relationship with Red. She uses a bo staff as her weapon.
  • V-Force Robo: The PVF's giant robot that they use for mass destruction. It parodies the various Megazords from Power Rangers.

Transcript[]

  • TJ: Hide.
  • (Space Rangers are hiding)
  • Cassie: This place is crawling with Pirnatron.
  • Carlos: Maybe Zordon is really is here?
  • TJ: Or maybe they know we're here.
  • Andros: What?
  • Darkonda: Look what we have here five little rangers who lost their way. Ha.
  • Andros: Let's rocket.
  • Astro Morphers: 3, 3, 5!
  • (They transform into Spaec Rangers)
  • Darkonda: Now, to finish you off.
  • (Yellow Space ranger arrives)
  • Red Space Ranger: Ashley, what are you doing?
  • Yellow Space Ranger: Go find Zordon.
  • Red Space Ranger: Rigght.
  • Darkonda: What? I don't think so. (Laughs)
  • AStroina: Andros, are you alright?
  • Darkonda: Huh? What? Go get AStromina and the Red Ranger. And bring them to me.
  • Red Space Ranger: Huh?
  • Eclipter: You're history.
  • Astromina: Eclipter, don't.
  • Red Space ranger: LEave her alone.
  • Eclipter: I can't.
  • AStromina: Eclitpter, I don'ty knpw what to say.
  • Eclipter: Just go. Be careful, my princess.
  • Darkonda: Traitor! That's one traitor down and one to go.
  • Eclipter: I'll destroy you.
  • Darkonda: In your dreams. Nighty night, loster. (Laughs0 Alright, Pirnhatrons, fan out and find them.
  • Zordon: Andros.
  • Red Space ranger: Zordon, it's really you. Thanks, Karone. Zordon, I can't believe it. We were starting to lose hope for ever finding you.
  • Zordon: Andros, I...
  • Red Space Ranger: Zordon, what are you trying to tell me?
  • Zordon: Andros, It's just that after all this time. I can't believe you were just still a fool.
  • Red Space Ranger: Huh? What are you talkingm about, Zordon?
  • Zordon: This.
  • Red Space Ranger: Whoa.
  • Dark Specter: (Laughs)
  • Red Space Ranger: I can't believe it.
  • Dark Specter: (Laughs)
  • Red Space Ranger: You won't get away with this, Dark Specer.
  • Darkonda: You're wrong, Red Ranger. You're all fools. Seize him.
  • Red Space Ranger: Karone, how could you?
  • Dark Specter: Karone, tell us all how could you do such a thing?

  • Darkonda: You'll may think you're clever, AStromina. But, we know fool well that you're trying to help the Power Ranger to save Zordon.
  • AStromina: It seems I fooled you as easily as I fool them.
  • Darkonda: Maybe I misjudged.
  • Astromina: My trap worked perfectly.
  • Dark Specter: Yes. But you're not done yet. You must destroy them now. ANd be done for them forever. (Laughs)
  • Red Space Ranfger: Kraone, you're my own flesh and blood. I trusted you.
  • AStromina: Darkonda.
  • Darkonda: What is it, my queen?
  • AStromina: What?
  • Red Space Ranger: What? Karone, no. You don't know what you're doing? You've got cxome to your senses.
  • Darkonda: Which one of you shall I destroy first? Huh?
  • Red Space Ranger: Huh? Karone?
  • Astromina: This way. Quickly. Alright. Hold your arms out.
  • Blue Space Ranger: So you are on our side after all?
  • Darkonda: You traitor!
  • (Eclipter arrives)
  • Eclipter: Get out of my way, you tin monkeys.
  • AStromina: (Gasps) Eclipter! Eclipter, you saved my life again. come on.
  • Eclipter: No. You must go. Dark Specter will be back for you.
  • AStromina: No, I can't leave you like this.
  • Eclipter: Get going. I'll survive.
  • AStromina: No.
  • Red Space Ranger: Karone. Let's moev it, gius.
  • Eclipter: Get her out of here.
  • AStromina: Eclipter!
  • Red Space Ranger: Come on, Karone, hurry. Right up there. Hurry. Come on. Come on.
  • Blue Space Ranger: Deca, get us out of here.

  • Bulk: Come let's get in there! Who's with me?
  • All: (Cheers)

  • Eclipter: You front in center. Report to Station 12. And bring me information.
  • Red Space Ranger: Here goes nothing.
  • Eclipter: Huh? An alarm in the main core room. Get in there. Move it, you worms. Huh? What's going on? Red Ranger, open this door.
  • Red Space Ranger: That'll outta keep him busy for a while. Now I've got to find my sister. (Sees Zordon) Zordon?
  • Zordon: Yes, Andros, it's me.
  • Red Space Ranger: Zordon, I can't believe it. I was beginning to think. I'd never see you again.
  • Zordon: Andros, listen to me. There is not much time. The Forces of Wvil have already capture most of the universe. Soon they will capture the Earth.
  • Red Space Ranger: Yes, I know.
  • Zordon: You can stop it from happening.
  • Red Space Ranger: How? Tell me?
  • Zordon: Shattered my energy tube.
  • Red Space Ranger: No.
  • Zordon: Only the good energy from the tube can destroy the forces of evil.
  • Red Space Ranger: But, Zordon, what's going happen to you?
  • Zordon: I will be gone, but my spirit will forever live in all that is good.
  • Red Space Ranger: No, ZOrdon, we keep fighting. There's got to be another way.
  • Zordon: There is no other way.
  • Red Space Ranger: (Sighs) Goodbye again, old friend. Zordon, no. You asked too much. I won't destroy you. (Sighs)
  • Astromina: How about I destroy you?
  • Red Space Ranger: Whoa. Karone.

Pop culture references[]

  • Spitz is a parody of Jar Jar Binks.
  • Skroob's behavior parodies Yes Man from Kappa Mikey at times (for instance, if Dark Makeup says, "And now Gold Starr, it is time for you to die," Skroob will say, "Die! Die! DIE!!").
  • On his iPod, Skroob frequently listens to "Raise Your Hands", the song Barf dances to while eating ice cream in the original movie.
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